Oct 4, 2003


"...their fingers catching, their hearts lacing,
her brown hair curling 'round pink and yellow wildflowers."

--the last two lines of "Pink and Yellow Wildflowers" by Terri L. Gamble, a fellow Flagler student (I'll post the whole poem another time)

Oct 3, 2003

Boy, what an exciting day... just kidding. So I woke up for class this morning (and I actually went to breakfast today) and in my psychology class there was this professor dude who wasn't our usual teacher. He was like, "Dr. Noboloff is unable to be here today, so I'm supposed to put in this video for you and you're supposed to stay till it's over." So we had to watch a 20 minute ANIMATED video about the effects of drugs on the human brain. It was honestly the worst thing I've ever had to sit through. I was really shocked that only one person left class since there was no professor and we didn't take roll. My second (and last) class of the day was fine. After that, I went to the 95 Cordova cafe and sat out on the patio balcony thingy and read some Plato. Lost focus after a while and started sketching random things on my paper. Got a phone call from Brenna. Read a little more. Walked down St. George Street a bit. Walked back to school. Read some more out in the gazebo, where some of the philosophy majors were sitting around with one of those Aborigonal Austrailian instrument thingies... you know, those long wood tube things that really only have one pitch, therefore I find them very boring... yeah, that was a little weird. Couldn't take Plato any more, so I finally came inside. Did a few random things for a while in the room. Took a much needed nap and slept through dinner. Krissy and I had Tang and pickles later! Yumm! Watched Krissy get ready for her date. Cooked some Romen and watched "Maid in Manhattan." That was my day.

Oct 2, 2003


I wonder how many times we misinterpret people's actions to mean something other than what they truely mean. I know I do it a lot. There's innumerable situations right now even where I wonder if a friend or I have misinterpreted things completely. Maybe we see a conversation taking place between other people and we try to make up what was being said and we somehow convince ourselves that that indeed was the actual conversation. Or maybe we hear a comment and make the false assumption that it was about ourselves. Or we simply misread people's reactions. Maybe they're just tired, but we assume something is wrong because they don't seem to be themselves. The list goes on and on. I guess I'm being taught that you shouldn't make assumptions about people's actions. You should gather the facts before forming your opinion. Know what's going on instead of just thinking you know. As Socrates would say, the wise man is not the one who says he knows, but the one who says he does not know.
One of my many favorite songs...

I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from?
My help comes from You, Maker of heaven, Creator of the earth.

Oh how I need You, Lord, You are my only hope, You are my only friend
So I will wait for You to come and rescue me, come and give me life... give me life.

Oct 1, 2003


Neon signs. Big, flashing neon signs. That's what we should have. They should be above every person's head, telling us things we need to know about them. Like "Sincere" or "Jerk" or "Fake" or "Honest." So often we're left to wonder and figure these things out on our own. So often this becomes a very difficult task. It would be so much simpler if we just knew. If it were just told to us. Then we could skip the figuring out stage and get right into getting to know the people we want to get to know. In a perfect world, we would just know. But alas, ours is not a world of perfection, so we are left to figure it all out.

Sep 30, 2003

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:8-9/NIV

Sep 29, 2003


Why am I so stubborn? Why don't I get it? God has told me -- has promised me -- that if I seek Him, everything else will just fall into place. Yet I seek my own desires instead of His, and nothing really works out! Tonight He reminded me that if I would just leave things up to Him, the things I want will fall into my lap before I even notice. "Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day" (Rainer Maria Rilke).

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."
Reach down, please touch my soul... I've given away pieces and it needs to be made whole... purge me in your healing flood... wash away the emptiness, fill me with your love... I want to taste of your mercy... I want to drink in your life... I want rest in your fullness... I want to run in your light... oh breathe in me... oh breathe in me... breath of life

-- "Breath of Life" by Among Thorns

Sep 28, 2003

"Painting Pictures of Egypt" by Sara Groves

I don't want to leave here;
I don't want to stay.
It feels like pinching to me either way.
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I've been.
They are calling out to me like a long lost friend.

It's not about losing faith;
It's not about trust.
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much.
And the place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live.
And it wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this.

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacked.
The future feels so hard
And I want to go back.
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned.
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned.

The past is so tangible;
I know it by heart.
Familiar things are never easy to discard.
I was dying for some freedom,
But now I hesitate to go,
I am caught between the promise
And the things I know. (chorus)

If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
For Krissy...

Don't you hate it when the last few bites of cereal will never get into your spoon and just keep floating around the bowl? I do.