picture day...

I love this picture. It's from Holly and Kyle's wedding. Dressing up is fun.



Here's me and Rob on our trip to visit Megan and Truman a while back. After taking lots of funny face pictures, we settled on the "normal" ones as our favorites. The others are a little scary!

life...

I've been engaged for a month, as of yesterday. It's fantastic. I've been coughing for a week straight as of today. It sucks. I think I'm finally coming out of it, as I haven't coughed nearly as much this afternoon, which is nice. Last night we had a banquet for Fusion leadership, and I came home immediately afterward and got in bed. I was in bed by 9pm! How crazy is that? And then, I slept straight through the night soundly (which I believe was direct answer to prayer), woke up to my alarm this morning, turned it off, crawled back in bed after switching the light on with the intention of only staying there a few more minutes, and then woke up at 7:30 and realized I was going to be late for work. So I slept for 10 1/2 hours straight. It was nice, although I could have done about three more. So I figured since I was going to be late for work anyway, and I had already called in to inform them of this, I might as well pick up Chick-fil-A for breakfast. It was tasty. Since then, the day has dragged by, but it's been bearable. I have just under two hours to go, at which time I intend to go home and get about two more hours of sleep before Rob is done at the church. Over the weekend while we were visiting Rob's family, Mrs.Barbi loaded us up on groceries because they are moving soon and she wanted to clean out her pantry. So that means Rob is cooking dinner tonight, which is great. There are few things in life better than someone else doing the cooking on a day that you really don't feel like it!

Speaking of last weekend, we were in Ft.Lauderdale for the first of our wedding showers (engagement party actually... same thing). Mrs.Barbara loves planning parties. She was most excited about the cake that she ordered. It was from a Cuban bakery, and it was beautiful. It was round and had hand-done lace icing on the top, with a fondant bow that made it look like an actual tied-up gift, complete with hang tag that read "Congratulations Rob and Megan."

She also ordered floral centerpieces and put together photos of Rob and myself to display. She's really great at thinking of little details like that. Anyway, it was all just really sweet. In attendance were Rob's grandparents and other members of their church who are practically family. Also, the Kirstens were able to come down from Orlando, which was really nice. All of them are such great people. I'm glad to be inheriting such a wonderful family.

That's really all the interesting news I have for now, aside from telling you that my doodles on the top of my notepad interestingly developed into a smiling caterpillar. Wish I could show you. Okay, that's all. Later.

consumeristic...

I'm feeling consumeristic today, as Marilyn would say. (That's the more appropriate term to what we generally call "materialistic.") My new want is a Nikon D50 digital SLR camera. I love my film SLR, but I've conceeded to the idea that I currently don't (and won't for a while) have the means or opportunity to do my own processing and developing, so I've started to cross over to the digital world. The hands-on aspect of film processing will always hold a special place in my heart, but without the opportunity to do that, film photography is less enticing because it would leave the final results of the photos up to the CVS developing. At least with digital, I have the opportunity to view and edit my photos before I print them. I have a digital camera now, and I have had a lot of fun using it, but there's so much more you can control with an SLR. Anyway, those are my random thoughts on photography and consumerism this morning. If you feel like donating to the "Meg wants an expensive new toy" fund, let me know! Just kidding. Later.

pass the tea please...

I feel like crap today. I've been coughing for the past few days, and today it has finally escalated into this old-man-with-emphazema-about-to-hack-up-a-lung thing. I think it's just my allergies that are causing it, but regardless, I'd really like for it to go away! Rob and I are headed to Ft. Lauderdale as soon as we get off work today for a weekend with his family, so I'm really hoping not to be miserable.

In other, more pertanent news, yesterday was a really good day for me, spiritually speaking. Lately I've been feeling like I haven't been getting quite as much out of my quiet times as I probably should. I've been reading, but it's like it just hasn't been connecting all the way. Then yesterday, I read, and it's not so much that I "got" any extra out of the actual passage, but rather that the passage reminded me of something that sent me off on a tangent of thought that I felt was quite beneficial. I got off on the idea of how our faith is supposed to be relational, not formulaic--an idea I had the opportunity to think a lot about while reading Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What a while back. This all started when I was remembering an incedent from high school where one of my teachers at my Independent-Baptist-run private school was insisting on the validity of a particular belief of hers, when in reality it was an issue that not only cannot be completely proven one way or the other, but also is an issue that doesn't really matter that much in the grand scheme of things. It just really got under my skin that she was so insistent upon something like this, rather than using that time more beneficially to express to her students the more significant issues. You know, like showing them the love of God, and all. But what do I know. Anyway, my point in saying all this is simply to tell you God used that tangent thought in a big way yesterday to speak to me about living my life in a way that exemplifies who He really is so that the people around me can see that, rather than getting wrapped up in our haughty Christian arguments about completely unconsequential details. And if I am to exemplify who He is through my life, that means I have to be getting to know more and more about Him through my personal relationship with Him. Last night at Fusion, pastor Walter spoke to us about sharing/living out our faith for those closest to us. His message seemed to tie in really closely with many of the things I had already been thinking about. And then, after he finished speaking, we were singing a song that really just completely grabbed me. It says "How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You? Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?" Relatively simple words, but they hit me in the face last night. It's not often that I cry during times of worship, but I definately did last night. I was at the sound booth, keeping track of the words on the projector screen, and I was just broken. (Luckily I managed to keep the words going though!) God was saying to me, "You have complete access to Me all the time. How can you experience My presence daily and not be changed by that? Do you think there's anything in life that could possibly be better than what I have already given you? You have to be moved before you can move others for Me." So those are my thoughts for now. Yesterday was good, and I'm looking forward to everything else God is getting ready to do. "He who began a good work in You will be faithful to complete it." I'm claiming that today.

hey! you're part of it...

Hello all! ("All" of course meaning the handfull of you who actually read this.) So life is totally and completely average these days. Aside from being engaged (which is awesome) and being busy with a bunch of little things, there's really nothing to speak of. Well, I guess that's actually pretty contradictory. I'm busy, so I guess that means there's lots to speak of. Rob and I are headed to Ft.Lauderdale this weekend for an engagement party with his family, which is exciting. We will, of course, sing in their church service on Sunday, as well. Ryan might even make the quick trip down from West Palm to sing with us, which would be cool. Easter is coming up, in connection with wich, we are planning a special Stations of the Cross evening for Fusion, which I think will be really good. Easter weekend itself will probably be spent with my family. Also that weekend, Rob and I will for the first time be able to see our furniture we ordered! (It was delivered to the parents' house for storage purposes.) And I'll get to stain the bedframe we bought, which I'm really excited about doing! (We might be able to get into the condo we want as early as May or June, which would mean I would move in, and we would be able to get everything settled there in plenty of time before the wedding.) The girls are throwing me a party at my house in a few weeks, so as to be able to have it before Erica moves. And then there's all the weddings! Holly and Kyle got married last Saturday; Rob's coworker gets married on May 13; the next day Rob's good friend Nate gets married and Rob's in the wedding; in June Rob is the best man in Damon's wedding; and then we get married in July. How crazy! I guess the summer is just a good time for weddings! I don't think I've ever been to so many weddings in one year, much less one season! That's all the big stuff that's coming up, I guess. Other than that, I'll just be working all summer and waiting for a teaching position. I'm satisfied doing what I'm doing for as long as I need to until the right job for me comes along; I just really hope that right job comes sooner rather than later. But God has totally blessed me with my current situation in so many ways, so I can't complain.

Anyway, just counting down the minutes left in the work day. Hope everyone is doing well. Grace and peace!

tourmented...

I am sick of hearing the sound of phones ringing. It's crazy today. (There's really no point to this post... it's just that I've started to write a post every day this week but haven't actually done it yet, so I felt I should.) What is funny about answering phones all day at work is that I find myself answering the phone at my house in my "work voice." For example: "I'm sorry, Krissy's not available at the moment. Would you like to leave a message for her?" Only after the words have left my mouth do I realize that that's probably a bit too formal for the occasion. Anyway, as I said, no real point here today. Hope everyone is doing well.

114 days till my wedding!

surprise...

So Jill Robshaw, friend from church who is currently in Austrailia, has recorded some music, and I had a link to her site on my list of music links. Today I was going through all the sites on my music list, because I honestly haven't looked at any of them (other than David Crowder) in a really long time, and when I got to the end of the list and clicked on Jill's, I was quite surprised to find a completely different "Jill Robshaw" website... not that she has updated it, it is a different Jill Robshaw. Some girl who gives health and beauty tips or something. So anyway, I'm taking that link off. Makes me wonder how common any given name is. There's some website where you can find that out, but I don't remember what it is. I know on mine and Rob's registry for Bed, Bath, and Beyond there are 5 of me but like 2 pages full of his name! It's kinda weird. Anyway, that's my random news of the day. Later.

dull...

It's a relatively average day here at the office, for me anyway... everyone else is busy. I'm used to having lots of down time, but today I have no wedding planning or furniture shopping to do online, so I'm growing bored quickly. I've been reading today to try to finish this book that has already taken much longer than expected, but after lunch my body hit "hibernation time." I can usually get over it if I keep myself occupied, but reading is one of those things that if you try to do it when you're already tired, it just makes you more tired. My blinks kept getting longer and my head was doing that sudden nod thing that happens when you are involuntarily falling asleep. I wish I could lay my head on folded arms on my desk like a kid playing "heads-up 7-up" and doze off for a few minutes, but that probably wouldn't be a good idea. Neither the clients nor the employers would probably be very fond of finding me in that state. I might search for a crossword puzzle or something to keep me occupied. (Clearly I have a very demanding job.) Writing this post is keeping me alert. I wish I had something pertanent to say so that I could keep writing. But this is about it. Nothing new. Nothing exciting. Just me fighting off the urdge for a post-lunch siesta.

authority...

I love in the gospels when it says that Jesus spoke "as one having authority." It's as if everyone knew just by the way He spoke the words that He really did have control over everything.

It's interesting to me how the demons knew before the disciples that Jesus was the Son of God. I mean, I guess they'd been around longer and all that, so they should know, but it's interesting that they are quicker to say "We know who You are" than the disciples are. And the demons just recognized Jesus for who He was, without having to have any proof or anything. They just knew it was Him. The disciples waited for evidence, even after the whole "He speaks as one having authority" thing. They doubted continuously. And they were the ones on His side! The demons --His enemies-- never doubted His identity.

Just something to think about. Read Luke 4:31-5:11 to see where I got these thoughts.

sparks fly...

I made sparks in the microwave at work this morning. It was exciting. Accidental, obviously, but exciting.

our wedding site...

I made a wedding site for me and Rob today! It was pretty fun! Here's a link to it. It's not totally complete yet, but you can check back later for updates. Peace!

surrender...

A huge theme recently, especially at College Weekend at church, has been the idea of surrender. I was just reading in Luke where Jesus was in the wilderness for 40 days fasting, and He was being tempted by Satan. First of all, the idea that Satan would try to tempt the Son of God Himself is such a strange concept to me. I mean, he knows Who He is and how powerful He is and that he is ultimately at His mercy. But regardless, the truth is that Jesus was tempted. And the way He withstood temptation was that He was completely surrendered to the will of His Father. We, being much, much smaller than Jesus, must follow His example of resisting temptation. The only way to do it is to surrender to the will of God. Our will, when left to ourselves, is evil. God's will is pure and holy and righteous. In order to be pleasing to God, in order to resist temptation of any kind, we MUST surrender to His good, pleasing, and perfect will. That's the only way.

it's official...



We're engaged! Yay!

random thought...

Things that annoy me: people who bathe in their perfume; people who assume the receptionist can solve (or help at all with) their legal problems.

half missing...

distance does not make the heart grow fonder... distance makes me feel like crap... makes me sick... makes me cry... lets the lies get into my head... lies that i recognize as lies... yet lies that are very convincing, all the same. distance makes me be with myself... think about myself... criticize myself... my faults... my lackings... my shortcomings. no one else criticizing... just me... just the lies... others telling me truth... proclaiming truth... speaking truth over me. cling on to the truth. forget the lies. banish the lies. claim the truth. make it real. make it tangible. make it a part of me. make it my identity. cling to Jesus. know His Truth. make that my identity. make that my source of strength. make that my strong tower. He is my Strong Tower. He is my Comfort. don't just be with myself... be with Him... sit with Him... talk to Him... know Him... get to know Him more. use this time... this free time... this unobligated time... this unscheduled time... this one week of time... this time that is almost over. quit being so selfish... so self-centered... so self-concerned. minister. love. listen. give. help. share. laugh. sing. dance. enjoy.

in honor of friday...

Because it's Friday, and it feels like the appropriate thing to do, here's another survey. Back in the day I would do the "Friday Five" but they stopped doing those, so this will do. Besides, this will keep me occupied much, much longer.

Have you ever....

Played Spin the Bottle? Not really
Toilet Paper someone's house? Also not really
Played Poker with money? No
Gone swimming in a white T-shirt? Not since I was a kid
been tickled so hard you couldn't talk? Yes.
like someone but never told them? Of course
went camping? Yes
had a crush on your brother's friend? No
walk in the rain without an umbrella? Yes
told a joke that Nobody thought was funny? I’m sure
been in a talent show? Yes
started laughing at someone's bedtime? What? That’s a dumb question.
worn something your mom didn't approve of? It wouldn’t be a mother-daughter relationship otherwise!
been to a nude beach? No
drank jack daniels? No
cursed in a church? No
been called a slut for kissing someone? No
burnt yourself with a curling iron/straightener? Yes
wanted to be a police officer? No
dumped someone? Um… no, not really
been hit on by someone too old? Yeah, old guys are creepy
wanted to be a model? No
bought lottery tickets? No
made out in a car? Yes
cried during a movie? Yes
wanted something you couldn't have? Of course
had sex on the beach? Definitely not
had the drink sex on the beach? No
seen someone shoplift? Not that I recall
hung up on someone? Only telemarketers
yelled at you pet? Probably
bought a thong when the cashier was a guy? No
tried to strip when drunk? Haha… no, but that sounds funny
gotten seasick? Not really
had a stalker? I don’t think so
played a prank on someone that had them really scared? No
been embarrassed by one of your family? For sure
felt bad about eating meat? No. at least not in the “I feel bad for the animals” sort of way. Maybe if I was feeling fat or something.
Protested? No
been to an island? Any island? Yes: Anastasia, Jekel, St. Simons, Amelia
been in love? ABSOLUTELY!
ate just because you were bored? More often than I want to admit.
looked at something everybody thought was ugly and said "aww"? I don’t know
Screamed in a library? No
Made out with a stranger? No
Been Dumped? Um… I guess
Wished a part of you was different? Of course… who doesn’t?
asked a guy to dance? Not really
laughed so hard you cried? Yes
went up to a complete stranger and started talking? Probably not
been sunburned? Yes
kicked a guy in the nuts for being a pervert? Hahaha! No, but I wish I could say yes!
threw up in school? Only once
received an anonymous love letter? Not that I recall
had to wear something you hated? Of course
been to a luau? A semi-luau. No roast pig or anything.
cursed in front of your parents? No
been in a commercial on tv? No, but I’ve been on tv.
watched a movie that made you miss your ex? Maybe shortly after a break-up or something. Definitely not any time recently.
been out of the country? Yes
been honked at by some guy when you were walking down the sidewalk? Of course… I live in St. Augustine.
won at pool? Heck no.
went to a party where you were the ony sober one? No (meaning I didn’t go to those parties… not that I wasn’t sober!)
went on a diet? Eh, not really.
been lost out to sea? No
tanned topless? No. I’m not a fan of those areas of my body getting sunburned, which they surely would.
been attacked by seagulls? No
been searched in an airport? No
been on a plane? Yes
been pants-ed? No, but I do always recommend that someone pants Mikie P.
thown a shoe at someone? Possibly
broke someone's heart? I don’t know. I turned down this guy I knew who was sort of fixated on me. I doubt he was really “heartbroken.”
sung in the shower? Yes
bought something way too expensive? I’m sure
done something really stupid that you still laugh about? Sure
been walked in on when you were dressing? Probably
ran out of a movie theatre because you were too scared of the movie? No
been kicked out of the mall? No
been mean to someone then instantly wanted to take it back? Definitely
fell off your roof? No. have I been on my roof? No.
pretended you were scared so you could cuddle up with someone? No, that’s far too girlie for me.
had a deer jump in front of your car? YES! It’s scary!
threatened someone with a water gun? Threatened? no

Can you....

Unwrap a starburst with your tongue? I’m not a starburst fan, so I’ve never tried, but I tied a cherry stem once.
Sing? Yes, or at least I like to think so.
open your eyes underwater? Yes
eat whatever you want and not have to worry? No
ice skate? No… I’m really terrible at it. And don’t try to tell me it’s just like rollerblading… definitely is not.
sing in front of a crowd? Yes
Whistle? A little… not very well
be a bitch at times? Yes. (I didn’t make up the questions, but if it’s going to ask, I’ll be honest.)
do thirty pull ups? Heck no.
walkin in really high heals? Yes… well, I don’t know that you’d call them “really” high, but they’re high heels, none the less.
eat super spicy foods? No
Skateboard? No
sleep with the lights on? Only if I am completely and utterly exhausted, or napping. Not on an average night.
Mulititask? Yes, usually
touch your nose with your tongue? no
fall asleep easily in the car? Only if I’m by myself in the back seat
Surf? No
fit in your locker? I’m not in high school, but I’m going to say no
do a split? No
taste the difference between pepsi and coke? Yes (but both being diet)

familiar

I'm reading You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers, (written in first person by Dave) and the friend in the book reminds me of Rob so much. (I've told him this. This won't be a surprise to him.) For those of you who know him, let me know if this doesn't capture Rob's personality!

Hand knew things like this, and knew how many guerrilla-killed gorillas there were each year in the Congo, and how many tons of cocaine were imported weekly from Colombia, how they did it and how pure it was, and how powerful, and who ran which cartel with the help of which U.S. agencies and for how long. And how Spinoza was actually autistic -- he'd read this recently but couldn't remember where -- but it was true! They'd studied DNA! -- and that Herbert Hoover liked little boys (this he was sure about, though it might have been McKinley, or J. Edgar), and that you could grow the bones of dwarfs by attaching external bone-growing devices that looked like Medieval torture instruments -- it worked! he would yell, he'd seen a documentary and one guy had grown almost a foot, though some dwarves objected, calling him some sort of Uncle Tom. . . . On and on, for twenty years I'd heard this shit, from first grade, when he claimed you'd get worms if you touched your penis (I used plastic baggies, to pee, till I was eight)--and always this mixture of the true, the almost-true and the apocryphal--he'd veer within this emporium of anecdote like an angry drunk, but all of his stories he stood steadfastly behind, never with a twinge of doubt or even allowances for your own. If you didn't kow these things, you were willfully ignorant but not without hope. He prefaced his fact spewals with "Well, you probably already know this, but the thing about zinc mining is..."

Whereas Dave in this circumstance seems annoyed by his friend's vast random knowledge, my feelings are usually closer to amazement than annoyance of Rob's random factoids, and his brain's iPod-like storage and retrieval abilities!

Just thought I'd share. Peace!

yes, it's me again...

As if anyone is going to read this, here's a survey.

This is The Guilty Game. Next to the questions, put your answers as either guilty or innocent. Guilty if you have, innocent if you haven't. Re-post and see what others have or have not done!

Given a hickey?: innocent i think

Singing in the shower?: guilty

Gotten a hickey?: innocent

Spit in someone's Drink?: innocent

Played with Barbie?:guilty!

Made someone cry?: guilty

Opened your Christmas presents early?: guilty... mostly i found them before they were wrapped though!

Lied to a friend?: guilty at some point, i'm sure

Broken a bone?: innocent

Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?: oh probably guilty, although i never kept count

Played a Computer game for more than 5 hours?: innocent

Ran through the sprinklers naked?: innocent

Went outside naked?: innocent (again, guys seem to enjoy these things more than girls, save maybe marilyn and niki)

Flashed somebody?: innocent

Mooned somebody?: innocent

Been on stage?: guilty

Been on stage naked or close to it?: definitely innocent

Fallen in love?: guilty :)

Been in a parade?: guilty... more times than I care to mention

Been in a school play?: guilty

Drank beer?: guilty

Gotten detention?: innocent

Been on a plane: guilty

Been on a cruise?: innocent sadly

Cheated on a test?: innocent

Broken into a house?: innocent

Gotten a tattoo?: innocent

Gotten piercings?: guilty. ears only. contemplated a tiny nose stud for like a year.

Gotten into a fist fight?: innocent, although i hit krissy regularly

Laughed so hard it hurt?: guilty (ask rob about his hypothetical gay hispanic housekeeper!)

Cried yourself to sleep?: guilty guilty

Cried in public?: guilty, although not often or recently

Lied to your parents?: i'm sure i'm guilty of that at some point

Skipped class?: guilty... don't have to worry about that any more!

Skydived: innocent

Gotten jealous: more guilty than i'm proud of

good things...

Yes, yes. This is, in fact, the third post in a single day. I know. Completely amazing. Anyway.

Nena is an aunt! Her sister-in-law gave birth this morning. Kenzie has entered the world, strong and healthy.

I set up AIM on my work computer today. (I use the term "work" loosely.) I can't even tell you the last time I used my screen name. Seconds after logging on, I got an IM from a name I didn't recognize. I ignored it at first, but when I got kicked off and logged back on and got a second message, I decided to figure out who it was. It was, in fact, my friend Florian from Germany who spent one year at my high school my senior year as a foreign exchange student! I was very surprised to hear from him, not knowing how he found my screen name or anything. Apparently, he and Quinn have kept in touch off and on, he found the link to my blog from Quinn's, and I guess got my screen name from my blog profile. I was really excited to hear from him! Not that we were terribly close when he was here -- we only had one class together -- it's just that he's one of those friends who I really never expected to hear from ever again. Anyway, it was just cool to talk to him.

I had leftover chicken strips and a biscuit from KFC for lunch. Wonderfully satisfying. And Diet Coke is such a wonderful invention. I'm not as addicted as Rob, but I'm definitely more accustom to drinking it on a daily basis than I used to be. I usually limit it to one or two a day. I definitely have the hook-up here at the office... while I sit here, getting paid to spend 9 hours a day on the internet, I also get to listen to Sirius radio. It's pretty cool. I love that it doesn't have commercials, like regular radio. My only complaint, like Lisa's next door to me, is that they seem to have a limited selection of songs they play on each station. Even when you switch frequently between the indie rock station and the two alternative rock stations, you still wind up hearing the same songs repeatedly. There are a bunch more stations, but those are the ones I prefer. I tend to leave mine on indie and Lisa leaves hers on alternative, so eventually, if you wander the offices enough, you hear it all. Luckily no one here listens to country. I might have to shoot them if they did. While I'm a fan of some bluegrass stuff, the general country music hurts my head to even think about for very long. I was disappointed with Sirius' Christian stations. Even the "Christian Rock" one doesn't really play the new, popular stuff. (okay, so this paragraph was long and completely random.)

When I started this post, I'm pretty sure I had one more thing to say, which had I remembered, would have replaced the above paragraph, but alas, I have forgotten. Se la vi. (I don't know if I spelled that right. That's my American phonics version of it anyway.) Later.

kindred spirits...

(Clearly I don't actually work very much at my job.) I just started reading You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers. Most writers that I enjoy all seem to be, to some degree, introverts. I guess they write to get out the dialogue in their heads -- like me. I stopped when I came to this line in the book today: "There are people who meet strangers and people, like me, who know only those they've known from birth." Read my previous post for the obvious connection.

working on it...

So here's the thing. I don't make friends well. I don't mean that in the "nobody likes me... guess I'll go eat worms" sort of way. I mean that I don't know how to build new close relationships that aren't already established. This comes easier for social people, or so it seems. I'm not social. I really have to work at being so at times. And when being social isn't the convenient thing to do, it's even harder. I'm in a position where my room mates and I get along, but I'm realistically in such a "different place" in my life than they are that it makes spending quality time with them difficult. When I'm able to be home, they're busy cramming for tests and finishing projects, which means we might be able to "spend time together" (be in the same room) but we're not really hanging out. When that's the case, I'd usually rather go hang out with Rob and the guys who have nothing else to do but hang out when there's not something on the schedule. This makes me seem distant from my room mates, which I realize and they resent at times. So then I think to myself that I need to find people (namely girls) who are in roughly the "same place" in life as I am who I can build closer relationships with. But the problem then becomes that those people are so dang busy that there isn't much time in their schedules where we can build those relationships. Nena and Holly, for example. Love, love, love both of them, but they are two of the most thinly stretched people I know already. Nena and I, luckily, seem to have a cool connection, despite the fact that we don't have much hang-out time. And Holly and I have really gotten closer since we became each other's prayer partners. I really enjoy the times she and have spent talking and praying together. Although there is a great deal of truth to my feelings of lacking close friends right now, I think part of it is also me being jealous of what the guys are able to have. Not a bad, viscious kind of jealous; just that I see what they have and realize how good it is and wish that I could have the same. They all are able to take lunch-time off on any given day of the week and eat together and have great conversations. None of us girls have that luxury. Holly's in Jacksonville for work, and she and Nena are teachers anyway, which means no off-site lunch ever. And I don't leave the office for lunch. And my girls at the house have school. So basically, that'll never happen. And then there's the fact that the guys seem to be able to spend all this time together in the evenings just hanging out. The guys who are still students I think just don't care about studying as much as my girls do, so that frees up some of their time! But other than that, Rob has the opportunity to live with Mike, who also isn't a student, so they don't have homework, so they get to sit around and play x-box. Now don't get me wrong, I have no interest whatsoever in playing x-box. That's not the point. I don't know what my point is anymore. I'm just rambling. I guess I'm just asking that God would ordain the appropriate friendships for me, and reveal to me what those friendships are. I know that developing close friendships is necessary for my mental and emotional health, and I know that if I don't work on that now, it will be much easier to neglect once I'm married. Marriage is something I am desperately looking forward to, but I also know that I need to keep the rest of my life in balance, as well. This seems to be harder for me than some people, so I'm doing my best to cover it in prayer and seek God's will in it. I covet your prayers, as well. Lift me up as you think of it. Thanks.

grace and peace

nearing march...

Well, as February draws to a close, life is going pretty well. God continuously provides for me (see last post) and I simply have nothing to complain about. Rob and I spent a very nice weekend in the Charlotte area of North Carolina visiting Megan and Truman, his sister and brother-in-law, who moved up there a few weeks ago from south Florida. Baby Scott is delightful, and Megan and Truman seem to have settled in nicely in their new place. We also got to spend some time with Rob's aunt and uncle (Connie and Keith) and his cousins Nathan and Matthew. They're such a great family. I really enjoy being around them, as well as the rest of the Stone family.

In other news, the new job is going well. It's relatively uneventful and brainless, but it's money. And the people are nice, as is the office. And I have my own office and computer, which, in combination with the fact that I have plenty of down time here, provides me with the opportunity to search for a new apartment and do wedding research, etc. (There's a wedding in the plans, for those who don't know.) Anyway, not much else to say today. I should be better at updating now with this job!

fell into my lap...

Hey everybody! I know I haven't written in ages, and I'm not even sure if anyone will read this, but at long last I actually have something to talk about, so here it is:

I have a great life. I pretty much always have. God has blessed me so much more than I could explain or even realize. The past several days have been, yet again, another testament to that. As most of you know, I've been subistute teaching for the past month-and-a-half. God has blessed me in that area by providing consistent work for me. Yesterday was the first day I didn't have work, other than when I took a sick day, since the first school day of January. As I have been trying to plan ahead for the summer, I have come to the realization that "summer" according to the school calendar is only 2 1/2 months long, and while I need a decent paying summer job, it would be hard to find one for such a short period of time. While having all of these facts in mind, I was really just leaving everything up to God and hadn't really taken much action in the way of finding a summer job. Then, on Monday night, Lisa came to Bible study with business cards of a lady who is an attourney who needs someone to work as a receptionist in her office. Of the roughly 20 ladies at Bible study, I was the only one who seemed even remotely interested, so I took a card and thought that this might be a good opportunity. Although I enjoy subbing and being in the classroom, it doesn't pay very well, so not only would it be more practical to take a different job now for pay reasons, it would also be easier to get a job now that I could keep through the summer, rather than finishing the school year and then looking for a two-month job. So after talking with Rob and some of my room mates to determine if this really was a good idea, I gave the lady a call yesterday and left a message. She returned my call this morning, and I met with her this afternoon. In about five minutes, I got the job and I start tomorrow! How crazy is that?! Benefits of this job over subbing: better pay; guaranteed full-time work; possible healthcare benefits! What a huge blessing! So I will still be trying to get a permanent teaching position for the fall, but in the event that that does not happen, I can stay at this job as long as I need to.

Other good things happened today, too, involving a surprisingly pleasant doctor's appointment, lunch with the girls, and simply having the day off. Life is good. God is dropping things in my lap, left and right. Things are definitely falling into place and all coming together. I am looking forward to what's in store!

music on the porch

For some reason, I really enjoy this picture. I'm not sure why. And for the record, no, that's not my left hand.

friday...

Regardless that I had Monday off this week, it still felt like Friday would never come. And now that it's here, it's been such a long day. It seems with my class that we alternate between good days and not-as-good days. There's hardly ever two bad days in a row, but there's also not usually two good days in a row. Yesterday was good. For whatever reason, I thought today might be the same, but it's been a little hectic. I know Fridays are generally a little crazy, but I was really hoping for a nice relaxing day. Oh well. I am planning on having a fantastic afternoon when I go home. And as for tomorrow, I'm not waking up for a very long time. Then, tomorrow evening, my baby niece Allison is having her first birthday party! Granted that whole concept is a little rediculous since one-year-olds aren't able to comprehend "birthday party" yet, but I'm still kind of excited about it anyway. I bought her a cute green plush frog. It's that super-soft vellure fabric. I like it a lot. I wanted to get her this elephant I saw, as I love elephants, but it was bigger than she is, so I opted for the frog. Anyway, gotta go. Later.

frigid...

I definitely had to scrape ice from my windshield this morning... and it was 53 degrees in my classroom when I walked in. Welcome to the Sunshine State!

very precious in the sight of God...

Tonight at ladies' Bible study we started our study of the book of Esther. It's one of those books of the Bible that reads like a novel, the story of someone's life, without necessarily blatenly laying out spiritual disciplines. For that reason, it's kind of cool in a way, because there's so many different things you can take from it. Tonight, from the first chapter, we talked a little about how we are called to respond to authority, and how that applies to us as women (among lots of other things). At the end, we talked about 1 Peter 3:3-4 which talks about not letting your beauty be merely about what's on the outside, "rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." What powerful scripture! A gentle and quiet spirit produces beauty that CAN'T be destroyed, that won't tarnish or fade or go away. And this is the beauty that is very precious in the sight of God. But being gentle and quiet doesn't mean silent. It doesn't mean you don't speak your heart. It's all about the approach. As I taught my kids all last week about Dr. Martin Luther King, a quote of his kept coming up that talked about how hate cannot combat hate, only love can. In the same way, when responding to anything, our response is more effective if done in love and gentleness than in rage.

There was a lot more we talked about tonight, such as how Queen Vashti (assuming her motives were right) refused to compromise on something she knew was wrong. You don't give up your integrity on a whim. You stand firm and do what you know is right, even when that choice may cost you a lot, even when the other option may be easier. You can't value the opinions of others more than integrity. You shouldn't pursue status at the cost of right living.

Those are my thoughts for now. Pursue a gentle and quiet spirit. God sees that as beautiful and precious.

encouraged...

Teaching is going well. Wednesday was one of those horrible days where I came home wondering why on earth I wanted to be a teacher, but ever since then things have been going really well. I had a wonderful compliment from the media specialist (librarian) this morning, saying that the class comes in much quieter and calmer with me than with their regular teacher. (As he said, Mr. Sherman has a very high noise threshhold.) I was glad to hear that because it makes me think I'm doing something right! The media specialist is such a nice older gentleman. He even volunteered to write a letter of recommendation for me! That's awefully nice.

This week I did a lot of things different in the class, and I'm glad to say it worked out well. And I think the kids are starting to adjust to the fact that I have different expectations of them than they are used to. Also, I'm learning to try different things. If what I "usually" do doesn't seem to be effective, I've been trying to find what works. It's usually little things, but they really do make a difference. I'm also getting used to what the "survival stage" of teaching feels like! It's not always fun, but you get through it eventually. I think starting off with my own class will be much smoother than taking over someone else's. Speaking of which, if you want something to pray for, pray that I can get a permanent teaching position for the fall. Whatever happens, I want what God has planned for me above all else. I know He has big things in store!

On a totally seperate note, I absolutely love living in downtown St. Augustine. Rob and I went on a walk Wednesday evening after my long day, to be away from people for a while, as I require lots of "recharge" time which I haven't gotten much of this week. Anyway, it was wonderful. I love this town. We strolled St. George Street for a bit, had some Kilwin's, and hung out at the park for a while. Where else would I have all that available to me in walking distance of my house? After we're married, Rob and I want to get an apartment downtown for a year or so, if we can find a place. There's lots of cool places, but being downtown, their prices are sometimes a little high. I'm sure it'll all work out, though.

Veronica's boyfriend Jeff is staying with us this week. He a nice guy. He made a really great dinner for all of us on Tuesday night for Marilyn's birthday. It's been nice getting to know him a little. I think he's here until Sunday morning.

Anyway, my kids are done in the computer lab now, so I have to finish up this post. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. (I love teaching... we get MLK Day off!) Later!

Marilyn was feeling old on her 20th birthday today (cry me a river), so we planned a special "you can't feel old after this" activity for her. We wrapped her in toilet paper and sent her running down the middle of our street singing Happy Birthday to herself in French at the top of her lungs. It was great. Krissy then burned the toilet paper uncomfortably close to my car.


running... 

Marilyn at 20 

fish weep about radient men...

Magnetic poetry rocks.

Anyway, for the real post, there's often times in my life when God "whispers" stuff to me, but I don't really realize that it's Him and not just me until He has a reason to speak a lot louder to me. The topic right now is 1 Corinthians 13. I kept thinking about it (as in the actual chapter) recently, but over the past several days I've been even more convicted about the actual issues discussed therein. Chapter 13 is "the love chapter." The huge, convicting part of it is the "love is not self-seeking" part. God keeps reminding me of how important it is to love people, and the whole "don't be selfish" part of that is the hardest part. Last Thursday night I gave a testimony at Fusion (to our group of 18) about how God's been teaching me that our lives as Christians and as Leaders can't be lived for ourselves. We have to live for Him primarily, and furthermore He calls us to live in a way that benifits others. We are called to look out for the best interest of others above and beyond living for our own pleasure. That's tough! I'm selfish! It's a battle against my nature to live for other people.

This weekend God kept speaking to me about chapter 13. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Serious stuff. I'm trying to learn.

caution: bumpy road...

My first two days of teaching went really well. Today, however, has been rough. I just feel like I've been yelling all day. (My kids are at the Library for now, so I'm taking a break to vent.) I think it mostly comes down to the fact that teachers with a loud voice rely upon their loud voice as their method of classroom management. If kids are too noisy, you speak louder than them to get their attention. I'm not loud. I have no desire to be loud. In my internship class, they were used to soft-spoen teachers, as neither Judy nor myself raised our voices often (and if we did, you knew someone was in big trouble). This class is used to a male teacher. Males, in general, have more volume than females. Not to say that Dave yells at his class, he is just able to speak loud enough to get their attention, even when they're noisy. And for that matter, he tolerates a lot more noise than I do. I'm a little frustrated because breaking their habits will be hard. I'm not sure how to get them used to paying attention to me without the yelling. Anyway, I have high hopes of this all working out one way or another, so I'll just have to wait and see, and do my best. For now though, I'm a little hoarse.

adventures in sepia tones

i will follow you into the dark...

Those who will be spending this week in Nashville for the Passion conference left early this morning. In light of that, and in light of it being Ryan's last Sunday in town, yesterday was filled with even more Ultimate Frisbee than usual. I skipped out on the afternoon game, but then found out that plans had been made to play a night game... at MIDNIGHT. So after making sure I wouldn't be the only girl (J.P. joined me), I decided to join in. The night games are really fun... we use Ryan's fiber-optic frisbee, and mark boundaries and teammates with glowsticks and glow-bracelets. We played 4-on-4 with really well matched teams. While it was a blast, injuries seem to be easier to come by when playing in the dark. Mikie P. took a hit to a rather low section of his abdomen... poor guy... but he was fine; I stopped one with my lip/chin, which resulted in my bottom teeth cutting the inside of my lip; J.P. took a hit to the side of her jaw; Jeff and Ryan collided and Jeff caught Ryan's knee in his throat. All this on a slightly unlevel field, in addition to the usual bumps and bruises. We wrapped up the last game around 2:00am just as it was starting to rain. I took a quick shower, dried my hair, and went to bed. Krissy got home from the Middle School trip around 4:00am, and as I discovered this morning, had lost her license and credit card, so she was up the rest of the night trying to fix everything as best she could so she could still catch her plane this morning to go to Passion. I drove her to the airport this morning, both of us unsure if she would actually be able to get on the plane, but everything worked out fine. Meanwhile, the Passion group (which includes Rob) left the church around 5:00am this morning. I didn't go this year because I start work tomorrow. I'll be teaching 2nd grade for six weeks at Hartley. I'm looking forward to it. I think it'll be good. More than just the six week position itself, I'm really looking forward to the possibility of this opening a door for a permanent position at Hartley. That's what I'm praying for! I have no idea if anything is even going to be available, but I hope it will be.

Anyway, that's all for now. Happy New Year to everyone. It's going to be a great year!

Happy Friday. Here's a picture.

christmas weekend...

seriously...

Merry Christmas, everyone! Hope the holiday was pleasant for you. Mine was nice. Rob and I have discussed several times lately how there's just not the same excitement anymore as there was when we were kids. The day comes and goes without much hoop-la. Which is fine. I sort of like the way it feels to have a less "commercialized" Christmas. Overall, we had a pleasant weekend in Jacksonville. I introduced Rob to Chamblin's Book Mine on Saturday, which was a big hit. He left with his very own copy of a Bartlett's book of quotations, which was a very exciting moment for him. He also purchased a gift for a friend of ours, as well as a copy of Mere Christianity for me, as I have been intending to read it for some time, and his copy is on loan, possibly never to be seen again. Saturday night was presents for the kids at Mom and Dad's house, followed by a trip to the Adams' residence to visit Allie. Rob and I exchanged our gifts that night, as well (I received a digital camera, hence the above picture). Sunday morning was blueberry muffins, church, presents with parents, and a big lunch. After being sent on our way with leftovers in tow, we stopped by the movie theater to watch whatever was playing. We spent the remainder of the evening back in St. Augustine at Rob's house hanging out with friends. Monday we hit the road again to Orlando to see Rob's family who were staying with their god-family. Today and tomorrow will be normal St. Augustine-only days (unless I decide to go to lunch with my mom tomorrow), but on Thursday we'll be going up to St. Simon's Island for Kathy and Todd's wedding. I actually don't mind being on the road so much, especially since I'm not working this week. I'd much rather do that than be bored all the time. Being here three days this week rather than five gives me enough time to do things I need to do but keeps me from running completely out of stuff to do, especially with none of the room mates home. Like today, for example... I needed to go buy this dress I saw at the store the other day, and I needed to buy some shoes to go with it. I got a great deal on the shoes... which makes me feel a little better about what I paid for the dress! Anyway, now I'm rambling. I'm gonna go. Later!

i have returned...

Well, the posts have been lacking because I spent last week in New Orleans. I went with a group from my church to do disaster relief stuff. It was intense, but a very good trip. We stayed at Metarie Baptist Church and worked with the Southern Baptist disaster relief organization.

Being in New Orleans and seeing the damage there is weird. I've lived in Florida my whole life, so I've seen my fair share of hurricane damage, but what you find in New Orleans is mostly flood damage, which is completely different. For miles and miles and miles, everything is completely deserted... homes, stores, everything. It's like a ghost town. Even cars have been abandoned everywhere. And for the most part, the damage isn't all that visible from the outside. It's just that everything had been flooded, so the insides of everything (houses, buildings, cars) are waterlogged and/or rotted out. Our first few days, we went into homes that had "minimal" flood damage, which means the water levels weren't very high and it was mostly clear water as opposed to really dirty water. But in these homes that had "minimal" damage we still ripped out all their floors, trim work, and the lower-half of their drywall. At least most of their possessions were salvaged. In the other homes we did, where the water levels had been much, much higher, everything they owned was completely destroyed. We went into those homes, often for the first time since the storm and flood, and literally threw out everything these people owned. Books, blankets, clothes, furniture, computers, televisions, appliances, kitchen utensils... everything. It was all destroyed. The furniture would literally crumble as we picked it up to carry it out of the house. And the mold. Everything was covered in mold. The smell was suffocating. (Needless to say, we worked with masks and gloves all week.) The worst of it all was when we came across containers that had been holding water for the past three months. If the containers had previously been empty, it wasn't too bad (bowls and cups on shelves, etc). But if the containers had other things in them as well, such as books in one case, three months of standing water only increased the "rotting" process, so the stench was increased. The only way to explain the smell of these containers is like a fish tank that hasn't been cleaned in a very, very long time, and the fish have possibly died in it also, and as you empty the water out and the sludge on the sides of the tank is revealed the smell hits you in the face and makes you want to puke. Worse still than these small containers were the refridgerators that had been lying on their side for three months, holding old food and flood water. The team always waited until a house was almost finished to even attempt doing anything with a fridge, but in both houses where they attempted to move one, the most putrid water and smell you have ever experienced came seeping out as soon as they moved it. These attempts were quickly abandoned.

Okay, so mostly I've rambled about how gross some of the stuff was. But realistically, the damage we saw was really sad. All week I kept dwelling on the fact that material possessions really just aren't important. The biggest thought I had was that I'm glad that we were able to do this stuff for the homeowners, because we don't have the same emotional attachment to the stuff that they would have. It would be way harder for them to throw away all their things. I don't know if that came out right, but it makes sense in my head.

*****

In other news, Rob and I have been together for a year and a month, as of yesterday. Amazing. This weekend we are spending Christmas Eve and Day with my family in Jacksonville, which should be a pretty good time. I'm nearly done with my Christmas shopping. I still have to get my mom's gift, and then I think I'm shopping a little with my mom tomorrow, after going to my dentist appointment. I'll actually make the trip to Jacksonville three times this week... today I'm riding with Kathy to pick up her wedding dress, tomorrow I have the dentist and shopping, and Rob and I will be back again on Saturday. At least it's not too much of a drive.

Anyway, now that you are up to date with random facts about my life, I'll go. Hope everyone has a great Wednesday. Later.

to do list revised...

I stole this from Niki. I like it. It's a list of things to do before you die. You highlight the ones you've done.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swim with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain(updated: I highlighted this one for Rob... I think this means mountain climbing with ropes and caribeeners etc., but he says a mountain in Georgia counts)
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula. (at least I think I did... I know we had one in my 8th-9th grade science class... his name was Esau because he was red and hairy)
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it.
09. Hugged a tree
(I didn't make this list... I don't know what happened to 10 & 11!)12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightening storm at sea (not at sea, but from an airplane)
14. Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars (do tents count?)
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon (well, not officially a "trip" but I've been in one)
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment (while teaching... while trying to scold a child... wasn't quite a "giggling fit" but close enough)
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse.
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can(updated)
35. Held a lamb (umm... Danny and Tina used to own a sheep... it smelled like urine all the time... I never held it.)
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run (maybe in elementary school)
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days (teaching feels that way sometimes)
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking(Rob says in front of my room-mates does count!)
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors ("IF I KNEW WHAT THAT WAS THEN I MIGHT" says Niki. I agree.)
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts (my internship... but I wasn't paid)
51. Taken care of someone who was ill
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip (somehow I missed this one the first time through)
59. Gone rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Gone sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench-pressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your CDs/DVDs
70. Pretended to be a superhero (I totally had a second-hand Wonder Woman costume when I was a kid!)
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude for pictures (no, although it would almost be worth the lie to say "yes" to see the reaction of people who read this!)
74. Gone scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better ("I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS QUESTION" says Niki... I don't either. )
84. Started a business (umm... I sold bracelets in elementary school!)
86. Toured ancient sites (Hello! I live in St.Augustine!)
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Had a sword fight
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie (no, but on tv)
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy (I would have to get his opinion!)
95. Gotten divorced
96. Eaten cold pizza (cold pizza for breakfast is the best!)
97. Gone without food for 5 days (HECK NO!)
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a talent contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice

Okay, so I have some work to do. But I guess that just means I can't die yet. Rob will be thrilled.

good morning, in the pm...

I had an algebra teacher in jr.high that would say "good afternoon" any time prior to noon and "good morning" any time past noon. I think she did it just to catch people off guard. She was pretty quirky. There was no point in me telling you that... I just felt like saying "good morning" and then realized it was nearly 6:00pm.

Random thought of the day: I hope the best but fear the worst for many of the people I've known in the past. I feel like that's pesimistic of me, but I've been proven right too many times to feel any differently.

all grown up...

There are various points in one's life that are somewhat defining as steps toward adulthood. Yesterday, mine was being a "big girl" and going to get a shot all by myself. Aside from when I was deathly ill over the summer, this is the only other time I've even had to go to the doctor by myself. The actual "going" isn't so bad, it's more everything leading up to going. Over the summer, it was figuring out which doctor I was allowed to go to in St.Augustine that was covered by my insurance, and then actually getting in to see him, and then finding out there was a problem with my insurance and having to make the necessary calls to figure all that stuff out, all while my tonsils were swelling to the size of ping-pong balls. Yesterday wasn't nearly as confusing. I just had to figure out the right office of the health department to go to. So I went and got my Tetanus shot (so I can go to New Orleans next week) by myself, and it wasn't that bad. But it is a Tetanus shot, which is known to make you sore, so my arm hurts a little today. It just feels like when you've pulled a muscle or something.

Speaking of New Orleans, I'm going there next week with a group from church to do some disaster relief stuff. Honestly, at first I wasn't that excited about it, but I just felt like I should go. Now I'm pretty excited about going. I went last year to Punta Gorda to do similar work, and that was a really good experience. I'm just hoping for more organization while we're there this time, which I think there's a pretty good chance of.

Anyway, that's all my news for now. Hope everyone has a great week! Grace and peace!

lacking...

I haven't been in the Word like I should lately, and I can feel it more now than I ever have before. There have been plenty of times in my life when I've gone without quiet times for given periods of time, but this time seems to be having the most effect. I guess it's good in a way. Not good that I'm out of the Word, but good that I'm feeling its importance by the void that is left without it. I read yesterdsay, and, as always, God was faithful to go above and beyond what I expected. There was a certain passage, the last among many, and when I got to it, it was like being in a dark house with heavy drapes on the windows, and when you pull back the drapes the sunlight comes pouring in. The light and warmth fill the room and change the entire atmosphere. "Wow," you say, as you stand in amazement of all that you had been missing when the drapes were closed. That's how I felt yesterday. That's how I want to feel every day. Yet it's so easy just to leave my Bible sitting there closed. All it takes is a little determination. I'm working on that. Pray for me. Grace and peace.

good times...

Thanksgiving weekend (closer to a week really) was wonderful. We hung out with the Stone family, relaxed a bunch, had early Christmas for me and Rob, and spent a day bumming around Orlando. All in all, a great time.

I spent today with the class that I'll sub for in January. It was a good day. And I'm getting paid for it! I think January will go really well. I'm quite looking forward to it.

That's all for now. Later.

off again...

Well, we're off again to South Florida for the holiday weekend. It has been requested that I join the females for shopping early Friday morning... my thought is that it has the nickname "Black Friday" for a reason! I'll try to get out of it, but if I can't I'll be a good sport and go. Anyway, I don't know if I'll post any while I'm in Ft.Lauderdale, so if not, I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoys family and friends and good food. Be safe! Later!

good weekend...

Nickle Creek is absolutely rediculously amazing. I want to be in a bluegrass band. I want an upright bass. Driving on a poorly-lit highway in the wee hours of morning in the rain, swerving to miss tipped-over barracade barrels is always good. Tolls are rediculous.

The Miami game was fun... but they lost. "Poodle on a stick" is pretty good.

Chai Frappaccino is a perfect way to start a morning. Singing with Rob is one of my favorite things to do. The entire Stone/Smith family (and various extensions thereof) is fabulous.

**Sorry for the lack of details. I need to hit the sack. If you're interested to know more, leave a question in the comments! G'night!

completed...

Yesterday was the last day of my internship. Today is the first day that my 18 second-graders are at school and I am not. It's kind of weird. Yesterday was a great day though. My kids were super sweet... some of them brought little presents for me. (We also celebrated one of the kid's birthdays yesterday, which involved Krispy Kream donughts! That alone made it a great day!) After lunch, when we came back in the room, Judy had the table set up with a huge basket of stuff for me, flowers from the class, and a platter of cupcakes that spelled out "We'll miss you Ms. Lee". There was also a book that Judy had put together of writings the kids had done. They each wrote a letter to principals who will interview me... "Principals you meet along the way" Liam told me. They all started off something like "Dear Principal, You should hire Ms. Lee because..." They were really sweet. It's awesome reading the reasons that second-graders come up with as to why I'd make a good teacher. I think my two favorites were (1) "If your eraser is bad, she'll give you a new one" and (2) "She'll let someone take you to the bathroom while you're on the playground if you need to go." Those cracked me up. The rest mostly revolved around helping with math facts and spelling and computers. The book was definitely my favorite gift. Although the EZ-grader that was in my basket-full of stuff is a pretty close second! I was also way excited that I got two Starbucks gift cards. Anyway, that's the end of my story. As of now, I am unemployed, but I should be set in a day or two for substituting. That'll be a day-to-day thing until January when I'll long-term-sub for 6 weeks. After that, I'm claiming the promise that God has a job in store for me and that I'll be hired to teach in August.

I'm looking forward to this weekend: Friday night is the Nickle Creek concert in Orlando. From there, Rob and I will drive the rest of the way to Ft.Lauderdale and spend the night at his parents'. Saturday is the Miami v. Georgia Tech game that we are going to. Sunday is mine and Rob's one-year anneversary, so we plan to spend the day at Islands of Adventure. All in all, it should be a great time.

That's all for now. Tune in next time for another episode of Meg's Life.

try it...

After being inspired by Rob, I made a quiz about myself for all of you to take. Marilyn recommended that I use this website, so here's the link. It should work... and the link should take you straight to my quiz. Give it a try!

meg's quiz

music fills the air...

This fall seems to be the time of concerts for me. Rob and I have many on our calender. We've already done Death Cab for Cutie on October 30, and Copeland on November 6. They were both really good! Death Cab was at the Hard Rock in Orlando, which is a nice large venue. We had lots of fun with Rob's friends from UCF. Copeland, which I've seen once before, was at The Social, also in Orlando. I really like The Social. Cool atmosphere. Ryan and "Bone" joined us that night. Earlier in the evening, we stopped in at Nate's engagement party (sorry, can't remember her name... I'm bad about that... and I've met her several times!). On the 18th Rob and I will see Nickle Creek, which I'm really very excited about. The Thursday night concert in Jacksonville was already sold out, so we'll be in Orlando on Friday yet again. That should be a really fun weekend... Friday is the concert, from where we will continue on to Ft.Lauderdale and spend the weekend. Sunday Rob and I will have our One Year anneversary and will hopefully be able to spend the day at Islands of Adventure. The final concert on our calender (for now) will be Allison Crause in December (is that how you spell her name?). After that, who knows. The "holiday season" will certainly be a busy one though.

That's all for now. I'm excited to say that I have tomorrow off! LONG WEEKEND!!

Later!

awesome...

I love this verse!

For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
Romans 8:3-4

years later...

So it seems it has been ages since I posted anything, and --my apologies to all-- even longer since I read anyone else's posts. So here's a quick update and then a survey thing that Rob did that I enjoyed.

My internship continues to go well. I really do love second grade. At this point I only have two weeks remaining. I will be glad to have the opportunity to attempt to get a job for which I will receive pay, but I will definitely miss my class when I leave. My big plan between November 15 and graduation on December 10 is to try to work as many substituting positions as I can. That's really all there is for me to do, as I can only officially apply for teaching positions after graduation. In January, however, I have a long-term subbing position lined up already. I will sub for slightly more than a month for a guy who teaches second grade at Hartley. I'm really excited and really grateful for that opportunity. I think it will be a good way for me to "get a foot in the door" with the principal there. I met her the other day and she seems nice, and I've heard really good things about her. In this county, you have to know people or be known by people to get a job, so if I have any hope, this is it. The position in January will prevent me from going to the Passion conference in Tennessee this year, but I'm okay with that. This is more important. Besides, I think Rob and I are planning a trip together for a little later in the spring.

All else in life is basically the same as ever. All is well, church is good, I love Rob, I'm always broke... you know, the usual. Speaking of church, Anastasia really is one of the biggest blessings in my life. I have the most incredible group of friends I could ever hope for; I'm constantly fed spiritually in everything we do with church; there's a sense of accountability among us. It's just really cool. Rob and I have been in the rotation of people who teach our Sunday school Bible study lately, which has been good. I think it's good for us, too, because not only are we being stretched by teaching, the opportunity itself also gives us a specific reason to be in the Word together. We're both in the Word seperately and share with each other about it, but when we have to plan for a Bible study lesson it's nice to read the same passage and talk about it in depth. It's cool how God always uses things to bless those who "do" it and those who "receive" it. Aside from Sunday school, we've been visiting Treaty Park weekly (every Sunday afternoon) with "the group" for Ultimate Frisbee. It really is a good time. There's not a competitive or athletic bone in my body, but surprisingly, I do enjoy playing quite a bit.

Last night we went on our annual camping trip. There was some mistake with the scheduling at Anastasia State Park however, so we wound up camping out on Charlee's sister's property. When I heard that idea, I was less than enthused about it, but we went, and it was actually really good. Good, but FREEZING COLD! I slept in the back of Ryan's car with four layers of clothes on and a massive blanket and I was still cold. But all in all, it was worth it.

Okay, that's really all I have to say on my own, so I will now fill out a survey.


10 years ago: 10 Years ago I was 12. I was in 6th grade, which was my first year at Trinity Christian Academy. Personality-wise, this was probably the weirdest year of my life! I was at a new school with a new group of friends, there were lots of cute boys, and, well, I was a 6th grade girl. I had a crush on Daniel Pride and probably made a fool of myself at least every other day because of it in one way or another (not sure that anyone else really ever noticed though).

5 years ago: I was 17 and a junior in high-school. I was on student council, so the big event of the year was planning the Jr./Sr. Banquet. That was a lot of fun. I had rediculously short hair, marched in the band, had braces (but got them off that year), joined VIP (our school choir), and was transitioning out of being best friends with Jessie. Spirit week for homecoming was way fun that year. I also tried out for All-State Choir and made the all-girls SSAA group. That was one of the most gratifying experiences of my life. I think I was pretty much between major crushes at the time, so no interesting notes there.

2 years ago: I was a junior at Flagler, although it was only my second year there. I dated Andrew for a very short time. I had the most diverse group of friends that I've ever had in all my life. I spent New Year's Eve in Times Square with my friends... awesome trip... we rode the train, which was a mistake; we house-hopped from night to night; we were really, officially ON OUR OWN in NYC! Transitioned groups of friends second semester. Was still living with Laci in the dorms, and Krissy and Erica were our suite-mates... the beginning of wonderful friendships.

1 year ago: I was 21, which means I drank for the first time in my life (yes, I really did wait for my 21st birthday). I was home from a summer in Canton, GA, and was finally living off-campus in a house. My interest in photography finally was awarded when I was at long-last able to take a photography class (both semesters). Rob and I had started hanging out, were clearly interested in each other, and would soon start dating (November 20th, to be exact). By the end of 2004 I had met Rob's family in South Florida, and they loved me, which was reassuring. In January I went to the Passion conference, which was amazing.

Yesterday: Was Friday. I went to work (internship) like usual. We actually had a pretty fun day because we got to do some fun activities in class that were a little out of the usual routine. I came home and took a nap before heading to our annual camping trip, which had to be relocated. I froze my butt off all night.

Snacks I enjoy: creamcicle ice cream from Veronica's store, cheese crackers, bananas, most everything else

What would I do with 100 Million Dollars? Tithe/give extra money to the church... it would be such a blessing to be in the position where I could give as much as I felt like giving without being held back by limited finances! I'd do something really special for both my grandmothers... I would say buy them new homes, but I don't think either of them really would want that, so I'd do something else really nice. I'd buy my parents a house on the water somewhere... my dad always wanted me to be a doctor or something so I could do that, so since I'm a teacher and won't ever be in that position otherwise, I'd use some of this money. I'd take my mom on a shopping spree. After the awesome wedding that Rob plans to pay for with his $100 Million, I'd take a freaking amazing honeymoon to some crazy-cool places in Europe or something. Oh, and I'd buy an upright bass!!! And after buying a sweet house for me and Rob, I'd make sure there was an amazing music room to play it in. (How far does $100 Million go? I'm sure I still have a ways...) I'd find some way to invest huge in the education system in a way that would make a direct impact on kids who need it most.

Top 5 places I would run away to?
Oh gosh... I don't know.
5. A suburb of Atlant: just a great place... near lots stuff I love
4. Tennessee: simply for the beauty of it
3. NYC: I'd like to try living there for a while
2. Chicago: I'd live in the museums!
1. London: I absolutely love that place!

5 things I would never wear:
5. men's underware (whitie-tighties... I'm not opposed to wearing boxers for sleeping in or whatever)
4. a thong... just not for me
3. a true mini-skirt
2. cowboy boots
1. a mu-mu (not sure how to spell it)

5 bad habits: (in no particular order)
5. getting too easily annoyed
4. being selfish
3. being lazy
2. not being considerate when speaking my mind
1. being a hypocrite in the little things

5 biggest joys: (again, no particular order)
5. church
4. Rob
3. St.Augustine
2. spirit-and-truth worship
1. Allison Harper Lee (my baby niece)

5 favorite toys: (currently)
5. Brett (my car)
4. Rob's digital camera
3. my poloroid camera
2. acrylic paint
1. (I can only think of four right now)

amazing...

The weather is so beautiful this week! I don't think it could be any more perfect! That's all I wanted to say today. I thoroughly encourage you to go outside and enjoy the perfection while you can... this is Florida: it won't last long!

quick post...

I promised a "to be continued" post, so here it is. Friday night Rob and I had a nice quiet dinner of enchiladas and wine, followed by the special outing, which was to Gypsy Comedy Club. It was really a lot of fun. I like birthdays, especially when I get the opportunity to do something for someone I love.

School is going well this week. Nothing terribly exciting to report. OH, OH... except for something really awesome, which has nothing to do with what I'm doing right now, but rather what I will be doing in the future. Judi, my supervisor who does my observations, knows a guy who teaches second grade at Hartley Elementary (south St.Augustine). He and his wife are adopting a little baby soon, and he will be taking off on paternal leave for January and February and will need a substitute. Judi recommended me, and it looks like it might work out! I'm taking my sub training class next Wednesday, so from that point on I will be a St.Johns county sub, which is good anyway, but if I can do this long-term sub job it will be really great. It will not only give me a good two months of experience, but also will give me an "in" with the principal at Hartley. Full-time positions are hard to come by in St.Johns county because of the number of applicants, so any kind of experience or connections you have are to your benefit. Also, Rob made a good point when he said that if I have that job for two months, I will be able to make enough money that I can afford not to work full time for a little while after that so I can go to interviews and what-not. Long-term sub positions make a little better money too, so that would be another plus. Anyway, I'm eager to see how this all turns out. It's looking very promising! I just think it's cool how good God is, because I just prayed about the job thing with the girls on Sunday, and on Tuesday morning I found out about this. How cool is that!

Okay, so that's all for now. I have things that need to be done! Later!

lately the weather has been so bipolar and consequently so have i...

The title is a Relient K quote that has been my theme this week. All the rain gets me in a weird mood. Luckily, I think the rain has ended, for now at least.

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Right now I'm in the computer lab at school watching Theresa's class while she has a meeting with Mrs.Stevens. Life is staying pretty busy. Posting is sort of last on the list of things to do.

Current News: Sunday is Rob's birthday. We're going out to celebrate tonight. I'm really excited, mostly because I get to surprise him. All I've told him is I'm making dinner, and then we're "going somewhere." It'll be a lot of fun! I'll report back after the fact to let you know what we did.

Allie's birthday is in a few weeks, as well. (Happy Birthday, Al!)

I spoke last night at Fusion. It was brief, but I said what I wanted to say, and I think it went pretty well. Rob mentioned afterward that he would have liked for me to say more, but it was really just one of those times where I didn't have anything else to say. I really think God wanted me to keep it simple last night. I'm not sure why, but I'm sure He had a purpose! (He knows what He's doing!) I used the song we sang as kids in church... "The wise man built his house upon the rock..."

... to be continued...

survey time!!!

10 favorites...
Favorite Color: Green
Favorite Food: Japanese
Favorite Song: Today, "The Luckiest"
Favorite Sport: eh
Favorite Season: late fall
Favorite Day Of The Week: Sunday or Friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: vanilla
Favorite Time Of Day: I love the time shortly after dawn but hate getting up for it.
Favorite Painting: "The Oxbow"... sadly, I no longer have my VisArt book, and I can't remember who painted it.
Favorite Place: the beach at night

9 Currents...
Current Mood: Relaxed
Current Taste: aftertaste of a stale cracker
Current Clothes: favorite jeans and R.B.Hunt Elementary T-shirt (it's Friday)
Current Desktop Picture: a macro-close-up of a white flower with water on its petals
Current Toenail Color: None
Current Time: 5:28pm
Current Surroundings: "the nook" at the house
Current Annoyance(s): personal lack of discipline
Current Thought: I love that Rob's thought was that he wants to take me to Chicago

8 Firsts...
First Best Friend: Allison Adams (still is!); also Melody Neal
First Kiss: Andrew
First Screen Name: meglee786
First Pet: Sweetpea and Cindy (they were both around when I was born)
First Piercing: ears
First Crush: either Colton from church or Josh from 1st grade... but Josh was a bigger deal!
First Music: Southern Gospel (my dad's music)
First Car: 1994 Nissan Sentra

7 Lasts...
Last Cigarette: never
Last Drink: any beverage: a Diet Coke after the kids left this afternoon; alcoholic: a sangria on my birthday last Friday
Last Car Ride: home from school, with a stop at Flagler
Last Kiss: Last night after Fusion
Last Movie Seen: can't even remember.
Last Phone Call: Rob about 10 minutes ago
Last CD Played: a mix CD from Rob from our 6 month anneversary

6 Have You Evers...
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: no
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes, but only by speeding and other minor traffic stuff
Have You Ever Been Arrested: no
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no
Have You Ever Been On TV: yes!
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: no

5 Things...
5 Things You're Wearing: watch, neclace, rings, favorite jeans, favorite underwear (I'm wearing other stuff, too, for the record)
5 Things You've Done Today: administered the final portion of a reading curriculum skills test, administered a spelling test, read a Johnny Appleseed book, made applesauce, felt like "the real teacher" (Judy's out of town)
5 Things You Can Hear Right Now: Marilyn's blender, my typing, the fan of my computer, Marilyn popping ice cubes from the trays, the AC
5 Things You Can't Live Without: ice water, sunglasses, blue pens, air conditioning, organization
5 Things You Do When You're Bored: organize, eat, drive, read blogs, sleep

4 Places You've Been...
1. Chicago
2. New York City
3. London
4. Paris

3 People You Can Tell (most) Anything...
1. God (I'm supposed to say that)
2. Allie
3. Rob

2 Choices...
1. Black or White: Black
2. Hot or Cold: Cold

1 Wish...
to always be joyful

scattered thoughts...

...feels like home...
"...there's something in your voice that makes my heart beat fast... hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life..."

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We had ladies' Bible study tonight, and at the end Kathy gave us a copy of something Mrs.Phyllis uses a lot. It's originally from this little pamphlet thing called "Not I but Christ." It lists some characteristics of certain sins that identify a "self life" or one that is focused on "me" instead of Christ. Some of the sins are a secret sense of pride, love of human praise, the stirrings of anger or impatience, self-will, carnal fear, a jealous disposition, a dishonest or deceitful disposition, unbelief, and selfishness. Each one is accompanied by a brief description. As I read through them, I was reminded, NOT for the first time, of how personal or private or even hidden most of my sins are. Many of the descriptions on this sheet used the word "secret" or referred to these sins being "a spirit of..." That's me. People look at me and see a good person. I'm definitely not saying that I never do things that affect other people... that's certainly not the case. But MOST of the things I struggle with are not things that other people can see. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. It was just on my mind tonight. I think it's just the whole idea that it doesn't matter how good people may think we are, what really matters is what is in our heart. This all reminded me of a quote from Girl Meets God, a book I read this summer. The author, Lauren, is speaking of her experience as a Jew in this passage:

And on Yom Kippur, people pray, corporately, for God's forgiveness. Part of the Yom Kippur liturgy is a long confession, Vidui, a long list of sins committed: bribery, slandery, lust, gossip, insolence, envy, theft. Once, a Jewish man went to his rabbi and asked, "Why am I confessing all these sins? I didn't commit half of them. I haven't stolen anything or bribed anyone or told lies." The rabbi looked at the man and said, "If you understood the glory and grandeur of God, you would realize you had committed each of these sins, every day of your life.

I think that sums up the reality of it. No matter how good we think we are, or how good other people think we are, we are still completely detestable in comparison to the holiness of God. He is so completely perfect. We are COMPLETELY imperfect. Like Kathy said tonight, partial disobedience is total disobedience. There's no middle ground. God is perfect and we are sinners. Period. I have to remind myself of that. Sometimes I let Satan tell me that if other people don't see my sin, then I'm fine. If it's not affecting someone else, then I'm fine. That's SUCH a LIE! What is awesome though is that we, as Christians, are no longer defined as "sinners." God changed our name and now we are His. He has made us holy, which is a complete contradiction in logic to everything I just said. Such dichotomy! We, sinners, can now be seen as holy by the perfectly holy Creator. Simply amazing!

That's all I have to say about that for tonight. I'm not even sure where that all came from! I guess it's just what God was speaking to me. That's not even what our Bible study was about! Anyway, just thought I'd share.

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I had an observation today at school. That's where my supervisor from Flagler comes to watch me teach a lesson and evaluates how I'm doing. This was my second one. My first one I really wasn't nervous about at all, and it went pretty well. This one, for whatever reason, I was kind of nervous about. It was a "bigger" lesson, so that may have been a factor, but I was nervous, none-the-less. Anyway, I taught the lesson, and it went well, although I'm never sure if other people feel the same way, so I was still a little apprehensive about hearing what my supervisor had to say. But she spoke with me after the lesson, and everything she said was just so encouraging. She complimented specific things about the lesson, as well as general things about me as a teacher, both of which were greatly appreciated. I was really put at ease by everything she said. What was cool was that some of the things she mentioned were things that I had consciously thought about and wondered if they were going well or if I was doing good enough, and she specifically pointed them out as things that were in fact going well. When that happens, I am very encouraged. It just seems like such confirmation that this is where I should be. So needless to say, it was a good morning.

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There's a verse that God has frequently and consistently brought to my mind over the past three years. I won't say too much about it now, as this post is growing in length, but here it is.
"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
This just reminds me that God knows the desires of our hearts, and He understands that our hearts are in pain when we have to wait for what we want. But the cool thing is that we get to experience such a huge blessing when the time comes for us to receive whatever it is that we are waiting for.

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I think I'm speaking the first Thursday of October at Fusion. We're meeting at the beach pavilion that night. My current idea for the message is based on the song we sang as kids in church... "the wise man built his house upon the rock... and the rains came tumbling down." If it all works out, it should be a lot of fun and hopefully a simple message that people will remember and learn from.

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So that's all for tonight. None of these thoughts are particularly connected in any way. That's how my brain was working today. Hope you enjoyed. Later.