speaking...

I'm speaking tomorrow at Fusion. (Well, today, according to the date... it's after midnight.) Rob told me he's excited to hear what I have to say... I said "so am I." Ha. I was a little nervous about it yesterday, feeling like I really didn't have anything to say, but it came together some earlier. Hopefully, God will pull it all together because I still feel a little scattered. As long as the heart of what I'm saying is communicated, I'll be pleased. As usual, I'm excited about the music. I love singing with the team (Devon, Rob, Donnie, and/or Phil).

For those of you who are new readers of this wonderful blog ;) humor me and place your pin on the map. (Eh-hem... Rob...) Sadly, that's my entertainment. And since some of my friends don't do any real work... they may have some free time on their hands. Just kidding. Aight, that's it for tonight... got to get to bed... I'm a fan of the ellipse marks today... I'm really going now... g'night.

the fire...

Here's the post I promised. It may be short and sweet, but it's good stuff, so I hope you learn something from it. Anyway, to start off with, I got the newest Sara Groves CD over the summer and one song that I particularly like is called Jeremiah. Here are the lyrics:

Jeremiah tell me about the fire / that burns up in your bones / I want to know / I want to know more now / The burning of ambition and desire / it never could come close / to that fire / to that fire // I was looking to myself / and I forgot the power of God / I was standing with a sparkler in my hand // While I stood so proud and profound / You came and burned this whole place down / Now that's a fire //chorus// I was caught up in this vice / and its power to entice / I was dwelling on my hopelessness and doubt // With the slightest invitation / You came with total detonation / Now that's a fire //chorus// I was warming my hands by this little light of mine / but now I know it's time / to come in from the cold / Fight fire with fire, fan the flame / come stir up these coals in my soul, in my soul / till it burns out of control //chorus// Jeremiah

Last week, as I mentioned before, Kathy spoke at Fusion and read a verse from Jeremiah that clarified the meaning of this song for me. Here's the verse:

Then I said "I will not make mention of Him, nor speak any more in His name." But His Word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, and I could not.
Jeremiah 20:9

How awesome! When our own "fire" of self-ambition and desire burns out and we feel like our ministry is useless, GOD'S FIRE is still in our hearts pushing us onward! We don't do things on our own power. The fire that we think we have on our own is just a little sparkler in our hand compared to the awesome consuming fire of God. As the song says, we get caught up with ourselves and dwell on our "hopelessness and doubt" and forget that we don't need to rely on our own power. Then, along comes God "with total detonation" and just blows us away with His power to change any situation.

That's all I have to say about that. I was really encouraged by what I learned from that verse. CONTINUATION is tonight. I'm looking forward to it. Later.

coming attractions...

I have a post in mind, but I'm at my work-grant job right now, so (a.) I can't sit here and type forever, and (b.) I don't have some of the info with me that I wish to include. But to give you a heads up, it's about Jeremiah. Kathy spoke at Fusion on Wednesday, and she read a particular verse from Jeremiah which clarified the meaning of a song I really like by Sarah Groves. Anyway, I'll hopefully be able to post that soon.

I'm really excited about doing Habitat for Humanity tomorrow with all my friends from church. What an awesome opportunity to help people who aren't as fortunate.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! Later.

busy...

I haven't posted in a while, it seems. Life prevents me.

Photography is going wonderfully. I really love it. I turned in my first project yesterday, and I'm looking forward to the "official" feedback from my professor. I've gotten a lot of feedback during class from him, and it seems to be really positive, so I'm feeling optimistic.

CONTINUATION is tonight. That's the prayer meeting at our house. It's becoming very important in my life. I really look forward to it.

Nothing else much to say today. Leave a comment for me. Later.

another...

There's another hurricane headed our way. Are we surprised?

again???

Yes, I am posting again! Nearly a miracle, huh? I'm at my work-study job, and there's nothing to do in the office today, so here I am. I can't wait to eat my lunch. I made a chicken salad sandwich today. I sampled a little of it while I was making it this morning, and it's pretty good.

So like I was saying earlier, my church has started a new Wednesday night service called "Lifehouse." Previously they only had a Wednesday night prayer meeting/Bible study time, which mostly only the elderly people came to. They still have that at 7:00, but they added the Lifehouse service at 6:00. I had been wanting to go to it to see how it was, but with everything else I do (including Fusion/leadership from 8:30-11:00 on Wednesdays) I just hadn't made a point to get there. Now that Bobby has asked me to sing, I will have a reason to make myself go. I'm pretty excited about it. I'm amazed at the number of services that our church holds every week. And I'm amazed that Pastor Ron isn't completely worn out after all of them! We have a Saturday night service, three Sunday morning services, a Sunday night service, a Wednesday night service, and a Wednesday night prayer meeting. Not to mention the youth service on Wednesdays and Fusion for the college group. I'm not sure that Pastor Ron does any of the Wednesday services, however. Anyway, this didn't really have anything to do with anything. Just what I was thinking about.

I have to start signing up to take my teaching exams soon. I was looking at the booklet a few minutes ago, and I think it will be three seperate days that I will have to take tests. I'll do one in January, one in April, and one in July. I'm not really looking forward to those, but I guess it'll be good to get them done. I'm not sure if I have to be done before my internship next fall, or if I have until the end of my internship. All the information about the tests is really vague. I think I have the option of doing online tests, but I think you still have to go to an actual testing place to do them, so I'd rather stick with the paper and pencil tests if that's the case. I was hoping I could just do the tests from my house or whatever, but I guess you would have the opportunity to cheat if you could do that. Anyway.

Well, I'm out of stuff to talk about right now, so I'll quit while I'm ahead. Later.

september updates...

The month of the hurricanes. We finally completed our first actual full week of classes last week. I love photography class so far. And last Thursday I turned 21!!!! I had a great birthday weekend hanging out with friends and stuff. Thursday night my roommates and I went out for dinner and drinks at Chili's. (I had a Pina Colada and a Mango Frozen Martini.) Friday night we started our home-based prayer group called "Continuation" (which will be meeting at our house two Fridays a month) and then some of us went out for Italian Ice at a cool place called Rita's, then a few friends hung out at the house with us. Saturday night we went out for dinner again at Crispers. (We went out again because we were supposed to be going to this new Japanese place because that's where I wanted to go for my "birthday dinner" but after we were dressed and ready to go, we found out it wasn't open yet, so we went out anyway, so Crispers was our cheaper yet still dilicious option.) After Crispers, Krissy bought an ice cream birthday cake from Cold Stone and we went back to the house to enjoy that. Several people hung out at the house that night, too, among which were Luis and Lisa. They demonstrated their talent of dancing the Marange for us, and then Luis taught me. Fun stuff. We tried to teach him the Electric Slide, but intrest quickly dwindled.

Fusion is going awesome. I love it. Our leadership team has grown this year, and it's cool to have some new perspectives on things. I'm so excited for what's to come this year. I've been singing with Devon at Fusion for the past several weeks to lead the praise and worship. I enjoy that. In addition, Bobby (our contemporary music minister) called me yesterday and wanted to hear me sing, so I went to the church and sang for him, and he invited me to sing with the praise team for the new Wednesday night service that the church has started. I'm starting that tonight, so that's cool. Anyway, I've got to run to class now, so I'll try to post later. Bye.

francis...

Hurricane Francis continues slowly to drag itself across the state. The worst of the weather is over, but everyone is still homebound for the most part. In other words, I'M BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!! I haven't sat around and done nothing for quite a while, especially not at my parents' house. 4 1/2 days (5 1/2 by the end of tomorrow) is a looonnnggg time. On the bright side however, I got my camera this weekend. AND I didn't have to pay for it! That was a nice surprise. It's a Nikon N75. I can't wait to start using it. I think I'm really going to like my class. Anyway, I guess I'll get back to the puzzle that I have been working on to occupy my time. Later.

got it...

Well, I've got my photography class. I'm really excited about it. My first day in it will be Thursday, so I'll try to keep you posted as to how things go.

I did a ropes course this weekend at our Fusion Leadership retreat. We went up to St. Simon's Island, GA and stayed at a Christian retreat center for the weekend. It was a really awesome time of growing and planning. The ropes course was really cool, too. I was a little surprised at myself for actually walking across this wire that was strung between two trees some 20 feet in the air. It was cool to see how encouraging everybody was to each other. I love this group of people more than I have ever loved any other group. They are all so awesome. I am so blessed to be a part of this.

i'm back!!!

I'm happily moved into my house in St. Augustine now. I love it! Posting might be sporatic for the next week or so, until we get internet up and running in the house. Might even be sporatic after that, cause I think we're going with dial-up for the sake of cost.

I think I've got the photography class I signed up for this semester. It's on my "tentative" schedule at least. I'm way excited about that.

That's all for now. Much love!

to rachelle in gainesville...

To Rachelle who signed the guest map: Are you the Rachelle from Trinity? And from first grade, for that matter? Just wondering if I had the right person in mind, or if you're a different Rachelle. If it's you, give me the link to your blog. I used to have it, but don't now.

creeds...

The present text of the Apostles Creed is dated c. 700 AD
I believe in God the Father Almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit
and born of the Virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting. Amen

Present text of Nicene Creed 381 AD
I believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
all that is,
seen and unseen.
I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven;
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate of the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
I acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
I look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.
Amen.

*The term "catholic" in these creeds is a term that indicates the fact that there is one united church which is the Body of Christ, not necessarily connected with the term as we use it today representing one denomination.

the Father's love...

How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son and make a wretch his treasure
How great the pain of seering loss, the Father turns His face away
As wounds that mark the chosen One bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross, my sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection
Why should I gain from his reward? I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart: His wounds have been my randsom

woah...

Oh...My...Gosh! I went to the Chihuly exhibit today. It was phenominal! I have never taken so many pictures in such a short period of time... and I take a lot of pictures! I took 4 1/2 rolls of film in two hours. That's somewhere around 106 pictures. Not joking. That's one picture every 1 minute and 13 seconds. Regardless of the fact that I will now have to spend at least $20 in developing charges, I am so glad I went and had the opportunity to take those pictures. I suppose out of 106 I have a pretty good chance that some of them turned out okay! On top of the glasswork being incredible, the garden has an orchid room in their green house that took my breath away! Orchids are my absolute favorite flowers, so I spent forever in that room taking pictures. Actually, I had a lot of trouble getting my camera to focus on the orchids, so it took a little longer. There was another room that housed rainforest type plants, which was also amazing. Chihuly's main piece in that room was incredible. It was a bunch of glass balls in various colors, sizes, and designs, all strung together from the 30-foot ceiling reaching all the way to the floor. I realize as I'm telling this story that unless you were there this is totally unimpressive, but I'm writing anyway. Another cool thing was that he has "floats" in the ponds. They are also large glass balls that just float around (who would have guessed) in the pond. It sounds simple, which technically I guess it is, but it's cool because as a piece of art it is in constant change because the balls change location in the pond all the time. And they are intermixed with these enormous lilly pads. The biggest I've ever seen in my life. The large ones were probably 5 feet in diameter. They're really cool because, as I heard a man explaining, they come up from the bottom of the pond relatively small (I would guess six inches to a foot) and they're kind of wrinkly, and as they sit on top of the water they expand and all the wrinkles smoothe out. Before I left the garden (side note) I had the best Caeser salad. Then I began driving home, but aparently I was in a daze or something and missed my exit. Eventually I was like, "shouldn't I be almost home by now? I feel like I've been driving forever." Sure enough, I had been. When I figured out where I was I was WAY off track! So all in all, I drove an extra 40 miles today! But on the plus side, it gave me the opportunity to go down like the coolest road in Georgia. I drove down this crazy curvy road at like 65mph with my window down and my hair flapping and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was a great day.

holding hands with the wind...

curving Georgia asphalt. beautiful day. manual window in the down position. hair back, hat on: saves face from a battering. righ hand loosely on black wheel. left hand outstretched to the outside world, holding hands with the wind. jade wrapped around thumb, wide brown leather encasing wrist. breezy fingers intertwine with mine. palm to palm. hands twist around, in and out, with glorious interplay.

to feel God. to know His presence. to hold hands with the Creator through Creation. trees, breeze, and rays of light. the glory of God declared. behold, He comes!


This was my five-minute drive to the barn today. I live for moments like that.

baptism...

Pastor Jonny has been preaching on baptism for the last couple of services. I've enjoyed it very much and my understanding of it has been broadened. Today I was reading Scott's post called "Baptism and Salvation". I think I hold a slightly different point of view in some respect than he does, but here's what I do believe. (This is such a complex subject... I know I won't be able to say everything perfectly, but I'll try my best.) I don't believe that baptism is what brings salvation, in the sense that if you are dunked under the water you are automatically saved. That would be to say that salvation is work-based. However, I do believe that baptism is a "part" of salvation, in that if you become saved you will be baptized. Not you might be baptized, or you can be baptized, but you WILL be. As Pastor Jonny put it, "The New Testament does not even seem to entertain the idea of an unbaptized believer." (As Scott put it, salvation is more a combination of things than a single act, but more on that later.) I do not believe that it is absolutely impossible for a person to be saved and not baptized, but for the most part I believe that if your faith is real and your salvation is real, your only desire would be to obey God in every possible way, the first of which is baptism. Regardless of anything else you believe about it, baptism is commanded by God, so in order to live an obedient life, baptism is required.

artist info...

Dale Chihuly has an exhibit at the Atlanta Botanical Garden right now. It's been going on all summer and will last till the end of October. For the 98% of you who have no idea who Chihuly is, he's this awesome glass artist that I learned about in my Intro to Visual Arts class last semester. He makes these incredible pieces from colored blown glass, usually with a very interesting shape. Typically he displays his art in "odd" locations, meaning he doesn't just line the halls of an art gallery with his stuff; he puts them out in nature, or in public settings, or wherever. I really hope to be able to go see the exhibit some time this week. From the pictures I've seen, the pieces look incredible in the garden, and I really want to experience them first-hand and take some good photos. It looks like I might be able to go on Saturday to see it after Ashlee takes her driving test in my car and before Allie gets here that evening. We'll see.

useless info...

We went out to eat Sunday night at one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook the food in front of you. I've been to one in Jacksonville, but there's no comparison, this one was way better. And it was authentic-looking, too: the girls wear kimonos, the decor is very Japanese. With the meal you get salad (with very yummy ginger dressing), soup, fried rice, Japanese hash browns, vegetables, shrimp, and your choice of meat or extra veggies if you prefer (I had shrimp). Anyway, I am very proud to say that, aside from my salad, I successfuly ate my entire meal with chopsticks... rice and all! Yay me!

nine days/five days...

The summer has flown by! In a mere nine days, I will be returning to Florida. I am SOOOO excited! I can't wait to see my friends in St. Augustine and get settled into my house. I'm also way excited because in only FIVE days my best friend Allison is coming to see me here in Atlanta!!! She's riding up with Ginny Pellum on her (Ginny's) way back to school, and Allie will stay with us for a few days and then ride back to Florida with me. That's awesome because now I'll have company for the 6 1/2 hours!

I had to think about something positive for a few minutes because today was a stressful day at work. Luckily, I haven't had too many of those this summer, but today was probably the worst. It was just a really annoying job today. Conditions were far from ideal. But we got done what we needed to do, and luckily Wendy the designer was helping a little today and she's going to finish up the rest tonight because she has to meet with the builder or somebody like that at that house anyway. On the plus side, there was a really attractive guy installing some speakers or something for a little bit while we were there! The funny part of today was Marti and I figuring out how to fit the ladder into her Jeep Wrangler! We conquered it though. It's all good.

Not much else is new. Except that the kids started school today. The middle-schoolers are home already and seem like everything went well. The high-schoolers are still at their extra-curriculars. That's all. Later.

PLLEEEAAASE!!!

If you wouldn't mind taking a few seconds out of your busy day, please click on the new guest map button on the left and put yourself on the map. I'd love it if you would do this for me! Thanks so much.

paths...

"Paths are not made for walking, but by walking."

God rocks!

I feel that confession is the first step in making progress in our Christian lives. Since posting the other day about my lack of faithfulness, I have had the opportunity to talk to two other people about it and get some feedback. That alone has made it easer for me the past several days. In addition, I know that they are praying for me, so their intercession on my behalf is making a difference, also. Speaking of feedback, I was able to talk to two friends (seperately) the other night online, and we had some awesome conversations about serious matters. It's really cool how God teaches us stuff in our personal lives and then we have the opportunity to use what we've learned to help someone else in whatever they're going through. It's also cool how it's not just a one-way thing. If two people are both growing individually with God, they can both offer sound advice to one another, rather than only one giving and only one receiving the advice. That, I think, is what was so awesome to me the other night. In one of the conversations, we both shared our struggles with each other. I was able to share some wisdom with her about her issue, and she was able to share some wisdom with me about mine. I've been in friendships before where things always seemed more one-way. Either I'm pouring myself out into someone and feel like I'm getting nothing back, or I'm the receiver and feel like I have nothing to give back. These relationships happen for a reason, but sometimes they are tough. But then, God blesses us with friendships which are constantly flowing back and forth in both directions, and it's just flat incredible. Even the thought that God would care enough about us to make sure we are provided with friends we "click" with is so cool. It blows me away that He cares that much for each of us. I serve an AWESOME God. And I'm so thankful for it.

for a friend...

God, I pray for ***. I pray that you would be her strength this week. Lord, when Peter set his eyes on You, he was able to walk on water. When we set our minds and hearts on You, You have promised that we can overcome anything. 1 John 5:4-5 says "For whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world -- our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" Lord, on our own we are totally incapable of anything. But as Your children, we do not have to rely on our own ability and strength; we have Your strength within us, enabling us to do anything. Father, we often say with our mouths that nothing is impossible for You. If we really believe this, I pray that we would allow You to take control of the things in our lives that we already know are impossible for us. Jesus, *** needs You to take control of this situation. It is something that You alone can handle. I ask that her heart is filled with the assurance this week that You are in total control. Let her hands be opened, not clinging on to the control of this situation. May she know that the only way to overcome it is to stop trying in her own strength and to allow You to remove it from her life. May You be the "Great Filler" so that in this area of her life You would replace what it is she is letting go of. Jireh, thank You for answering our prayers. Thank You for caring so much about us.

certainty...

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging.
Your love is a mountain strong beneath my feet.
Your love is a mystery, how You gently lift me,
When I am surrounded, Your love carries me.

Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Your love makes me sing!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Your love makes me sing!

good vibrations...

I gave and got advice from two very special friends tonight. It's a good feeling. It's awesome how God lets us learn things and then have the opportunity to share them with one another. He's awesome.

yesterday...

Yesterday was half-off day at the thrift store.  And when I say thrift store, this isn't like the junkie, dirty place around the corner from the old K-mart.  This place is actually pretty nice, as far as thrift stores go.  It's clean and well-organized and of a fairly good size.  The only downside to the place is that they don't have fitting rooms.  On average days, if you buy something and change your mind, you can return it for store credit.  On half-off days, however, which occur on the last Wednesday of every month, you are not permitted to return the items you buy, so generally, you want to be sure the clothes will fit.  The common solution to the lack of fitting rooms at this particular location is quite amusing.  This is what my story is really about.  When shopping in this store, especially on half-off days, it is common to see numerous customers making their way to the "furniture department" with cartloads of clothing.  In the store, there is an area where four bedroom sets are organized side by side.  Each set has a full-size mirror attached to the dresser next to a queen size bed.  These four areas have become the make-shift dressing area.  A somewhat obvious problem still exists, however.  You can't change your clotes in public!  Solution: snug shirts and enormous skirts.  Planning ahead and wearing a snug shirt allows for trying on shirts over your current clothing.  For the bottoms, one must borrow a large, elastic-waist skirt from the womens' area, which allows for trying on things underneath without being seen.  So yesterday, for the first time ever, and totally on my own, I participated in this local tradition.  I started off with a skirt that was far too large, however, which, as you might imagine, caused quite a bit of difficulty.  Another skirt from my pile, thankfully, was an appropriate replacement.  I was not quite as successful as I had hoped to be with finding things that fit, but I found a few good things.  In the end, I came home with 14 children's books (which were not included in the half-off sale), one pair of shorts, one sweater, and three shirts for under $27.  Not bad, I think, since the shorts alone (Old Navy) would have originally cost that much. 

To segue into another topic, I'm really excited about all the children's books I have been able to get this summer, and about the great prices I've paid.  After taking several classes pertaining to children's literature and reading instruction, I have become passionate about finding quality children's books to stock up on for my future classroom.  "Future" makes it sound so far away, but really it's only a year and a half away.  That's weird to think about!  I'm anxious to get back to St.Augustine next month and start my practicums again.  I love being in elementary classrooms.  I love teaching.  That is definitely something I could have never imagined myself saying a few years ago.  It's funny how things work out.  All my life, teaching was the one career I vowed never to do.  "I'll never be a teacher," I said.  Looking back now, I think I said that because I realized how hard it is to be a teacher.  It takes hard work.  It takes patience and determination.  I think at the time I couldn't imagine anything being worth what it takes to be a teacher.  Then, through a clever little plan, God eased me into the teaching field in a way that was nearly painless.  Once I got involved in it, I started to become passionate about it.  The stuff I learn in my classes is so interesting, and then when I work with the kids I actually get to apply it.  (I love it when they teach us useful things in college!)  I don't know if I'll want to teach forever, or just for a few years, but I do know that right now I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and that's a good feeling.

disheartened...

Maybe it's just plain jealousy.  Idunno.  I was reading several blogs today, by way of links from other blogs, when I came to realize that most other Christian bloggers seem to write solely about spiritual matters.  They seem deep and meaningful, and the posts I read were quite good and had valuable things to say.  So why is it that I find myself writing most days about what I had for dinner or what the kids did?  Am I less of a person, spiritually speaking, than they who write spiritually?  Couldn't they just be "praying loudly on street corners"?  I am certainly not the one to judge their sinceriety, besides the fact that I truely do enjoy most of the ones I have read.  But regardless of whether they are being real or not, I have come to a conclusion regarding my ho-hum writing.  I can't write about what I'm learning from God when I'm not taking the time to listen to Him.  To be totally and completely frank, my consistency in my personal time with God has been pushed to the back burner this summer.  Being on the back burner doesn't mean it's gone completely; it just means it is not receiving the attention it deserves.  (For the record, the stereo in my car is messed up right now, and I'm beginning to believe God let it break so we could have more time to talk!)  While I do not believe reading the Bible daily is a direct command of God, I do believe frequent Bible-reading is a critical part of one's relationship with God.  It's the main way we hear what God has to say to us and what His will is for us.  So if we say that knowing God's will is so important, why don't we investigate it constantly?  Why don't I?  Why was it so easy for six years for me to read my Bible every single day, yet all of a sudden in a single year, when I feel my life as a Christian is at a much higher level than it ever has been, it is now like pulling teeth?  Option A is that for six years it was just part of the routein.  Now that it has deeper significance, it doesn't just "happen," it takes effort.  (I had an Option B, but I forgot what it was.)  I've been talking to God daily about this for some time now.  I realize, and admit to Him, that when I do read His Word I love it.  I can't get enough, once I'm started.  It's just that "getting started" part that seems to be hard right now.  Lately, I've been averaging about three days a week on my Bible reading.  I know God doesn't keep score, but I also know that I could give Him a lot more of my time and consideration.  He deserves far more than I am giving Him.  Granted, He deserves far more than I ever could give Him.  I don't know where I'm going with all of this.  I guess this is just my confession.  In Sunday school, Bryan mentioned how we put up guards around ourselves by always asking prayer requests for other people, never acknowledging our own needs, thereby never allowing anyone to really know anything about us.  I thought of this today.  I thought it would be appropriate for me to acknowledge my shortcomings.  I also thought today about something that I heard once, or more than once: if it is easy (or costs you nothing), it is not really sacrifice.  For me, worshipping God through songs is not really sacrifice.  It doesn't cost me anything, and it's not really "hard" for me.  I don't know that I would call reading my Bible a sacrifice either, but it may turn out to be even more valuable in my life since it is something that is a little more difficult, at least right now.  These are my thoughts.  These are my confessions.

random abbey thought of the day...

Out of the blue today, Abbey (12) asked me, "Are you and Niki best friends?"  "Not best friends," I replied.  "What makes you ask that?"  "Cause you two get along so good.  And you sure do laugh alot together." 

Mind you, Niki and her mom Lori came for a visit back in the beginning of May.  Today, nearing the end of July, Abbey asks me this.  You've got to love the 12-year-old mind! 

She did make me think, though.  I really do enjoy Niki's company.  I think we have similar personalities in certain ways.  And definitely a similar sense of humor... a bit on the sarcastic side.  Funny how you don't notice things until a 12-year-old points them out to you.

plan ahead...

Where will you be January 2-5, 2005?  I'll be at Passion '05, Lord willing.  I've wanted to go to a Passion confrence ever since I first heard about them.  They only come around once every other year, so you have to grab the opportunity when you can.  Last time (Oneday '03) the dates were during the semester, like Tuesday through Friday, which is a LOT  of time to take off from school.  This time, however, it'll be before classes start, so I'm definitely going to try to go.  For anyone else who might be interested, be sure to check out the link.  In addition, be sure to register soon because space fills up quickly and prices go up, too.

the day the silence ended...

I had the house to myself for an entire week.  Matt, Alyssa, and Abbey went to Texas to visit their uncle, and Rex, Marti, and Ashlee went to Brazil on a mission trip.  I got bored at times, but it sure was nice being on my own schedule and having a quiet house for a while.  I was excited to see the kids when I picked them up at the airport on Sunday (which is another story altogether), but without Marti here to be the one in charge, I'm playing "mom" again for a few days.  I don't mind it, except that the kids are still in "vacation with Uncle Chuck" mindset, which means I'm having to nag them to clean up after themselves and all that stuff.  I hate sounding like the "bad guy," always saying "come get your cup" or "is this your plate?" or "make sure this is all cleaned up before you go to bed."  A necessary part of being the responsible adult, I suppose.  I'm sympathizing with moms everywhere tonight, though, because after cooking dinner, no one really ate any.  Well, Alyssa did have some salad, and I would have made the rest  of the stuff for myself anyway, so I guess it's no biggie.  Anyway, random thoughts of the day.  Rex comes home tomorrow, so I can at least split the responsibility.  I figure, however, that by the time I have my own teenagers, I will be well-experienced in raising them!  Later.

new things...
 
First off, I get all used to the way Blogger is set up for me to publish my blog, and they go and change it completely.  But it'll be fine.  Secondly, lots of news from yesterday.  Abbey got her cast off her foot after six weeks.  Marti suddenly had to turn her car back in because the barter deal for it didn't work out the way they had planned, so the Briant family is back to one automobile for a while.  (A new one is in the works, however.)  So I went to pick up Marti and Abbey yesterday when they turned in the car, and then we took Abbey for her long-awaited pedicure, which was her "treat" after getting her cast off.  Marti and I got pedicures, as well, which was my very first one ever!  It was fun.  I wasn't sure how I would feel about somebody messing with my feet, but it was nice.  And now I have super cute orange-sherbert-colored piggies with nifty white flowers on the big toes.
 
The Briants are leaving for the week, so I'm gonna have the house to myself for a while.  Rex is heading to Brasil today, and Matt, Alyssa, and Abbey are going to Dallas to stay with their uncle.  Marti and Ashley are leaving for Brasil on Sunday.  After that, it's just me for more than a week.  Well, me and Solomon the dog.  Not sure what exactly I'm going to do to keep myself occupied after work.  I'll figure something out.
 
Well, for now I'm off to make a smoothie before going to the airport.  Later.

awesome song...

There's a new song that we were just introduced to yesterday at choir practice, and it's awesome!

I call You holy, Lord You are holy,
You are so holy to me
I call You holy, Lord You are holy,
Holy You are and holy You'll be

I call You awesome, Lord You are awesome,
You are so awesome to me
I call You awesome, Lord You are awesome,
Awesome You are and awesome You'll be

I call You Jireh, Lord my provider,
You are provider to me
I call You Jireh, Lord my provider
Jireh You are and provider You'll be

I call You Healer, Lord You are Healer
You're the Great Healer to me
I call You Healer, Lord You are Healer
Healer You are and Healer You'll be

I call You all that, Lord You are all that
You have been all that to me
I call You all that, Lord You are all that
All that you are and all that You'll be

Marti got the CD of the book it's in, and we listened to this song like 10 times in the car today!

dang!...

We had CHURCH today! It was so awesome! Pastor Johnny has been out of town for like two weeks, and he's always really fired up when he comes back from not preaching for a while, so it was a given already that today's services would be powerful. Before this morning's service, Sunday School was also really good. Lots of good information and good participation from everyone. Then, the worship time in the service was good, and Pastor Johnny preached an energetic message. Tonight's service was unbelievable. There were a bunch of baptisms, many from our "regular" crowd and many from our inner-city ministry. That part of the service alone seemed to go on forever and it was awesome. (I love watching baptisms.) Then, we had a great time of praise and worship, followed by a very powerful and passionate soloist, followed by the choir special which was amazing! The choir special was a really good arrangement of "Days of Elijah," which I really enjoy anyway, and add to that the incredible lady who sang with the choir, plus (most significant) the awesome presence of the Spirit of God that was present as thousands of His children joined together to praise His name. Our service starts at 6:00, and by 7:15 Pastor Johnny was just getting up to speak! Sometimes things get long because we make them long, but tonight was prolonged by the Spirit of God and it was incredible. I love, love, love times like that, when His presence is just so evident and all you can do is continue to praise Him. That's what heaven's gonna be like. We will be compelled continually to praise Him. On, and on, and on, and it will be awesome!!!

Days of Elijah
Words and Music by Robin Mark


These are the days of Elijah
Declaring the Word of the Lord

And these are the days of your servant Moses
Righteousness being restored

And though these are days of great trials
Of famine and darkness and sword

Still we are the voice in the desert crying
Prepare ye the way of the Lord!

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

And these are the days of Ezekiel
The dry bones becoming as flesh

And these are the days of your servant David
Rebuilding a temple of praise

And these are the days of the harvest
The fields are as white in the world

And we are the labourers in your vineyard
Declaring the word of the Lord!

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

There's no God like Jehovah!

There's no God like Jehovah!

There's no God like Jehovah!

There's no God like Jehovah!
(Repeat 3 times)

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

mini shopping spree...

Well, I went to Target today to get out of the house and to find a water bottle that I like. I had two other necessities on my list, one of which Target did not have. But while there, I managed to spend $60. How does that happen? I don't think it was a waste though. I found a backpack for school, which I had been looking for; I got the water bottle I went for; I got soap, which was on my list; and my "splurge" item was a set of really trendy silverware that was marked down. The backpack is perfect, which is a big deal to me because I'm really picky about backpacks. This one's a black, fairly plain, one-strap Jan Sport. The water bottle is perfect, too. I'm also really picky about those. This one is made by Eddie Bower and it's this cool nearly-unbreakable plastic that's supposed to be better for you, health wise, than other plastics. The silverware were calling my name. I always look at silverware, but could never justify buying them until now. (Yeah, I'm weird. I'd rather shop for housewares than clothes any day.) The mark-down sign in front of them was all the justification I needed. I had one other splurge item the other day. I was at Pac-Sun with Marti looking for a hat for Sam's birthday when the world's most perfect pair of brown Reefs jumped out at me. There was one pair hanging at eye level, which was about 4 rows down from the others like it, and that pair was my size. I tried them on and I fell in love. Yes, they cost way more than I would normally spend on any shoes, much less flops, but they are incredibly comfortable, and I reasonably justified this one by determining that for approximately 75% of the past year all I have worn is my brown flops. So I'm really happy with the stuff I have purchased this week, but I'm not allowed to spend any more money. Hopefully I can stick to that!

one more thing...

My friend Melissa from high school is getting married at the end of the month! I just found out a few weeks ago, but that's really cool. Wish I could be there, but congratulations anyway.

quote of the day...

"When things don't go right, just build a new door... and then shoot staples through it... character."

HAHA. (That makes no sense to anyone but me... and Marti, because it's her quote, but she's not reading this.)

condensed...

This will be the condensed version of the Bible study on Ruth 1 that I led last night with the girls.

The story: A man named Elimelech lived in Bethlehem with his wife Naomi and two sons Mahlon and Chilon. Bethlehem was where the people of God lived at the time. A famine came in Bethlehem as punishment for the sinful lifestyle that God's people were participating in. Elimelech decided that another city, Moab, had more to offer, so he took his family there. They probably only planned to stay for a short while, but the two sons wound up marrying Moabite girls named Ruth and Orpah, they stayed for about 10 years, and eventually Elimelech and his two sons died. The three women were left. Naomi was going to return to Bethlehem because she had heard that the famine was over and God was providing food, but she urged the two girls to stay in Moab and return to their homes. The girls said they were going with her. After more urging, Orpah decided to return home, but Ruth stayed with Naomi. Naomi and Ruth returned to Bethlehem, but Naomi was so bitter for the things that had happened to her that she even wanted to change her name signifying her bitterness (Mara).

Important notes: Most of the names in this story have significant meanings. Elimelech: My God is King. Bethlehem: house of bread. Naomi: pleasant. Mahlon: unhealthy, sickly. Chilon: puny, pining. Moab: washpot; "what father?". Orpah: deer; stiffnecked. Ruth: beauty, friendship, mercy.
Elimelech, the one whose name signifies that he believes in God, quit trusting in the providence of God and relied on his own strength. He left the place God had for him and went to live in a sinful nation. Next, his sons married two girls from this pagan nation. All three guys died, leaving three widows (which, at that time, were equivalent to the homeless in our society), so when Naomi heard that God's blessing had returned to Bethlehem, she decided to go back. Even though the Christian family had been living in a pagan nation for a long time, their faith must have still had an impact on the two daughters-in-law because they were both interested in following Naomi back to her homeland and her way of life. Naomi was upfront with the girls and let them know that coming with her would not be an easy thing for them to do. It would be difficult. After considering the cost, Orpah decided it wasn't for her, but Ruth committed to Naomi wholeheartedly. Upon her return to Bethlehem, Naomi complained that the Lord had brought her back empty and she wanted to change her name to Mara to signify her bitterness. The Lord had other plans for her, however. He did not change her name... there was still hope for her. She was not destined to be bitter forever. She would still "experience great joy in her life and in her God. God had not abandoned her."

Characters to which we can relate:
Like Orpah, many people say they want to follow God, but they change their minds when they find out how tough it may be... that it won't be a walk in the park.
Like Elimelech, some Christians who are in a tough place, when given the choice of trusting God or running, choose to run. They doubt the "Fatherhood" of God and that He will take care of them. The step out in willful disobedience and rely on their own strength.
Like Naomi, some Christians who have run away do return, but they want to make sure God knows that they are mad at Him for letting bad things happen. They let bitterness take over and define who they are.
Like Ruth, true Christians consider the cost of following Christ and follow knowing that it might not be easy. They commit to Him through good times and bad.

Something else we can learn: "We can never expect to bring back anything productive from our [trip] to Moab! If we are true sons of God then the Lord will bring us back to Himself, but it is not usually pleasant."

congratulations...

Dallas and DJ got engaged!!! How exciting!

(Yes, Allison, you still need to write me and tell me all about it! Tell me everything you know!)

more...

I forgot to mention, since I was busy ranting, that my book was also delivered. It's called TwentySomeone. Yes, "someone" not "something." That's the whole point. When you say "twenty-something" it's like making people into nothing more than a statistic. (Okay, that's not always how the word is used, but for the example.) This book addresses asking yourself the question "who am I?" which is more useful and fulfilling than "what am I supposed to do with my life?" So far it's been really good. It talks about who God has made us to be and how we have a primary calling of "living out our identity as children of God." Our secondary calling is the part of life that is individual to all of us, such as what job we choose, how we serve in our church, etc. As the book points out, however, sometimes God chooses to wait to reveal this part to us until later on in life. One possibility for this is that He wants us to focus on our primary calling during our younger years (say, our twenties). It gives an acronym (borrowed from another book) on how we begin the process of discovering our secondary purpose. We have to consider our SHAPE: spiritual gifts, heart, abilities, personality, and experience. There is a section about each of these. One quote under "heart" that really stuck out to me was this: "What is it I'm passionate about? ... If we don't pursue the passions contained within our desires (the good ones, that is) because they're impractical or we think they're silly or we're too busy, we run the risk of losing a major part of ourselves. So once you figure out what you're passionate about, cultivate those things. We need to care for our hearts and passions--examine them, write about them, share them, express them--or we will grow cold and disconnected as we pursue things in life we don't really care about." So that's what I'm doing here! Writing about my passions. And hopefully this is just the start. My desire is to go further by actually developing things in my life that I am passionate about. Like the quote says, sometimes I feel like my desires are silly or impractical or I'm too busy, but I really want to do certain things despite those facts. Here's my list, or a shortened version of it for your sake!

1. I want to learn to be a better photographer. (I'm signed up for a class this fall... as long as I get in and I can get a camera, we're on the right track.)
2. I want to learn to play the guitar. (I own one but can't play it.)
3. I want to learn to play the cello. (If I still care to learn a third instrument after the guitar, this will be it. Or if the guitar doesn't work out too well, this is another option.)
4. I want to learn to paint.
5. I want to go to a gym on a regular basis. (During the school year I'm pretty good about going twice a week. When I graduate, however, I need to find one close to wherever I live and make myself go. I enjoy it when I'm there, it's just hard to get myself there at times.)
6. I would love to sing in a really good choir. (This one is dependent upon where I live and whether or not that area has one. I'm open to suggestions about this, if anybody has any info.)
7. I MUST be involved in a good strong group of believers. I CANNOT let this get pushed to the back burner. (While in St. Augustine I am involved. If I move, hovever, I have to make it a priority to find a group.)
8. I want to allow myself time to enjoy things like the scenery, art galleries, the beach, whatever. (This is why I love St. Augustine... it provides all these things as long as I do my part and make time for them.)
9. I want to cook real food on a regular basis instead of relying on the quick-fix meals our society bombards us with.
10. I want to go to good Christian concerts as often as possible. (This is already happening at this point in my life, but I want it to continue as I get older. I don't want to stop taking time to enjoy the music I love just because it's a little less convenient or I'm starting to get out of the average age group or whatever.)

That's my list for now. I wrote about my passions and desires like the book says. (For that matter, writing is one of my passions.) Now I intend to go out and do as many of them as I can.

wishful thinking...

You've heard of "Christmas in July" right? Well, I'm starting my Christmas list in July. Top of the list is a bread maker and grinder! I made garlic rolls for dinner tonight and they were sooooo good! Actually, I prefer them without the garlic butter, but garlic is healthy for you, so I ate a little. Tomorrow or Saturday we're making our own pizza crust. And today we discovered how to make really good pasta sauce (not with the bread maker, however). I included it in our turkey lasagna tonight. Very yummy. I'm getting a little nervous about all this healthy food, however, because Marti got the "Eat to Live" book she ordered in the mail yesterday, and it sounds super strict. I'm talkin' like hardly any meat, no pasta, no oil (unless you weigh 99 lbs. and then you're allowed one teaspoon a day! no joke.), no sugar, and the list goes on. Marti is convinced that it's not a "diet" it's a "way of life," which is all true if you stick to it for the rest of your life. But personally, eating such a limited selection of things would get awefully boring very quickly, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't stick with it for long. My personal approach to food is "anything in moderation," which I know sounds cliche, but that's really how I feel. I'm not going to cut anything completely out of my diet. If I want a slice of chocolate cake once in a while, I'm going to have it. But not three slices, or a slice every day for two weeks. And I'm not going to cut carbs out to the point that I eat a sandwich wrapped in lettuce instead of bread. That's just rediculous. And I'm not cutting meat completely out because my grandmother is 85 and still going strong after eating meat with every meal of her entire life. Besides, I am a firm believer that it is better to enjoy your life and live it to the fullest than to be completely consumed with what it is that you're supposed to or not supposed to eat while hating every minute of it. So what if you weigh 5 pounds over what your ideal weight is, as long as you love life and everything about it. Like I said the other day, I believe eating healthy is honoring to God, but if it becomes your focus, it becomes your idol, and that's definitely not right.

So, that's my little rant for today. I guess that's what has been pinned up in me for the last several hours! Now, I'm looking forward to leading a Bible study on Ruth tonight with the girls... in about 40 minutes. Later.

nutrition...

An additional benefit to me of staying with the Briants for the summer is that Marti has decided to change the way the family eats. She's going healthy in every possible way. We've started eating lots of fruits and veggies. A few weeks ago we started this grain drink thing... it's not as bad as it sounds! What it is is 14 different kinds of whole grains mixed together, and you take 1-3 tablespoons of the mixture and grind them up (in a little coffee grinder thing) and add them to juice or a fruit smoothie or whatever. Okay, so if you add it to juice you still have to like chew up the grains once you get to the bottom of the glass, but it works a lot better in smoothies. And speaking of fruit smoothies, that has been my breakfast almost every day. I blend frozen strawberries, frozen banana, and organic apple juice together every morning. Sometimes I do other fruits, like right now I'm drinking a strawberry and blueberry one. And the newest thing Marti has done is purchase a bread-maker. The key part of making healthy bread is that you also get a grinder and grind your own flour because white flour that you get from the grocery store is bad for you. So yesterday was the first day of grinding flour and making bread. It's really easy to make and it's really good. There's only like 7 ingredients in it, and all you do is put the ingredients in the machine and it makes the bread for you. We also made some muffins with the "new" flour last night. They are yummy! They're sweetened with honey instead of sugar, so that's an added health benifit. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I move out in a month and a half. By then I'll know how bad most foods are for you and I won't want to eat them! I can take the smoothie idea back with me, and the fruits and veggies, and maybe even the grains, but I'm a poor college student and can't afford a grinder and a bread maker! So I plan to give the health food store in St. Augustine a visit and see if they sell any healthy bread, among other things that I will be looking for. Anyway, for now I'm glad I've had someone to encourage me to eat healthy. I believe that eating healthy is one way in which I can honor God in my body, so if I keep that in mind I will have more of a reason to stay consistent. That's all for now. I'll write again when I discover something else! Later.

somber...

I had intentions of making this into a well-written piece, but the fact is it's just going to be straightforward instead. I just found out that a friend of mine lost her dad on Friday. She's twenty, like me, and she's already lost her mom... about a year and a half ago, I guess. For any other friend in this situation, I would know how to feel... overwhelmed with sorrow for them. For her, however, I'm almost at a loss of how to feel. She had a distant sort of relationship with her parents. I sure she's sad to have lost them, but ... I don't know. It's just weird. And how do I approach her? I haven't talked to her in months, and we're not super close, but we are a little I guess, so do I call immediately tomorrow, or do I wait a while, or what? [Not really looking for advice, just sorting through my thoughts.]

I don't know how I should feel for her, but I do know that this whole situation has instantly made me grateful for what I have. I have two parents. Two married parents. They raised me in church; they've always been supportive of anything I did; they love me; they've taught me how to be a responsible adult with good moral grounding; and they're still around. And I still have a good chance of my dad walking me down the asile one day, and of my parents seeing my kids, and of us taking trips to "grandma's" house. God has a purpose in everything that happens. Some people lose their parents; some people get to keep them. The former is a lot tougher to deal with, but there's a purpose. I pray that as she and I find ourselves in different situations that I can somehow minister to her, regardless. I praise God for the blessings that He has given me; I pray I use them to do His work.

wow...

I can't believe it's July already! Time flies! And I just came to realize a few minutes ago how seldom my posts have become, and often equally worthless! To those who still read, I apologize! Once again, I really have nothing to talk about, so I'll just give some updates on what's been happening. Last Friday was Matt's 15th birthday, and Rick and Monica's baby was born on the same day. His name is Jonathan Blake and will go by Blake. Seems odd to me that his name is Jonathan because that's Rick's middle name and he hates it! Anyway, it was cool that he was born on Matt's birthday because Marti told Rick and Monica that he would be. Now she's trying to convince them that she's right about them having a fourth child! (Blake is the third.) Monday was Marti's birthday, and after visiting three grocery stores, I finally was able to find the kind of ice cream cake that we had planned on getting. It was worth it! For her birthday, Rex and the kids bought her a Cannon Rebel camera to replace the one she gave to the missionaries in France. That was cool. I got her sour gummie worms and cotton candy... two of her favorite things! As for this week, Rex has sinusitus and he's gotten me sick as well. He's on antibiotics, but I'm surviving with some cold medicine so far. Hopefully we'll all get better instead of worse. Yesterday was fun because I went to the thrift store (again) with Marti and I got a bunch of good children's books for really cheap. (I'm starting my collection for my classroom.) I paid the price of like one new hardback book and got 19 books! I had already gotten like 4 others the last time I went, plus this lady at a garage sale gave me a whole big box of books... those were the little ones that I would give out to students or something. But anyway, it's been really cool to get all those books for so cheap. The only other new news is that I got my room back because Marti's parents left on Tuesday. It was fun having them here, but I'm definitely grateful to have my own room again, rather than shifting from one room to the other based on who had overnight guests! The cool thing is that now the basement is completely furnished, so I get to enjoy it. There's only a few things missing... kitchen cabnets/counter, some doors, a closet... but most of it is done and is really nice. I'm supposed to be starting (leading) a Bible study with the girls this week on Ruth, but that may get postponed another week. I'm looking forward to it, but I don't think I'm prepared enough yet. I need to do some more reading today and get organized. I think I'll go do that now. Have a great week! Later.

see it for yourself...

You can see last Tuesday's 7/22 meeting online here.

notes as promised...

PRAYER: A REMIX part one
WHO IS BLESSING WHO?

*The way we have grown accustom to praying is this: bless me, be with me, watch over and protect me, forgive me of my many sins. It all ends with ME! A new way that we should pray is this: Lord I want to bless You, live through me and use me.
*Converse with God instead of regurgitating cliche phrases that you've heard.
*Pray "New Testament" prayers... pray in light of God's grace.

OLD TESTAMENT
*Genesis 12:2-3 (God's promise to Abraham) God's idea of blessing: "leave your country, leave your family, and leave your father... go where I'm leading you and I will bless you."
*Numbers 6:22-27 (blessing of Aaron)

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: "Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, 'This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them: "The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace."' "So they shall put My name on the children of Israel, and I will bless them."

Why not pray this prayer? Because this prayer was fulfilled in Jesus Christ on the cross! ALL the blessing came through Him.

NEW TESTAMENT
*Galatians 3:14 "That the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith."
We got the blessing through Jesus. We HAVE the Abrahamic blessing! (Even us Gentiles!) Our prayer should be "Thank You for the blessing you have given me!"
*Ephesians 1:3 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ."
Christ HAS blessed us! It doesn't just mean in heaven; in means in the spiritual dimension of life that is just as real as the physical.
*John 1:16 "And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace."
We HAVE received the fullness of his grace. "Grace for grace" means one blessing, after another, after another!
*The key is recognizing that we possess the blessing of God.

*Asking God for a blessing is like wanting a present when He's already given us every gift we could ever ask for. He's saying "Tap into the resources that are available to you... open your eyes!"
*Romans 8:17 -> we're sitting at the right hand of God!!! yet we are still saying, "God, will you give me a blessing?"
*All of the prayers in the Bible after Calvary are blessing God rather than asking for His blessing.
*The proper view of being blessed by God is asking Him to use you and what you have so that you can bless Him more.

*(side note... free of charge!) The author of "The Prayer of Jabez" has the proper view of blessing... after making a ton of money from his book, he moved to Johannesburg, South Africa to serve God.

7/22 report...

I absolutely love 7/22! It was so good last night. I think for me it was more than the actual event that was awesome; it was awesome how God made everything "connect" last night. Matt Redman was leading worship, and one of the first songs we did was one of his new ones. There was a phrase in it that says "Lord, my ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you," which was a phrase that I had read just the day before! It really hit me when I read it on Monday, and then it was really reiterated when I heard it in the song on Tuesday. How cool! Then, Louie spoke. His topic fit in perfectly with what I had been reading from a book my Sunday school teacher gave me. Louie spoke about adjusting the way we approach God in prayer. It's actually a three-part message that he'll be completing throughout the summer sessions. Tomorrow I'll try to post some of the notes I took. It was really awesome, talking about how we need to bless God rather than asking Him to bless us. Anyway, more on that tomorrow. Erin came with me last night. I'm really glad she did, too. I think this is the first large-scale "modern worship" thing she's been to. She said she goes to the contemporary service at her church (when she's not working), but I'm pretty sure this was the largest number of Christian young people she's ever seen all in one place! She seemed to enjoy it, and I hope she comes again next month with me. Well, that's about all. If you're ever in the Atlanta area, definitely check into going to a 7/22 meeting. Later.

shop life...

Screaming saw. Whining sander. Mental radio attempts to and occasionally succeds at drowning them all out. Body focused in repetitive, mindless action, with mind free to wander as it pleases. Rehearse choir song... recall events of previous evening... plan for the future.... Song lingering from car radio hours ago. Twelve drawers done; on to the vanities. Song still lingers. Fumes replace breathable air. Finish this strip, then you can breathe.... Ah, much better. Sudden slap of cherry and pine on concrete. Wish they wouldn't do that. Men. A woman would find a better way. Lunch, at long last. Table full of mixed culture. American lunch meat and pizza; Mexican beans, rice, tortillas, and what-not. Divided conversations. Pale, humorus attempt at blending. Back to work. Choking afternoon heat. Sweltering. Sweat-saturated. Thick and relentless. Pounds should be dropping off me daily... waiting for that to happen. Heat replaces the usual mental freedom. Mornings are better. Nearing the finish. One more hour. What? Run an errand?! A break from the heat... I'd love to! Jugs of water switched and delivered... Homeward bound. Hasta manana.

7/22...

I'm going to 7/22 again tonight. I'm looking forward to it. I'm sure it'll be awesome once again. Sorry you couldn't be here for it, Allie! I invited Erin from two doors down. She's my age and is home for the summer from college. I don't know her very well, but Marti has been bugging me to hang out with her, so I figured this would be something cool that we could do.

Other than that, this week has been a little on the boring side. The family is in Montana, so it's just me and Marti's parents at the house. Work has been slow for me so far this week, but it should pick up significantly tomorrow. It has been nice to get a chance to do some extra reading while the house is quiet though. When all nine of us are here it's a little hard to find a quiet corner at times!

I was trying to lay out a few minutes ago, but as soon as I got settled, it started raining. It appears to have stopped, so I might go try again. Later.

the Lord's day...

One thing (out of many) that I am enjoying this summer is the opportunity to spend practically all day on Sunday in church. During school I go to church in the mornings and I love it, but then the afternoons and evenings are filled with homework and studying. The necessary evils of college. But for four months I have the freedom to spend twice as much time per Sunday at church. Today was such a blessing. Nothing else to worry about except worshipping God... no school work, no group meetings, no work, nothing. It was a beautiful day.

new likes...

I think my new preference in cars is the Honda CRV. I see them all over the place here. And after driving Marti's Forerunner, I think I could definitely like that size car. But the new CRVs have really dorky looking tail lights. They're long and skinny and run from the top of the car down to the bumper. The older ones aren't like that. So in that respect, I like the old ones better. I still like the Honda Civic pretty well though, and wouldn't be at all disappointed with one of those!

I like singing in the choir at First Baptist Woodstock. When I came here I thought there was a chance it wouldn't be "up to par" with what I was used to, but it's pretty awesome. I'm enjoying it.

Lastly, I really like Canton quite a bit. It's being added to my list of potential places to live after college. Don't worry, though... I'm not completely sold on moving here just yet. I love St. Augustine way too much to decide this early. There's several factors I will have to weigh before making a decision, but I have a good year and a half to decide.

Well, that's all for now. I'm not sure why I posted this stuff... I just wanted something to write about! Stay tuned!

Phos Hilaron (Hail Gladdening Light)...

Hail Gladdening Light
Of His pure glory poured
Who is the Immortal Father, Heavenly Blest
Holiest Of Holies, Jesus Christ our Lord

Now we are come to the sun's hour of rest
The lights of evening 'round us shine
We hymn the Father, Son and Holy Spirit Divine

Worthiest art Thou, at all times to be sung
With undefiled tongue
Son of our God, Giver of life alone
Therefore, in all the world Thy glories Lord
Thine own

"As early as the 4th Century, Phos Hilaron (Hail Gladdening Light) was already considered ancient, being a mainstay of evening prayers in a tradition known as the lighting of the lamps. At that time in Jerusalem, a candle was kept perpetually burning in the empty tomb of Christ, its glow a symbol of the living light of Jesus. As Christians gathered to worship, the candle was brought forth from the tomb, it's bright, solitary flame calling the church to celebrate the Risen Lord. Phos Hilaron literally means 'hilarious light,' especially meaningful given that this hymn was probably sung in the catacombs by the earliest Church."

--from the Passion "Hymns" CD

*At the latest Passion concerts they do something similar to the lighting of the lamps while this hymn is read by the entire congregation. It's pretty incredible!

what i thought i wanted...
by Sara Groves

Tuxedo in the closet, gold band in a box / Two days from the alter she went and called the whole thing off / What he thought he wanted, what he got instead / Leaves him broken yet grateful // I passed understanding a long, long time ago / And the simple home of systems and answers we all know / What I thought I wanted, what I got instead / Leaves me broken and somehow peaceful // I keep wanting you to be fair / But that's not what you said / I want certain answers to these prayers / But that's not what you said // When I get to heaven I wanna go find Job / I want to ask a few hard questions, I wanna know what he know / About what it is he wanted and what he got instead / How to be broken yet faithful // What I thought I wanted / What I thought I wanted / What I thought I wanted / What I thought I wanted // Staring in the water like Aesop's foolish dog / I can't help but reflect on what it was I almost lost / What I thought I wanted, what I got instead / Leaves me broken and grateful // I'm broken and grateful / I want to be grateful, peaceful, thankful, faithful, grateful //

awesome...

I went to 7/22 last night at North Point Community Church. It was SO good. Louie Giglio spoke and their usual worship band led the music. I just couldn't get over how huge it was. Literally thousands of people my age meet there every Tuesday night, from far and wide, for the sole purpose of worshipping one God. Incredible. Many ministries that grow to outrageous proportions, in my opinion, lose their origional focus and become more hype than anything else. The ministries that have stemmed from North Point, however, (namely the Passion ministry, including David Crowder, Chris Tomlin, Charlie Hall, Louie Giglio, and others) are thoroughly annointed with the power of Christ, from everything I have seen of them. Louie definitely isn't all hype; he's a passionate and powerful communicator of the Word of God. When I got to 7/22, I was nearly ten minutes late due to a late start, rain, and a detour along the way. By the time I got into the auditorium, it was completely packed and people were already starting to line the walls. I found a decent spot on the staircase, and joined in with the worship that was already in progress. From my spot, I could see nearly everyone in the auditorium. At one point, I just had this incredible picture: I imagined every Christian wearing red, representing that they were covered with the blood of Christ. Out in public, you would see red scattered throughout a crowd, but in this room of thousands of people, it was an overwhelming sea of red. What an amazing thought! I know that size is not what matters in a ministry, but at the same time, I believe there is an awesome power in collective worship on such a huge scale. There's power in numbers; there's power in the Body when they're all together.

One thing I learned from Louie last night was based on John 8:31. The enemy may be perfectly happy for you to do things "for God" as long as you don't root and ground yourself in the Word of God, in Christ Himself. You must ABIDE in Him, which is to hold on and never let go. That is when we become TRUE followers of God, when we become His disciples.

That's all for now. Stay tuned. Peace out!

what luck...

In the two weeks that I've been here, I've had two cars die on me. First, the Suburban incident. Then, last night at like 10:20, my car died while I was driving home from church. You know how your parents always warn you about strangers on dark backroads, and to be careful if you ever have car trouble on one of those roads... well, just my luck, I broke down on a DARK country road, couldn't get hold of the Briants, and had no other option but to have strangers help me. Luckily, the people who stopped all were very nice. We called 911 and a cop came and helped me (a slightly cocky young flirt who definitely wanted to make his presence known, and definitely wanted me to know about his new sqad car!). Eventually, I got in touch with Marti, and a tow truck came for my car, so we were finally home by midnight. So, $344 later, my car is all better. Not to mention the $1.85 gas prices! How outrageous! Anyway, maybe I have all my car troubles out of the way and the rest of the summer will be just peachy. I do hope so.

On a better note, yesterday was our "fun day." One thing we did that I thought was really cool was we went to this all-organic grocery store called Harry's. When Marti was explaining it to me, I pictured a little produce market. Harry's is as big or bigger than an average grocery store, but it has way better stuff. Like half the store is the best fruits and veggies that I've ever seen. They have all kinds of cool stuff... way too much to explain. Then we got Cold Stone ice cream. (Can't be all healthy!) I had a blueberry-cheesecake milkshake. It was great! Last night Marti and I went to choir practice, and then I stayed afterward for the Wednesday night college thing. It's called "The Brink." Choir is awesome; The Brink is okay. It's a little more "youth-group-ish" than what I'm used to. I'll give it a few more tries. I plan to go to "7:22" next Tuesday at North Point. I'm sure that'll be awesome. I met a guy, Craig, (friend of the Briants) who goes there, so at least I'll know somebody. Anyway, that's all the exciting news for now. Stay tuned.

the furniture business...

I learned to stain today. I've been waxing up until this point. Staining is easy. Waxing isn't hard, but there's a lot less work involved in staining. I did a nice kitchen table. It was beautiful.

Nobody cares, do you? That's okay.

Not much else to report currently, except that church was awesome this week. Guy named Bryan taught in Sunday school and he was really good. The pastor's son-in-law spoke in church, and he was really good, too. I think I'm going to enjoy my 3 1/2 months there. Hopefully, I'll be able to go to "The Brink" tomorrow night, which is their Wednesday night college thing, similar to Fusion that I'm used to.

Just found out that Marti and I don't have to go into the shop tomorrow after all. We thought we would because it's a busy week, but we don't! Which means that we can go to the Bible study that meets in the neighborhood. Cool. Stay tuned.

on motherhood...

"Just when you think you've got it all together, somebody spills chocolate all over your shirt."

--Erin O'Donnel, radio phone interview yesterday

the georgia girl...

Life is good here in Canton (a small city right outside Atlanta, for those who don't know). I arrived here Wednesday, unloaded my car, and just chilled out for a while. That evening, I went to Ashlee's track meet (Krissy and Christina [and Allie], you'll be happy to know I'm living with runners!), and then to choir practice with Marti. Thursday I jumped right in to work. And it was a BUSY day. Marti and I were out of the house by 7:30 and worked till about 4:00 I think. Then there was all the running around for the evening, and then we had to come back and make dinner, and lug a huge dresser downstairs (two flights) for me to use while I'm here. Luckily, it was lightweight. The activity at this house doesn't stop till about 11:00 pm! Friday I hung out at the house while Marti met with a client. Friday night Rex and Marti were getting themselves all together to leave on Saturday to go to France on a mission trip. Yes, that's right, the two adults in the house left on a mission trip clear across the Atlantic Ocean. I'm the responsible adult over four kids for eight days. I do morning wake ups, daily errands, afternoon activities, and dinner. So far, it's been good. The only hindrance was that I drove the Suburban to church Sunday because we didn't all fit in any of the other vehicles, and when we were leaving church it wouldn't start. The battery was dead. And it was raining. But a nice man helped us, so all was well. So other than that, everything has been great. Not much else to say. More reports to come. Later.

the countdown has begun...

In slightly more than 32 hours, I will be leaving Jacksonville for Atlanta!! I'm super excited! I do have moments, however, where I'm like "what am I getting myself into?" but I'm positive I'm going to love it, so no worries. I think I'm mostly excited to be in a totally new environment for a few months. Besides, what could be cooler than living with good friends who I haven't seen in a long time and doing something that's "right up my alley" as a job. These few days between St. Augustine and Atlanta, however, are a bit crazy, trying to see everybody that I want to see before I head out. I have a feeling I'll be sending quite a few mass-emails while I'm gone... not because I don't care enough to write individual ones, but rather because there's like a million people I feel I need to keep in contact with, yet I will probably have limited internet time. So if you get one of those, don't feel jipped! Anyway, I'm off to get one of two remaining nights of sleep in my own bed. Later!

time for change...

FINALS ARE OVER!!! We had "dockside Fusion" at Jayce's beach house tonight. It was cool. We had a really good turnout too. My strawberry lemonade was a big hit! I had to say my goodbyes to everyone tonight since I won't see them for four months. I'm way excited about Atlanta, but I will definitely miss everybody in St.Augustine. I look forward to August as much as I look forward to next week. Change is good but tough at the same time.

Peace out, my friends.

supernatural...
(for allie!)

oh where is superman when you need a helping hand?
don't look for wonder woman when trouble's really coming
and please don't count on batman when danger you must face
I highly recommend God's supernatural grace

supernatural
Jesus walked on the water
supernatural
God made a sidewalk through the sea
supernatural
Jesus made instant wine
supernaturally

the rock...

there is a Rock
a solid Rock
a Rock we've built our lives upon
there is a Hope
a blessed Hope
and we now shout it to the world

(Allie, let me know if you remember the rest!)

hands...

we lift our hands in the sanctuary
we lift our hands to give You the glory
we lift our hands to give You the praise
and we will praise You for the rest of our days
we will praise You for the rest of our days

yes
yes, Lord, for the rest of our days

my Redeemer lives...

I know He rescued my soul
His blood has covered my sin
I believe; I believe

my shame He's taken away
my pain He's healed in His name
I believe; I believe

I'll raise the banner
'cause my Lord has conquered the grave!

my Redeemer lives
my Redeemer lives
my Redeemer lives
my Redeemer lives

You lift my burden
I'll rise with You
I'm dancing on this mountaintop
to see Your kingdom come

my Redeemer lives
my Redeemer lives
my Redeemer lives
my Redeemer lives

latest readings...

I really enjoyed Scott's post that I just read concerning the sacraments. I guess my friendship with Christina has really opened me up to things that I have never really considered before, so I had already done a lot of thinking on the topic before I read what Scott had to say. Compared to what it has become, my way of thinking two years ago seems so very closed-minded, legalistic, and judgemental. It blows me away to think about how much God has taught me since then. It only serves as a reminder that I will never "arrive" in my relationship to God. But that is not to be seen as a bad thing. Not at all. The fact that we can continue to grow closer and closer and closer to Him is so incredibly awesome. It is something that should be highly cherished every day of our lives.

worship the King, II...

O worship the King, all glorious above
and gratefully sing His wonderful love
our Shield and Defender, the Ancient of Days
pavillioned in splendor and girded with praise

worship the King...

we will worship the Lamb of Glory
we will worship the King of Kings
we will worship the Lamb of Glory
we will worship the King

and with our hands lifted high
we will worship and sing
with our hands lifted high
we come before You rejoicing
with our hands lifted high to the sky
when the world wonders why
we'll just tell them we're loving our King

the bride of Christ...

for His returning, we watch and we pray
we will be ready the dawn of that day

i can...

God sent His Son
they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive
He bled and died
to buy my pardon
an empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives!

because He lives, I can face tomorrow
because He lives, all fear is gone
because I know He holds the future
and life is worth the living just because He lives

Happy Easter! Hallelujah, the grave is empty! I know my Redeemer lives!

through a glass...

I was reading a post that Laci put up last night, and the quotes she posted reminded me of a verse I read this morning in my quiet time. (here's the quotes...)

The way out. To show the fly the way out of the bottle was the life's hope of Ludwig Wittenstein but the truth is that human beings don't want a way out of the bottle; we are captivated, enthralled by the interior of the bottle; its glassy sides caress and console us; its glassy sides are the perimeters of our experience and our aspiration; the bottle is our skin, our soul; we're accustomed to the visual distortions of the glass; we would not wish to see clearly, without the barrier of the glass; we could not breathe a fresher air; we could not survive outside the bottle.

Or tell ourselves, in the classy-echoing language of the bottle, that this is so.

--Joyce Carol Oates, from I'll Take You There ("Anellia") p. 190

To show the fly the way out of the bottle? Break the bottle

--Joyce Carol Oates, from I'll Take You There ("Anellia") p. 243

The verse is I Corinthians 13:12 "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

The "glass" in the verse technically refers to a mirror, but I think it works for my example, as well. Like the bottle, we have boundaries to what we know and experience. We can sort of see what's beyond our boundaries, but not really--not clearly. The stubborn ones, when told of what truly lies beyond the bottle, stick their fingers in their ears and yell, not wishing to know the truth. We would not wish to see clearly, without the barrier of the glass. They convince themselves that what they see through the glass is the true way things are.

So how do we see clearly? Break the bottle. The only time we will completely "get it" is when we're in heaven, face to face with God. We might get some little glimpse of what it's really all about while we're here, but like the verse says, we won't really know till we see Him. To know that what we're seeing is slightly (if not drastically) distorted is enough for now.

sing to the King...

sing to the King who is coming to reign
glory to Jesus, the Lamb that was slain
life and salvation His empire shall bring
and joy to the nations when Jesus is King

come, let us sing a song
a song declaring we belong to Jesus
and He is all we need
and lift up a heart of praise
sing now with voices raised to Jesus
sing to the King

for His returning, we watch and we pray
we will be ready the dawn of that day
and we'll join in singing with all the redeemed
'cause Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King

come, let us sing a song
a song declaring we belong to Jesus
and He is all we need
and lift up a heart of praise
sing now with voices raised to Jesus
sing to the King

pour me out...

pour me out like a drink offering
Lord, I come as a sacrifice
pour me out like a drink offering
Lord, I come to die

let there be nothing left
nothing left
let there be nothing left
nothing left
let me be filled and overflowing
with Your Holy Spirit, Lord
till there's nothing left but you

if they only knew what they were reaching for...

Some of us from church went down to Daytona Beach last night and handed out tracts to the spring-breakers and those attending the Audio show. Jessica came up with the design of the tracts based on something we had been given while in New York for New Year's, which Christina reminded her of a few days ago. Anyway, the tracts were really cool... they were postcard-sized and on the front just had a picture of a person running down the beach and said "I spent my spring break in Daytona Beach 2004." The back had the real message on it. It started by asking, "Do you know where you'll spend eternity?" and gave many other verses and statements/questions. What was cool about handing them out, especially at the audio show, was that people are more than willing to take something that's free. Several of the guys working the tables at the audio show even came up to us and asked to have some of the cards (probably not having any idea what the were). One guy, however, started to read the back of one and then asked if he could have some more to give to the guys working with him! How awesome! Something that Erica mentioned about an instance while we were walking back to our cars was really cool, too: we were handing out the cards to the people we passed as we walked along the sidewalk, and one guy reached for a card but missed it, so he had to do an extended reach before he actually got one. Erica later was like, "if he only knew what he was straining to reach, that would be so incredible." Indeed it would. That image stuck in my mind with extra meaning for the rest of the night. I saw this miscellaneous guy stretching with all his might toward something that he knew was worth having, yet not quite realizing that what he was truely reaching for was Christ. It's like the story of Paul in Acts where he goes to Athens and sees that they have an alter to "the unknown god." The people knew that there was "something more" that they needed and that deserved worship, but they didn't quite know what it was. That's the feeling I get when I think about that guy stretching to reach the card. Our vain attempts to reach God on our own. By His grace alone...

the best...

I've come to the conclusion that everyone should be an Elementary Education major because you get to make pinwheels and sundials in your college classes! So fun! But don't let that fool you into thinking that I don't do any "real" work... unlike most of my friends, I will be working through most of my (very short) spring break this week. Activity files, practicum hours, etc, etc, etc. Hopefully I can squeeze in a few beach hours... and hopefully the weather is nice... it's windy and a little chilly today. Okay, so this is a completely random and completely useless post, much to the contrary of its deceptive title. Anyway, maybe some worthwhile information will appear in days to come. Until then, pinwheels and sundials.

the way i see it...

"Always use good grammar. It's like wearing designer clothing. People may not like your style, but they will pay attention to the cut of your cloth."

"Never have a long conversation with anyone who says between you and I."

--(Tallulah) from Up from Jericho Tel by E.L. Konigsburg

i tried...

I tried to put up a link to Greg's blog, but it has not been working for me. After many attempts, I have decided to compromise with my computer and just put up a link in a post. So here you go... this is the link to my friend Greg's blog. Let's hope it works!

fascinated...

For the few who still read this, I thought I'd share some of the art that I am simply fascinated by that I have been able to admire here in St. Augustine. One of my favorite places here in town is a place called the Energy Lab. Go ahead, click on the link... they're pretty cool! I particularly like the work of Sean Farnum from that gallery. Also, their featured artist of the month is Andre'a Giovanni who seems to be on her way to photo-realist painting. Another artist that I have come to admire is Thomas Arvid, whose work can be seen here in St. Augustine at the Tripp Harrison Gallery, as well as here. Other artists from that same website that are also featured around town are Tripp Harrison, Simon Bull, and Cao Yong. Thomas Arvid is my personal favorite, though. I just can't get over how realistic his paintings are. Take a look at some of them... notice the reflections in the glass, the ripples and bubbles in the wine, and the awesome detail on the corks and wood. It loses a little of the impact when you only see it on the website, but in person the paintings are truely astonishing.

Anyway, that's all for now. Just felt like sharing one of my latest interests. Enjoy! (and comment if you're still reading my page! I feel so out of touch with everybody!)