Dec 30, 2004


Since I haven't officially written in a while, I guess I'll update everyone on current events in the life of Megan. Two weekends ago I went to Ft.Lauderdale with Rob for his parents' 25th wedding anneversary. It was a good trip. It was nice to meet everyone in the family and the people at the church where they grew up. Everyone was super nice and I look forward to seeing them again. Last week I didn't really do a whole lot, since I am without a job and not in school. I cooked dinner for Rob on Thursday night after going to the movies with him. I made chicken marsala... it was pretty good for a first attempt. Friday morning I went to Jacksonville for Christmas weekend. That afternoon Michael and Jeannie and their kids came over to do presents, so rather than leaving mine and mom and dad's few presents for Christmas morning, we just did them all together. After presents had been passed out to the "visiting" family members, I started on mine. My first gift was a tripod for my camera. I was very excited for that, and expected that to be my main present. The second one was a Rubik's cube... okay. I thought that was it for my presents; I wasn't expecting much since I hadn't asked for anything. I had forgotten one box however. My dad passed it to me, and I began opening it. It was filled with newspaper, so I was like oh it's probably a piece of jewelry or something small disguised in this big box. Not jewelry. Car keys. CAR KEYS!! Mom was like "What is it???" in her sarcastic I-already-know-what-it-is voice. I said "Keys... to something that's not here." "Are you sure?" she said. That's when I remembered that we now have a second garage behind the house. I threw on some shoes and we went marching out the back door. The garage door went up, the lights went on, and there it stood in all its glory: a beautiful electric blue 2004 Honda Civic. Upon inspection of the interior, my six-year-old nephew informed me that the car was "wicked awesome." "Yes, it is," I replied. If it weren't for the bitterly cold, wet weather we had that day (and the following), I would have taken the car out immediately, but the weather was just too gross. I've had plenty of opportunity to drive since then, so all is well. The car has since been named Bret.

That's about all my excitement thus far for Christmas break. Except that I got two cool new watches from Rob, along with the newest Relient K cd. Rob and I also went out with Greg and Laci on Monday and had a very nice time. Then, we had dinner with my parents on Thursday night, which was the first time Rob met them. It was nice. I think they're pleased. For New Year's Eve we didn't have too much excitement. Rob, Chris, Krissy, and I hung out. The guys had been watching the Miami/Florida game at dinner and came to pick us up at half-time, and we went to watch the second half at All-Stars. We then came back to our place to watch the ball drop. Krissy decided we needed to do a toast, but we didn't have anything for toasting. So she made us "Apple Cider Spritzers" with apple cider and Sprite. They weren't too bad. Today I'm doing laundry and packing because we leave at 4am to go to Nashville for the Passion confrence!!!!! I'm so excited! It's going to be awesome. The plan currently is that none of us (who are together) are going to sleep tonight; we're just staying up until 4am, rather than sleeping for a few hours and having to get up so rediculously early. We'll sleep on the long bus ride. I can't wait to get there!! Okay, that's about all. I'm headed out for some laundry. Later.

Dec 27, 2004

selections again...

~This or that~
219. beach/mountains: probably beach to live near and mountains to visit
220. Donuts/bagels: donuts
221. Day/night: both
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: what’s the difference?
223. Heaven/hell: heaven
224. Make love/have sex: let you know when i'm married... but at that point they're essentially the same aren't they?
225. Coffee/tea: tea
228. Britney/Christina: neither
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: both
230. Real World/Road Rules: neither
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: neither (common answer for questions concerning pop-culture)
232. Silver/gold: silver
233. Nike/Adidas: Adidas
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: Taco Bell
235. Sweet/sour: toss up
236. Punk/emo: definitely both
237. Hot/cold: cold
238. Winter/summer: winter
239. Spring/fall: fall
240. Operas/plays: toss up
241. Read/watch tv: neither :)
242. Cd's/tapes: cd
243. Dvd's/vhs: dvd
244. Old/new: depends
245. Shorts/skirts: "shorts are for 3rd graders" says niki
246. Pink/red: probably red, but i like pink too... just don't have as much of it
247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: black and white by all means
248. Meat/vegetables: chicken
249. Mexican food/chinese food: chinese, but it's close
250. Commercials/infomercials: commercials?
251. Scary movies/comedies: both, but currently scary
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: flip flops usually, but it's cold right now so tennis shoes
254. Dogs/cats: dogs
255. Unicorns/fairies: what? neither
256. Water/land: water
257. Sugar/spice: sugar
258. Black/white: black
259. ribbons/bows: ribbons?
260. Chicken/beef: chicken
261. Colored Christmas lights/white Christmas lights: white
262. Cars/trucks: cars... especially my new one!
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: Bond
264. Popcorn/pretzels: popcorn?
265. Hip/hop: what?
266. Passionate kiss/peck: both?
267. WWE wrestling/real wrestling: neither, except to be in support of my life-long friend Robbie Brown I'll say WWE
268. Back rub/foot massage: both :)
269. Picture frames/photo albums: frames, unless the album is done really well
270. Pens/pencils: pens

Dec 16, 2004


I just got back yesterday evening from our mission trip to Punta Gorda, FL, where we ministered to people who were victims of the hurricanes. We did a lot of door-to-door stuff letting people know about a food pantry that First Baptist of Punta Gorda has and asking them if we could pray for them in any way. We also did some work cleaning up a few yards that still had a lot of trees down. It was sort of weird seeing what life is like down there because as I told a few people already we had a hurricane four months ago and now it's over; they had a hurricane four months ago and are still dealing with it. Lots of houses and buildings are still without roofs, and hundreds of people lost their homes completely. The main neighborhood we worked in for the door-to-door canvasing was a place called FEMA City. It is basically a trailer park set up by the government for people who lost their homes in the hurricane. There were rows and rows of identical white mobile homes... 350 to be exact. And all on white dirt roads. The most steril outdoor environment I've ever seen. Most of those people just needed to see a smiling face and hear a kind word.

Second trip: I'm leaving town again tomorrow with Rob to go to the Ft.Lauderdale area. This weekend his parents are having a 25th wedding anneversary party. Actually, it's a surprise party for them. We're going down for that, and so I can meet more of his family. I'm very excited. It should be a really fun weekend.

So that's about it. Hopefully I'll write again somewhere around Monday. Peace out!

Dec 3, 2004

selections from a survey...

Have you ever been drunk?: no
taken drugs?: no
stolen? : probably
shoplifted?: yes, once when I was really young
tried to commit suicide? : no
Lied to a boyfriend or girlfriend? : not that I recall
gotten into a fight? : not really
Are you more innocent or guilty? : both
Would you date a drug addict? : no
Have you ever had to look after someone who was a drug addict? : no
Are you racist? : as much as I would love to say no, I think everybody treats people differently based on racial stereotypes, at least at first.
Have you been a hypocrite in the past?: I think everybody has. And for Christians, technically we are every time we sin.
Do you have an open or closed mind to other peoples beliefs and feelings? Depends on the situation, I guess. Generally open to feelings. I try to be open to beliefs as well.
Do you watch tons of tv? : no
How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months? : Not many. Like 2-3.
Do you listen to the radio often? : No. Always CDs.
Do you read the newspaper? : no
Do you read magazines? : not usually, but lately I’ve at least been skimming Relevant.
Are you a couch potato? : not at my house, but definitely at my parents house.
Do you use the internet too much? : sometimes
Favorite Book: And Then There Were None (also published as Ten Little Indians) by Agatha Christie
Whats your fave style of music?: I like lots of styles, but some days punk is my favorite:) Rob is introducing me to Emo… I seem to like it.
Do you play an instrument? : did play clarinet. I can still play, just haven’t done so in a while. I sorta miss playing with an orchestra or band.
Do you sing? : yeah
Who's your favorite male solo artist? David Crowder. I love that man. He’s just so fun and quirky, and has a good voice and fun style. Currently a little interested in Jack Johnson, courtesy of the 18-month-old that I baby-sit. She likes to dance to his music.
Why: I answered that already.
Who's your current favorite female solo artist? I’m a Nora Jones fan.
Why: she’s got a different style than almost any other singers. Nice mellow music.
Whats your fave band right now?: Postal Service
Why? : they’re new and fun, and they were personally recommended to me by a classmate, and Rob put some of their songs on my CDs.
Have you met them before? : um, no.
Ever had funny thoughts and laughed and no one understood you? yes
Whats the first thought that comes to your head when you hear these names?
Melissa : Bunk. good friend from jr.high/high school
Bob : bobclean. Screen name of Laci’s ex-boyfriend Rob.
Vanessa : character in a hypothetical story
Alyssa : Briant. One of my “siblings” from this summer.
Jess : roomie
Brian : pyromaniac
Charlie : Brown
Olivia : Cosby Show
Drew : female classmate of mine
Lily : purple plastic purse (children’s book)
Anita : Sowers
What's the first thought that comes to your head while hearing these words?
cheese : yum!
rubber : eraser
clothes : green
big : hug
dress : church
jacket : wearing more frequently now
polyester : yuck
kite : Let’s go fly a kite, up to the highest height. Etc.
washing : laundry
What is your favorite gum: Extra winterfresh
restaurant: CafĂ© 11, Chili’s, Olive Garden, Bunnery
drink: water, diet coke, cherry coke
season: fall
type of weather: right now, cool and nice
emotion: relaxed-comfortable-happiness. Like hanging out with a good friend and telling each other funny stories while chilling on the couch.
thing to do on a half day: go outside
late-night activity: walk on beach, cuddle on couch
city: St.Augustine
store: Target
When was the last time you...
cried: early September?
played a sport: couple weeks ago
laughed: a few minutes ago
hugged someone: last night
kissed someone: last night
felt depressed: not lately
felt overworked: eh, just a little busy with school these past few weeks
faked sick: either middle school or high school
lied: I don’t know. I probably repress the memories even when I do.
What was the last...
word you said: control
thing you ate: blueberry muffin
song you listened to: umm… whatever I woke up to this morning. I was too asleep to remember what it was.
thing you drank: water from the fountain in the hall
place you went: Rob’s house last night, or home or school, all in how you take the question
movie you saw: Polar Express
movie you rented: Nightmare Before Christmas
concert you attended: Charlie Hall
Who was the last person you...
hugged: Rob
cried over: a good friend with some serious issues
kissed: take a guess…
danced with: Rob
shared a secret with: umm… the girls, if it counts as a secret. Rob told me a "secret" last night at dinner :)
had a sleepover with: Lisa for her 25th birthday!
called: Rob
went to a movie with: Rob (recurring theme)
saw: Marcie
were angry with: don’t remember
couldn't take your eyes off of: who do you think…
obsessed over: ?
Have you ever...
partied 'til the sun came up: maybe once
had a movie marathon: sort of
gone too far on a dare: I’m not much for dares
spun until you were immensely dizzy: I'm sure
One of my posts disappeared when I put up my last one. If anybody cares, it just said to check out the new links for Jess, Krissy, Rob, and Niki's sites.
a good night...

big embrace after good day. dinner, no wallet. rent movie. special song with piano and embrace. movie--pretend to watch but eyes close. one holds other, head on chest, arms wrapped, hands linked. hearts at peace. momentary sleep slips in. credits roll, eyes open. lips press. and again. cheek to cheek. comfort. "okay, i'm leaving now." mm-hmm. back-scratching during Lenno. long hug, short kisses. lingering glance from door. engine starts, headlights on, pull away.

a good night.

Dec 1, 2004

a quiz to see what you know...

Here's a quiz Greg sent me today. Read the questions and write down your answers to see how observant you are. The answers are at the end but DON'T CHEAT! Also, you cannot look at the items mentioned in the questions to help you answer. After the answers, I'll tell you how I scored.

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don'tknow)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colours are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
12. How many channelson a VHF TV dial?
13. On which side of a wo men's blouse are the buttons?
14. Which way do fans rotate?
15. What is on the back of a Canadian dime?
16. How many sides does a stop sign have?
17. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
18. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
19. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
20. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy,Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
21. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
22. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
23. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord to slide them up anddown?
24. On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?
25. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear nodigits?
26. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
27. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

ANSWERS 1. Bottom 2.
50 3. Right 4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, & gold 5. 1, 0 ! 6.
Right 7. 20 8. Red 9. 88 10. Clockwise (north of the equator) 11. Towards
bottom right 12. 12 (no#1) 13. Left 14. Clockwise as you look at it 15. The
Bluenose (sailboat) 16. 8 17. Left 18. 5 19. 6 20. Bashful 21. 8 22. Ace of
spades 23. Left 24. Loon 25. *, # 26. 3 27. counter-clockwise

I got 20 correct. I missed #4 yellow and blue; #7 I said 15 matches instead of 20... I'm not a smoker; #12 I had no idea about the tv channels; #14 I said fans go counter-clockwise because mine does... technically, the answer should say that ceiling fans can go either direction... there's a little switch where you can reverse the direction; #15 I had no idea about Canadian coins; #23 the cord on the blinds... i couldn't remember which side was the usual side b/c one set of blinds at my mom's house is purposely reversed; #24 Canadian money again... what is a loon anyway? That's it. Tell me how many you get correct.

Nov 24, 2004

another survey...

What color is most reflective of you? green
How did you get the idea for your diary name? mine just says meg... i think that's pretty self-explanatory
What time were you born? 7a.m.ish i think
What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing? "I am Yours" by Casting Crowns (I think that's the name of it)
Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? no
Do you want a baby? yes, but not today
What does your mom do for a living? she's a mom... lots of work, no pay
What does your dad do for a living? Refrigeration Mechanic
What color are your bedsheets? pale yellow, the other set is white
What are the last 3 digits of your phone number? 388
What was the last movie you saw? Polar Express in the theater, Antwon Fisher last night
Who do you dislike most at this moment? can't think of anybody
What food are you craving right now? something from the Bunnery
Did you dream last night? not that i remember, but i'm sure i did
What was the last tv show you watched? can't remember the last time i watched a tv show... except for Friends dvd at Rob's house
What is your fave piece of jewelry? if the question is what type, i'd say watches... but my specific favorite piece is my silver cross neclace
What is to the left of you? window
What was the last thing you ate? slice of cold pizza
Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? currently i'd have to say rob... next in line would be luis... one that i've known the longest would have to be Robbie Brown but we're not as close these days as we should be
Where is your significant other right now? at work
Do you have a crush? Yeah
What is his name? rob :)
What shampoo do you use? Nexxus Xoil... but i just ran out, so until i get more i'm using Garnier Fructis
When was the last time you cut your hair? August. I hope to get a trim soon.
Are you on any meds? no, but i'm a frequent user of allergy med
Do you have a mental disease? i don't think so
What shirt are you wearing? my green "relay" Tee
What time is it? 1:25pm
What color is your razor? silver and black
What is your fave frozen treat? smoothies. orange julius is definitely a good option too.
Are you sexy? i'd rather leave it at "cute" or maybe even "pretty" but that's for others to determine
Whats your favorite shopping store? food: Publix. clothes: target.
Are you thirsty? a little
Could you imagine yourself ever getting married? I can't imagine not getting married :)
What's on your bedside table? No bedside table
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? leftovers
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? Patch Adams, Notting Hill (probably my favorite movie, to answer the question from a few surveys ago)
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? probably a tummy-tuck, but i don't think i'll ever choose to have surgery
What is your biggest fear? not being able to have kids
What feature are you most insecure about? my body
Do you ever have to beg? For what? no, except when i go to the store with my mom and want her to pay for something for me
Are you a pyromaniac? not really
Do you have too many love interests? I am lucky to have one :)
Do you know anyone famous? Jesus. (good answer, rob)
Describe your bed: Comfortable
Spontaneous or planned? planned
Do you know how to play poker? Yes, but not well
What do you carry with you at all times? Keys. if going to school, backpack w/ keys and cell in it (in addition to school stuff). if going out to most other places, purse w/ keys, cell, wallet, sunglasses, etc. if walking around town, just keys.
How do you drive? pretty well
What do you miss most about being little? no responsibility
Are you happy with your given name? yes. quite happy, actually.
How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one
year? a lot. unless everybody else had to give it up too, then it wouldn't be that big of a deal.
What color is your bedroom? st.aug: white. jax: light blue.
Have you ever been in a play? yes
Who are your best friends? Allie, Krissy, Laci
Do you talk a lot? not really
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? for the most part
Do you think you're cute? sure
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? most days

Nov 22, 2004

so happy...

The past seven days have been possibly the best week of my entire life!


Nov 19, 2004

fall in love with the 80s...

(title as tribute to Relient-K) I am soooo excited about tonight! We're having an "80s dancd party" for Jess as her going away party. Everyone is coming fully-decked-out in their finest 80s paraphernalia. So far, I've seen Krissy's and Jess' outfits and heard about Amy's, Kara's, and Derek's. I can't wait to see Derek's... it sounds awesome! Mine is still incomplete, as I still need a really brightly colored shirt and hopefully some tights and fold-down or scrunch socks. There will be plenty of thrift store shopping this afternoon, however, so never fear. I will be taking Erica to some places around town in search of the perfect ensemble for her, so there's always potential of stumbling across just the right shirt at that time. And if that is unfruitful, I am certain I will have success when Rob and I make the trip to the Jacksonville thirift stores. Rob is in need of some Miami-Vice-style polyester. I'm thinking that will be relatively easy to find.

Tomorrow is Nights of Lights. I'm SOOOOO EXCITED!!!! No one really knows why it's so exciting to see a bunch of little tiny lights turned on, but it really is. I can't wait. I have to work on a huge project all morning, however, so the evening will be a wonderful relief.

Sunday is the St. Johns County Fair, which "The EDGE Band" is playing at, so I'm a part of that. I haven't been to the fair in I don't know how long. I'm really looking forward to it.

Well, that's all my news for now. It should be a very nice weekend for me. I hope it is for you, as well! Later!

Nov 15, 2004


it's an interesting thing... especially when it's something that you want to happen... and especially if you feel confident that it will happen... then you're left to wonder if you're right... and even if you are right, you're left to wonder when and how... and if it'll be what you expect... you hope it'll be what you expect... you really hope that, for obvious reasons... 'cause you don't want to be disappointed... things have been known to disappoint you in the past... but eventually something has to work out, right?... i mean, eventually you will come across the one true 'right answer'... but there's never really any way to know if the next one is it... but you tell yourself that you feel like this could be it... does that mean anything?... or is it something we feel before every next possible answer?... who knows... who really knows... all i know is anticipation is an interesting thing... and i want this to happen... and i hope it works...

Nov 12, 2004


I'd like to correct myself on my method of eating Oreos: I twist them apart, eat the "blank" side, and then eat the side with the cream. I had Oreos yesterday and ate them this way without even thinking about it, and then realized I always eat them this way. So I thought it only proper to make this necessary correction. For the record, however, I did happen to eat a peanut butter cup yesterday, as well, and I was correct about my method of peanut butter cup consumption.

That's all I have to say for now. I know you're glad you took the time to read this today!

Nov 11, 2004

latest events...

Well, last night I got three hours of sleep. Actually, slightly less. I had no other option but to wake up and go to my 8:00 class because that was the main one that I had to turn in work for. So I went, and we got out early, so I came home for a nap with the specific intention of sleeping through my 9:30 class and returning to school for my 11:00 class. And that is exactly what I did. And it was terrific. (I would have skipped my 11:00 as well, but I needed the time to do work... that's my Instructional Design class in the Mac lab.) After ID class, I went to photography, where I had a quiz that I'm not really sure how well I did on, followed by me giving a presentation on photographer Keith Carter. The presentation went well. I like the presentations in that class because they're so laid-back (like my teacher) and there's no real rules as to what you have to do. All he wants is for us to inform everyone else of what we have learned about our specific photographer. You would think that with so few "requirements," the presentations would be half-hearted and utterly crappy, but honestly, I think people do better without so many boundaries and parameters. Makes me question conventional teaching methods. We actually had an improptu conversation about this same general topic in my 8:00 class. Very interesting.

So that was school. Then, I got beat by Alex in chess. Alex is in fourth grade. I felt very humbled. For a kid who hates to "work," he sure is smart. It wasn't chance that he won; he totally had a strategy going. I don't do strategies. My brain doesn't work that way. I'm just like, "oh, I'll move this pawn here... and this knight here..." Anyway, I suppose he did have a bit of an advantage because he plays chess on the computer frequently, and I haven't played in years.

Later in the evening, I opted (with the support of two of my roomies) to skip my practicum at the tech center. Long story short, I'm supposed to have 20 hours done this semester, I currently have 0 (mostly the fault of Flagler)... I was going to start my practicum tonight and continue going for the remaining Thursday nights of this semester because Thursdays are my ONLY free nights... but when it came time for me to go tonight, I debated its worth because I also had to write my internship application essay, and as I reasoned, it really makes no difference if I have 6 or 8 hours of the 20 done at the end of the semester. With Christina's (and Krissy's) confident support, I decided to stay home and write my essay. So my essay is done and will be turned in tomorrow morning, and I will soon know if I will be interning at the school I chose. I'm anxious to find that out.

So that is all for now. I think I have written plenty for one day. Buenos noches.
at last...

Finally, a slight reprieve from the chaos! I have completed all the work I am able to complete today. My remaining three assignments (none of which are due immediately) require resources that are not available to me tonight: photography project requires natural light, language analysis requires tomorrow's observation, and instructional design project requires the Mac lab at school and I'm simply not going there at 9pm. So, rather than sitting on my bum and making a total waste of my time, I have decided to post the info I promised to Allie. So without further ado Allison, this is what I spoke on at Fusion two weeks ago.

Good v. Best... choosing to wait

"The good often becomes the enemy of the best in life." (Lady in Waiting)

In our lives we have millions of choices and it is often important that we choose what is BEST rather than settling for what is simply GOOD.

In the field of Psychology, studies have been done involving children and marshmallows. In these studies, a child is placed in a room with a marshmallow on a plate. The child is told that the adult (the researcher) is going to leave the room for a while and if the child DOES NOT eat the marshmallow, he will be rewarded with a second marshmallow when the adult returns and will be allowed to eat both of them. However, if the child eats the first marshmallow, he will not receive a second one. In the child's eyes, one marshmallow is good but two is best. The determining factor is if they can WAIT.

In the book of I Samuel, there are two examples of people who had the option of choosing what seemed good or waiting for what was best. The first is Saul. In chapter 13, Saul was king over Israel, and one of his commanding officers had killed the Philistine governor. In response, the Philistines planned to attack the Israelites. Saul gathered his troops and prepared for battle. When they saw that they were greatly outnumbered by the Philistines, they scattered and took cover. Saul was told to wait for seven days and the priest Samuel would come make offerings to God on their behalf to bring God's blessing on them during this battle. The seventh day came, and there seemed to be no sign of Samuel. Saul decided that offerings needed to be made whether the priest was there or not, so he took it upon himself to perform the offerings. [THIS WAS NOT HIS JOB! HE HAD NO BUSINESS DOING THAT!] Only priests were allowed to perform the offerings. Samuel arrived just as Saul was completing the offerings and condemned him for his actions. Saul's misguided choice to do what he thought seemed good (or good enough) caused him to lose favor with God rather than gain it. He chose not to wait on what was best, but to settle for what seemed good.

Second story: In chapter 1 of I Samuel is the story of Hannah. Hannah was married to a man named Elkanah. Elkanah also had another wife named Peninnah because at the time it was very common for men to have more than one wife. Peninnah had children; Hannah did not. At the time, a woman's worth was determined by her children. For many years Hannah waited and prayed for a child. Peninnah tourmented and taunted her for not having any. In their culture, it would have been completely acceptible for Hannah to have given her maid to her husband and had a child by another woman, but Hannah chose not to do that. She knew that God had put it in her heart to have children, so she continued to wait. At one point in her life, she was at the temple praying. She was very upset and the priest approached her because he thought she was drunk. She explained that she wasn't, that she was just pouring her heart out to God. The priest, realizing her sinceriety, blessed her and told her to go in peace. Shortly after, the answer to her many years of prayer came, and she had a son. In Hannah's situation, it may have seemed good at some points to have a child by another woman, but Hannah held out for what was best--what God had planned for her.

In our lives, sometimes we know what we're waiting for, like the kid with the marshmallow... he knew he was waiting for a second marshmallow. But more often, we DON'T know what is coming... like Saul and Hannah. They were NOT completely sure what was going to happen; they only knew they were instructed to wait.

Acts 1:7 says, "And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power." God does not guarantee that we will know what He has planned for us. He only tells us to be obedient by waiting. Abraham had to leave where he was living without knowing where he was going. Hebrews 11:8 says, "By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going."

We don't always know what God has planned for us, but we do know that there is something in store. Our obedience through waiting on God is what will bring us to the BEST in life rather than merely the good.

Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say on the Lord."

"Whatever you're looking for is looking for you, too. The catch, of course, is recognizing it when it pops up in front of you."

Nov 9, 2004

Random Survey Part 2...

Full Name: Megan Michelle Lee
> >1. Been Kissed: Yes
> >2. Eaten an entire thing of oreos? not by myself
> >3. Eaten sushi: no
> >4. Been on stage: Yes
> >5. Ever been dumped: yes & no... It’s complicated
> >6. Has someone been unfaithful to you: eh, we were too young for it to really count... I won’t hold it against him
> >1. Cold or hot: Cold
> >2. Blue or Red: Blue
> >3. Rain or snow: Rain
> >4. Give or receive: Give
> >5. Wool or cotton: Cotton
> >7. Private school or public: graduated from Private, want to teach at Public
> >9. Celsius or Fahrenheit: Fahrenheit
> >10. Spring or fall?: Fall
> >11. History or Science?: Science
> >12. Math or English: definitely English
Opposite Sex
> >1. Do you like someone right now: I think so
> >2. Do they know?: I don't know...
> >3. What do you look for in the opposite sex?: Sense of Humor, Cute Eyes, Love for God
Your Friends
> >1. Who are your funniest friends: Luis & Rob
> >2. Who makes you laugh/smile the most?: probably Nena
> >3. Who Do You e-mail the most: Lately, it would have to be Rob
> >4. Who are your good Friends?: Allison, Krissy, the girls, the Fusion crowd...
> >5. Who's the loudest?: Rob :) Erica
> >6. Who's the shyest?: hhhmmmm... I don't really know any Shy people
> >7. Who do you know the best?: Allison
Within The Last 24 Hours
> >1. Had a serious talk? no
> >2. Hugged someone?? yes
> >3. Gotten along with your parents? always
> >4. Fought with a friend? no
Do You Like To
> >1. Give hugs: absolutely
> >2. Give back rubs: yeah
> >3. Take a walk in the rain: Of course
Which One Of Your Friends
> >1. Is most likely to grow up to be the president? dunno
> >2. Which one knows most about you? Allison in most ways, Krissy in others
> >3. Is most likely to become a comedian? Rob
> >4. Have you known the longest? Allison (21 years)
Have You Ever
> >1. Been to a concert: yes
> >2. Been out of the country: yes
> >1. Single or Hooked: single
> >2. Your biggest crush: Adam (friend from high school)
> >3. If you were gonna go out with anyone who would it be?: hhmmmmm... we'll find out.
> >4. Have you ever had an online relationship? No
> >5. What are some things you wish to do in the future with the opposite sex?: Get Married
> >1. What is your worst habit: speaking before considering how it will affect others
> >2. What really makes you mad?: Not a whole lot, but I’d probably have to say inconsiderate people
> >3. What are you scared of?: not much
> >4. Happiest moment: dunno
> >5. Do you swear? No... Hate it.
> >6. When was the last time you showered?: this morning
> >7. What color pants do you have on right now? black
> >8. What are u listening to right now? "Barlow Girls" by Superchick (Erica’s playing it in the other room)
> >9. What was the last thing that you said? "No, I haven’t been able to find them."
> >10. What is your computer desk made of? Glass and metal, but that’s not where i’m sitting now
> >11. What are the last 4 digits in your phone number? 9388
> >12. What was the last thing you ate: quesedillas
> >13. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Gecko green
> >15. How many buddies do you have on your contact list? 40-50... I’m not sure
> >16. How's the weather right now? chilly
> >18. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?: Lisa yesterday
> >19. The nicest thing you find about the opposite sex?: humor, being a good leader
> >20. The nicest present you've gotten this year: my camera that my dad graciously provided for me :)
> >21. How do you eat your Oreo?: I try to change it up a lot... Eat each one differently
> >22. How about peanut butter cup?: one bite at a time, but saving at least ½ of the outer edge of chocolate for the last bite
> >23. What makes you happy?: Music, friends, church, photography
> >24. Fave CD?: currently, probably David Crowder’s Lime CD
> >25. Height: 5'4"
> >26. Do you have glasses? no
> >27. Last CD bought? Hmmm... I think it was Matt Redman "Facedown"
> >28. Have you won any special awards?: nothing terribly important... But I was in one of those cheezy "Who’s who" books in highschool!
> >29. What do you want to be when you grow up?: a mom
> >30. Your future goals: too many to mention
> >31. If you were an animal what would you be?: A sloth... Haha... Or maybe a Leemer cause they look cool
> >23. What will you name your first child?: no sense in putting down an answer b/c my preferences change too often
> >33. What are you scared of most in the world? Being lonely / never finding the right person for me

Nov 5, 2004


What if you were the only person left on earth who was living a life pleasing to God? You, being the head of your household, also managed to lead your family in following God, but no one else on earth even gave a thought to God. They lived in total opposition to anything that God stands for. What would your life be like? No church services, no Christian fellowship, no popular hymns or worshipful choruses, no one with whom to share joy over things God has done in your life. Essentially, you and your family had been dropped in the middle of a spiritual cemetary and you were the only ones alive. This is Noah's story.

And furthermore, could you imagine working on the same task for 120 years?

5 letter word: super
Candy: Milky Way Midnight
Cereal: Special K with Red Berries
Chewing gum: Winterfresh
Color(s): green (all shades)
Color nail polish: depends on mood :)
Day of week: Sunday
Least fave day: Tuesday (this semester only)
Jello flavor: I HATE JELLO!!
Summer/Winter: both
Trampolines or swimming pools: pools

Person who last..
Saw you cry: if during church counts, Marti Briant. if not, I can't remember.
Made you cry: ?
Went to the movies with you: Marti
Yelled at you: ?
Sent you an email: Phyllis

Have you ever..
Said "I love you" and meant it?: not in a "relationship" sense
Gone out in public in your pajamas: the closest I can remember coming to this was the dining hall at Flagler
Kept a secret from everyone: of course!
Cried during a movie: yes (Hard Ball)
At anytime owned New Kids on the Block stuff: no
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: not the whole week! only occasional Saturday nights
Been on stage: yes
Been to New York: yes
Been to California: no
Canada: no
Europe: yes
Asia: no
South America: no
Australia: no
Africa: no
Wished you were the opposite sex: yes

What time is it now?: 9:09 am

Either Or
Apples or bananas?: generally bananas
Blue or red?: it's a toss-up
Walmart or Target?: Target
Spring or Fall?: Fall (pretty with fewer allergies)
High school or college?: definitely college

Do you believe in love at first sight?: maybe (never experienced it)
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: YES. 1-3
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: other than a heart for God, I'd have to say it's something you can't explain... just this awesome "thing" that God gives two people that makes them click.

Other Info
Criminal record?: no. not even any tickets.
Do you speak any other languages?: yes, ASL
Name some of your favorite things in your room: red paper lantern, painted canvases, photos
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: blog it and email it. then write another post.
Last meal you ate?: breakfast (a breakfast bar and a glass of soy milk)
Are you bored?: no
Last noise you heard?: siren outside
Last smell you sniffed?: spray paint (not kidding!)
Last time you went out of state?: summer in GA

Nickname(s): meg, megs, meganlee (considered a nickname because of how it's said)... and others
Initials: MML
How old do you look?: I think someone else should answer this one for me... I actually often wonder
How old do you act?: 25-30 sometimes. my age at others.
Glasses/Contacts: neither
Braces: had them, yes
Do you have any pets?: Toby (Yorkshire Terrier), Kitty (guess.), and Daisy (a white dove) all at my parents' house
Get embarrassed: not too often
What makes you happy?: friends, church, being outside during nice weather, not having any homework
What upsets you?: hypocrites and fakes, children who can't get adopted, the massive numbers of poor people, when people don't fulfill their responsibilities or are not considerate of others

Finish the sentence:
I Love to... hang out with my friends.
I Miss... Allison... & sleep.
I Wish... I didn't have to take Instructional Design... & that I was more compassionate.
I Hope... I'm a good teacher.
I'm Annoyed by... dirty dishes.
I Am... analytical.
I Want to Be... a wife and mom.
I Would Never... intentionally hurt someone's feelings.
I'd Rather...
I Am Tired of... school.
I Will Always be... my own person.

Oct 29, 2004

joining the "21-and-over" crowd...

Just wanted to say happy birthday to my best friend in the whole wide world, Allie. Her birthday was yesterday, but we played phone tag and never actually got to speak to each other. But the fact that I sang "Happy Birthday" on her voice mail at midnight should count for something!

Anyway, Fusion went well Wednesday night. I don't think my talk was too bad, so that's cool. Chris shared his testimony, which is always encouraging to hear. And we prayed over Grace and Jonathan for the loss of their mom. I'm eager to see what awesome things God has planned for their lives in the near future. I know He's going to do something incredible.

Camping is tonight. I'm excited about it, yet it couldn't be a more inconvenient weekend. But actually, this has been on my calender the longest, so I guess it's all the other things that I have to do that are inconvenient. Like my Grammar Theory exam. It's a take-home exam, which is better than the alternative of having to do it in class, but it's definitely not an easy exam. We're allowed to work on it with other people from the class, which is such a blessing, so Laci and I are working on ours together, but we are both incredibly busy this weekend, so making time to work on it is the hard part. We have to do four essays, and she and I made it through most of the first one yesterday afternoon. Today is out of the question for working, so we'll try to get it done tomorrow and Sunday. Saturday night is church and then Lisa's birthday party. She's having a sleepover for her 25th! How fun is that! Sunday morning is Bible study. I would also like to try to go to the Lincolnville Festival some time this weekend. I've been looking forward to it since I moved back in town in August. I'll be really sad if I can't go... they have the best food! Luckily, we don't have any sign choir practice or leadership meeting this Sunday, so that gives me the majority of the day to work. I'm gonna guess that I won't be going to ultimate frisbee, too.

Anyway, now that you have all been briefed on what I have to do this weekend, I think I'll go. I think I'll check out my friend Niki's blog. Here's the link if you want to check it out yourself. I haven't verified its quality yet, so I don't promise anything! :) Later.

Oct 27, 2004


I'm speaking tomorrow at Fusion. (Well, today, according to the date... it's after midnight.) Rob told me he's excited to hear what I have to say... I said "so am I." Ha. I was a little nervous about it yesterday, feeling like I really didn't have anything to say, but it came together some earlier. Hopefully, God will pull it all together because I still feel a little scattered. As long as the heart of what I'm saying is communicated, I'll be pleased. As usual, I'm excited about the music. I love singing with the team (Devon, Rob, Donnie, and/or Phil).

For those of you who are new readers of this wonderful blog ;) humor me and place your pin on the map. (Eh-hem... Rob...) Sadly, that's my entertainment. And since some of my friends don't do any real work... they may have some free time on their hands. Just kidding. Aight, that's it for tonight... got to get to bed... I'm a fan of the ellipse marks today... I'm really going now... g'night.

Oct 22, 2004

the fire...

Here's the post I promised. It may be short and sweet, but it's good stuff, so I hope you learn something from it. Anyway, to start off with, I got the newest Sara Groves CD over the summer and one song that I particularly like is called Jeremiah. Here are the lyrics:

Jeremiah tell me about the fire / that burns up in your bones / I want to know / I want to know more now / The burning of ambition and desire / it never could come close / to that fire / to that fire // I was looking to myself / and I forgot the power of God / I was standing with a sparkler in my hand // While I stood so proud and profound / You came and burned this whole place down / Now that's a fire //chorus// I was caught up in this vice / and its power to entice / I was dwelling on my hopelessness and doubt // With the slightest invitation / You came with total detonation / Now that's a fire //chorus// I was warming my hands by this little light of mine / but now I know it's time / to come in from the cold / Fight fire with fire, fan the flame / come stir up these coals in my soul, in my soul / till it burns out of control //chorus// Jeremiah

Last week, as I mentioned before, Kathy spoke at Fusion and read a verse from Jeremiah that clarified the meaning of this song for me. Here's the verse:

Then I said "I will not make mention of Him, nor speak any more in His name." But His Word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, and I could not.
Jeremiah 20:9

How awesome! When our own "fire" of self-ambition and desire burns out and we feel like our ministry is useless, GOD'S FIRE is still in our hearts pushing us onward! We don't do things on our own power. The fire that we think we have on our own is just a little sparkler in our hand compared to the awesome consuming fire of God. As the song says, we get caught up with ourselves and dwell on our "hopelessness and doubt" and forget that we don't need to rely on our own power. Then, along comes God "with total detonation" and just blows us away with His power to change any situation.

That's all I have to say about that. I was really encouraged by what I learned from that verse. CONTINUATION is tonight. I'm looking forward to it. Later.

Oct 15, 2004

coming attractions...

I have a post in mind, but I'm at my work-grant job right now, so (a.) I can't sit here and type forever, and (b.) I don't have some of the info with me that I wish to include. But to give you a heads up, it's about Jeremiah. Kathy spoke at Fusion on Wednesday, and she read a particular verse from Jeremiah which clarified the meaning of a song I really like by Sarah Groves. Anyway, I'll hopefully be able to post that soon.

I'm really excited about doing Habitat for Humanity tomorrow with all my friends from church. What an awesome opportunity to help people who aren't as fortunate.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! Later.

Oct 8, 2004


I haven't posted in a while, it seems. Life prevents me.

Photography is going wonderfully. I really love it. I turned in my first project yesterday, and I'm looking forward to the "official" feedback from my professor. I've gotten a lot of feedback during class from him, and it seems to be really positive, so I'm feeling optimistic.

CONTINUATION is tonight. That's the prayer meeting at our house. It's becoming very important in my life. I really look forward to it.

Nothing else much to say today. Leave a comment for me. Later.

Sep 24, 2004


There's another hurricane headed our way. Are we surprised?

Sep 22, 2004


Yes, I am posting again! Nearly a miracle, huh? I'm at my work-study job, and there's nothing to do in the office today, so here I am. I can't wait to eat my lunch. I made a chicken salad sandwich today. I sampled a little of it while I was making it this morning, and it's pretty good.

So like I was saying earlier, my church has started a new Wednesday night service called "Lifehouse." Previously they only had a Wednesday night prayer meeting/Bible study time, which mostly only the elderly people came to. They still have that at 7:00, but they added the Lifehouse service at 6:00. I had been wanting to go to it to see how it was, but with everything else I do (including Fusion/leadership from 8:30-11:00 on Wednesdays) I just hadn't made a point to get there. Now that Bobby has asked me to sing, I will have a reason to make myself go. I'm pretty excited about it. I'm amazed at the number of services that our church holds every week. And I'm amazed that Pastor Ron isn't completely worn out after all of them! We have a Saturday night service, three Sunday morning services, a Sunday night service, a Wednesday night service, and a Wednesday night prayer meeting. Not to mention the youth service on Wednesdays and Fusion for the college group. I'm not sure that Pastor Ron does any of the Wednesday services, however. Anyway, this didn't really have anything to do with anything. Just what I was thinking about.

I have to start signing up to take my teaching exams soon. I was looking at the booklet a few minutes ago, and I think it will be three seperate days that I will have to take tests. I'll do one in January, one in April, and one in July. I'm not really looking forward to those, but I guess it'll be good to get them done. I'm not sure if I have to be done before my internship next fall, or if I have until the end of my internship. All the information about the tests is really vague. I think I have the option of doing online tests, but I think you still have to go to an actual testing place to do them, so I'd rather stick with the paper and pencil tests if that's the case. I was hoping I could just do the tests from my house or whatever, but I guess you would have the opportunity to cheat if you could do that. Anyway.

Well, I'm out of stuff to talk about right now, so I'll quit while I'm ahead. Later.
september updates...

The month of the hurricanes. We finally completed our first actual full week of classes last week. I love photography class so far. And last Thursday I turned 21!!!! I had a great birthday weekend hanging out with friends and stuff. Thursday night my roommates and I went out for dinner and drinks at Chili's. (I had a Pina Colada and a Mango Frozen Martini.) Friday night we started our home-based prayer group called "Continuation" (which will be meeting at our house two Fridays a month) and then some of us went out for Italian Ice at a cool place called Rita's, then a few friends hung out at the house with us. Saturday night we went out for dinner again at Crispers. (We went out again because we were supposed to be going to this new Japanese place because that's where I wanted to go for my "birthday dinner" but after we were dressed and ready to go, we found out it wasn't open yet, so we went out anyway, so Crispers was our cheaper yet still dilicious option.) After Crispers, Krissy bought an ice cream birthday cake from Cold Stone and we went back to the house to enjoy that. Several people hung out at the house that night, too, among which were Luis and Lisa. They demonstrated their talent of dancing the Marange for us, and then Luis taught me. Fun stuff. We tried to teach him the Electric Slide, but intrest quickly dwindled.

Fusion is going awesome. I love it. Our leadership team has grown this year, and it's cool to have some new perspectives on things. I'm so excited for what's to come this year. I've been singing with Devon at Fusion for the past several weeks to lead the praise and worship. I enjoy that. In addition, Bobby (our contemporary music minister) called me yesterday and wanted to hear me sing, so I went to the church and sang for him, and he invited me to sing with the praise team for the new Wednesday night service that the church has started. I'm starting that tonight, so that's cool. Anyway, I've got to run to class now, so I'll try to post later. Bye.

Sep 6, 2004


Hurricane Francis continues slowly to drag itself across the state. The worst of the weather is over, but everyone is still homebound for the most part. In other words, I'M BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!! I haven't sat around and done nothing for quite a while, especially not at my parents' house. 4 1/2 days (5 1/2 by the end of tomorrow) is a looonnnggg time. On the bright side however, I got my camera this weekend. AND I didn't have to pay for it! That was a nice surprise. It's a Nikon N75. I can't wait to start using it. I think I'm really going to like my class. Anyway, I guess I'll get back to the puzzle that I have been working on to occupy my time. Later.

Aug 30, 2004

got it...

Well, I've got my photography class. I'm really excited about it. My first day in it will be Thursday, so I'll try to keep you posted as to how things go.

I did a ropes course this weekend at our Fusion Leadership retreat. We went up to St. Simon's Island, GA and stayed at a Christian retreat center for the weekend. It was a really awesome time of growing and planning. The ropes course was really cool, too. I was a little surprised at myself for actually walking across this wire that was strung between two trees some 20 feet in the air. It was cool to see how encouraging everybody was to each other. I love this group of people more than I have ever loved any other group. They are all so awesome. I am so blessed to be a part of this.

Aug 24, 2004

i'm back!!!

I'm happily moved into my house in St. Augustine now. I love it! Posting might be sporatic for the next week or so, until we get internet up and running in the house. Might even be sporatic after that, cause I think we're going with dial-up for the sake of cost.

I think I've got the photography class I signed up for this semester. It's on my "tentative" schedule at least. I'm way excited about that.

That's all for now. Much love!
to rachelle in gainesville...

To Rachelle who signed the guest map: Are you the Rachelle from Trinity? And from first grade, for that matter? Just wondering if I had the right person in mind, or if you're a different Rachelle. If it's you, give me the link to your blog. I used to have it, but don't now.

Aug 15, 2004


The present text of the Apostles Creed is dated c. 700 AD
I believe in God the Father Almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit
and born of the Virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and life everlasting. Amen

Present text of Nicene Creed 381 AD
I believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
all that is,
seen and unseen.
I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven;
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate of the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
I acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
I look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.

*The term "catholic" in these creeds is a term that indicates the fact that there is one united church which is the Body of Christ, not necessarily connected with the term as we use it today representing one denomination.
the Father's love...

How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son and make a wretch his treasure
How great the pain of seering loss, the Father turns His face away
As wounds that mark the chosen One bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross, my sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ, his death and resurrection
Why should I gain from his reward? I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart: His wounds have been my randsom

Aug 13, 2004


Oh...My...Gosh! I went to the Chihuly exhibit today. It was phenominal! I have never taken so many pictures in such a short period of time... and I take a lot of pictures! I took 4 1/2 rolls of film in two hours. That's somewhere around 106 pictures. Not joking. That's one picture every 1 minute and 13 seconds. Regardless of the fact that I will now have to spend at least $20 in developing charges, I am so glad I went and had the opportunity to take those pictures. I suppose out of 106 I have a pretty good chance that some of them turned out okay! On top of the glasswork being incredible, the garden has an orchid room in their green house that took my breath away! Orchids are my absolute favorite flowers, so I spent forever in that room taking pictures. Actually, I had a lot of trouble getting my camera to focus on the orchids, so it took a little longer. There was another room that housed rainforest type plants, which was also amazing. Chihuly's main piece in that room was incredible. It was a bunch of glass balls in various colors, sizes, and designs, all strung together from the 30-foot ceiling reaching all the way to the floor. I realize as I'm telling this story that unless you were there this is totally unimpressive, but I'm writing anyway. Another cool thing was that he has "floats" in the ponds. They are also large glass balls that just float around (who would have guessed) in the pond. It sounds simple, which technically I guess it is, but it's cool because as a piece of art it is in constant change because the balls change location in the pond all the time. And they are intermixed with these enormous lilly pads. The biggest I've ever seen in my life. The large ones were probably 5 feet in diameter. They're really cool because, as I heard a man explaining, they come up from the bottom of the pond relatively small (I would guess six inches to a foot) and they're kind of wrinkly, and as they sit on top of the water they expand and all the wrinkles smoothe out. Before I left the garden (side note) I had the best Caeser salad. Then I began driving home, but aparently I was in a daze or something and missed my exit. Eventually I was like, "shouldn't I be almost home by now? I feel like I've been driving forever." Sure enough, I had been. When I figured out where I was I was WAY off track! So all in all, I drove an extra 40 miles today! But on the plus side, it gave me the opportunity to go down like the coolest road in Georgia. I drove down this crazy curvy road at like 65mph with my window down and my hair flapping and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was a great day.

Aug 12, 2004

holding hands with the wind...

curving Georgia asphalt. beautiful day. manual window in the down position. hair back, hat on: saves face from a battering. righ hand loosely on black wheel. left hand outstretched to the outside world, holding hands with the wind. jade wrapped around thumb, wide brown leather encasing wrist. breezy fingers intertwine with mine. palm to palm. hands twist around, in and out, with glorious interplay.

to feel God. to know His presence. to hold hands with the Creator through Creation. trees, breeze, and rays of light. the glory of God declared. behold, He comes!

This was my five-minute drive to the barn today. I live for moments like that.

Aug 11, 2004


Pastor Jonny has been preaching on baptism for the last couple of services. I've enjoyed it very much and my understanding of it has been broadened. Today I was reading Scott's post called "Baptism and Salvation". I think I hold a slightly different point of view in some respect than he does, but here's what I do believe. (This is such a complex subject... I know I won't be able to say everything perfectly, but I'll try my best.) I don't believe that baptism is what brings salvation, in the sense that if you are dunked under the water you are automatically saved. That would be to say that salvation is work-based. However, I do believe that baptism is a "part" of salvation, in that if you become saved you will be baptized. Not you might be baptized, or you can be baptized, but you WILL be. As Pastor Jonny put it, "The New Testament does not even seem to entertain the idea of an unbaptized believer." (As Scott put it, salvation is more a combination of things than a single act, but more on that later.) I do not believe that it is absolutely impossible for a person to be saved and not baptized, but for the most part I believe that if your faith is real and your salvation is real, your only desire would be to obey God in every possible way, the first of which is baptism. Regardless of anything else you believe about it, baptism is commanded by God, so in order to live an obedient life, baptism is required.

Aug 10, 2004

artist info...

Dale Chihuly has an exhibit at the Atlanta Botanical Garden right now. It's been going on all summer and will last till the end of October. For the 98% of you who have no idea who Chihuly is, he's this awesome glass artist that I learned about in my Intro to Visual Arts class last semester. He makes these incredible pieces from colored blown glass, usually with a very interesting shape. Typically he displays his art in "odd" locations, meaning he doesn't just line the halls of an art gallery with his stuff; he puts them out in nature, or in public settings, or wherever. I really hope to be able to go see the exhibit some time this week. From the pictures I've seen, the pieces look incredible in the garden, and I really want to experience them first-hand and take some good photos. It looks like I might be able to go on Saturday to see it after Ashlee takes her driving test in my car and before Allie gets here that evening. We'll see.
useless info...

We went out to eat Sunday night at one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook the food in front of you. I've been to one in Jacksonville, but there's no comparison, this one was way better. And it was authentic-looking, too: the girls wear kimonos, the decor is very Japanese. With the meal you get salad (with very yummy ginger dressing), soup, fried rice, Japanese hash browns, vegetables, shrimp, and your choice of meat or extra veggies if you prefer (I had shrimp). Anyway, I am very proud to say that, aside from my salad, I successfuly ate my entire meal with chopsticks... rice and all! Yay me!

Aug 9, 2004

nine days/five days...

The summer has flown by! In a mere nine days, I will be returning to Florida. I am SOOOO excited! I can't wait to see my friends in St. Augustine and get settled into my house. I'm also way excited because in only FIVE days my best friend Allison is coming to see me here in Atlanta!!! She's riding up with Ginny Pellum on her (Ginny's) way back to school, and Allie will stay with us for a few days and then ride back to Florida with me. That's awesome because now I'll have company for the 6 1/2 hours!

I had to think about something positive for a few minutes because today was a stressful day at work. Luckily, I haven't had too many of those this summer, but today was probably the worst. It was just a really annoying job today. Conditions were far from ideal. But we got done what we needed to do, and luckily Wendy the designer was helping a little today and she's going to finish up the rest tonight because she has to meet with the builder or somebody like that at that house anyway. On the plus side, there was a really attractive guy installing some speakers or something for a little bit while we were there! The funny part of today was Marti and I figuring out how to fit the ladder into her Jeep Wrangler! We conquered it though. It's all good.

Not much else is new. Except that the kids started school today. The middle-schoolers are home already and seem like everything went well. The high-schoolers are still at their extra-curriculars. That's all. Later.

Aug 2, 2004


If you wouldn't mind taking a few seconds out of your busy day, please click on the new guest map button on the left and put yourself on the map. I'd love it if you would do this for me! Thanks so much.

"Paths are not made for walking, but by walking."

Aug 1, 2004

God rocks!

I feel that confession is the first step in making progress in our Christian lives. Since posting the other day about my lack of faithfulness, I have had the opportunity to talk to two other people about it and get some feedback. That alone has made it easer for me the past several days. In addition, I know that they are praying for me, so their intercession on my behalf is making a difference, also. Speaking of feedback, I was able to talk to two friends (seperately) the other night online, and we had some awesome conversations about serious matters. It's really cool how God teaches us stuff in our personal lives and then we have the opportunity to use what we've learned to help someone else in whatever they're going through. It's also cool how it's not just a one-way thing. If two people are both growing individually with God, they can both offer sound advice to one another, rather than only one giving and only one receiving the advice. That, I think, is what was so awesome to me the other night. In one of the conversations, we both shared our struggles with each other. I was able to share some wisdom with her about her issue, and she was able to share some wisdom with me about mine. I've been in friendships before where things always seemed more one-way. Either I'm pouring myself out into someone and feel like I'm getting nothing back, or I'm the receiver and feel like I have nothing to give back. These relationships happen for a reason, but sometimes they are tough. But then, God blesses us with friendships which are constantly flowing back and forth in both directions, and it's just flat incredible. Even the thought that God would care enough about us to make sure we are provided with friends we "click" with is so cool. It blows me away that He cares that much for each of us. I serve an AWESOME God. And I'm so thankful for it.

Jul 31, 2004

for a friend...

God, I pray for ***. I pray that you would be her strength this week. Lord, when Peter set his eyes on You, he was able to walk on water. When we set our minds and hearts on You, You have promised that we can overcome anything. 1 John 5:4-5 says "For whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world -- our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" Lord, on our own we are totally incapable of anything. But as Your children, we do not have to rely on our own ability and strength; we have Your strength within us, enabling us to do anything. Father, we often say with our mouths that nothing is impossible for You. If we really believe this, I pray that we would allow You to take control of the things in our lives that we already know are impossible for us. Jesus, *** needs You to take control of this situation. It is something that You alone can handle. I ask that her heart is filled with the assurance this week that You are in total control. Let her hands be opened, not clinging on to the control of this situation. May she know that the only way to overcome it is to stop trying in her own strength and to allow You to remove it from her life. May You be the "Great Filler" so that in this area of her life You would replace what it is she is letting go of. Jireh, thank You for answering our prayers. Thank You for caring so much about us.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God, my Father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging.
Your love is a mountain strong beneath my feet.
Your love is a mystery, how You gently lift me,
When I am surrounded, Your love carries me.

Your love makes me sing!
Your love makes me sing!
good vibrations...

I gave and got advice from two very special friends tonight. It's a good feeling. It's awesome how God lets us learn things and then have the opportunity to share them with one another. He's awesome.

Jul 29, 2004


Yesterday was half-off day at the thrift store.  And when I say thrift store, this isn't like the junkie, dirty place around the corner from the old K-mart.  This place is actually pretty nice, as far as thrift stores go.  It's clean and well-organized and of a fairly good size.  The only downside to the place is that they don't have fitting rooms.  On average days, if you buy something and change your mind, you can return it for store credit.  On half-off days, however, which occur on the last Wednesday of every month, you are not permitted to return the items you buy, so generally, you want to be sure the clothes will fit.  The common solution to the lack of fitting rooms at this particular location is quite amusing.  This is what my story is really about.  When shopping in this store, especially on half-off days, it is common to see numerous customers making their way to the "furniture department" with cartloads of clothing.  In the store, there is an area where four bedroom sets are organized side by side.  Each set has a full-size mirror attached to the dresser next to a queen size bed.  These four areas have become the make-shift dressing area.  A somewhat obvious problem still exists, however.  You can't change your clotes in public!  Solution: snug shirts and enormous skirts.  Planning ahead and wearing a snug shirt allows for trying on shirts over your current clothing.  For the bottoms, one must borrow a large, elastic-waist skirt from the womens' area, which allows for trying on things underneath without being seen.  So yesterday, for the first time ever, and totally on my own, I participated in this local tradition.  I started off with a skirt that was far too large, however, which, as you might imagine, caused quite a bit of difficulty.  Another skirt from my pile, thankfully, was an appropriate replacement.  I was not quite as successful as I had hoped to be with finding things that fit, but I found a few good things.  In the end, I came home with 14 children's books (which were not included in the half-off sale), one pair of shorts, one sweater, and three shirts for under $27.  Not bad, I think, since the shorts alone (Old Navy) would have originally cost that much. 

To segue into another topic, I'm really excited about all the children's books I have been able to get this summer, and about the great prices I've paid.  After taking several classes pertaining to children's literature and reading instruction, I have become passionate about finding quality children's books to stock up on for my future classroom.  "Future" makes it sound so far away, but really it's only a year and a half away.  That's weird to think about!  I'm anxious to get back to St.Augustine next month and start my practicums again.  I love being in elementary classrooms.  I love teaching.  That is definitely something I could have never imagined myself saying a few years ago.  It's funny how things work out.  All my life, teaching was the one career I vowed never to do.  "I'll never be a teacher," I said.  Looking back now, I think I said that because I realized how hard it is to be a teacher.  It takes hard work.  It takes patience and determination.  I think at the time I couldn't imagine anything being worth what it takes to be a teacher.  Then, through a clever little plan, God eased me into the teaching field in a way that was nearly painless.  Once I got involved in it, I started to become passionate about it.  The stuff I learn in my classes is so interesting, and then when I work with the kids I actually get to apply it.  (I love it when they teach us useful things in college!)  I don't know if I'll want to teach forever, or just for a few years, but I do know that right now I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and that's a good feeling.

Jul 28, 2004


Maybe it's just plain jealousy.  Idunno.  I was reading several blogs today, by way of links from other blogs, when I came to realize that most other Christian bloggers seem to write solely about spiritual matters.  They seem deep and meaningful, and the posts I read were quite good and had valuable things to say.  So why is it that I find myself writing most days about what I had for dinner or what the kids did?  Am I less of a person, spiritually speaking, than they who write spiritually?  Couldn't they just be "praying loudly on street corners"?  I am certainly not the one to judge their sinceriety, besides the fact that I truely do enjoy most of the ones I have read.  But regardless of whether they are being real or not, I have come to a conclusion regarding my ho-hum writing.  I can't write about what I'm learning from God when I'm not taking the time to listen to Him.  To be totally and completely frank, my consistency in my personal time with God has been pushed to the back burner this summer.  Being on the back burner doesn't mean it's gone completely; it just means it is not receiving the attention it deserves.  (For the record, the stereo in my car is messed up right now, and I'm beginning to believe God let it break so we could have more time to talk!)  While I do not believe reading the Bible daily is a direct command of God, I do believe frequent Bible-reading is a critical part of one's relationship with God.  It's the main way we hear what God has to say to us and what His will is for us.  So if we say that knowing God's will is so important, why don't we investigate it constantly?  Why don't I?  Why was it so easy for six years for me to read my Bible every single day, yet all of a sudden in a single year, when I feel my life as a Christian is at a much higher level than it ever has been, it is now like pulling teeth?  Option A is that for six years it was just part of the routein.  Now that it has deeper significance, it doesn't just "happen," it takes effort.  (I had an Option B, but I forgot what it was.)  I've been talking to God daily about this for some time now.  I realize, and admit to Him, that when I do read His Word I love it.  I can't get enough, once I'm started.  It's just that "getting started" part that seems to be hard right now.  Lately, I've been averaging about three days a week on my Bible reading.  I know God doesn't keep score, but I also know that I could give Him a lot more of my time and consideration.  He deserves far more than I am giving Him.  Granted, He deserves far more than I ever could give Him.  I don't know where I'm going with all of this.  I guess this is just my confession.  In Sunday school, Bryan mentioned how we put up guards around ourselves by always asking prayer requests for other people, never acknowledging our own needs, thereby never allowing anyone to really know anything about us.  I thought of this today.  I thought it would be appropriate for me to acknowledge my shortcomings.  I also thought today about something that I heard once, or more than once: if it is easy (or costs you nothing), it is not really sacrifice.  For me, worshipping God through songs is not really sacrifice.  It doesn't cost me anything, and it's not really "hard" for me.  I don't know that I would call reading my Bible a sacrifice either, but it may turn out to be even more valuable in my life since it is something that is a little more difficult, at least right now.  These are my thoughts.  These are my confessions.

random abbey thought of the day...

Out of the blue today, Abbey (12) asked me, "Are you and Niki best friends?"  "Not best friends," I replied.  "What makes you ask that?"  "Cause you two get along so good.  And you sure do laugh alot together." 

Mind you, Niki and her mom Lori came for a visit back in the beginning of May.  Today, nearing the end of July, Abbey asks me this.  You've got to love the 12-year-old mind! 

She did make me think, though.  I really do enjoy Niki's company.  I think we have similar personalities in certain ways.  And definitely a similar sense of humor... a bit on the sarcastic side.  Funny how you don't notice things until a 12-year-old points them out to you.

Jul 27, 2004

plan ahead...

Where will you be January 2-5, 2005?  I'll be at Passion '05, Lord willing.  I've wanted to go to a Passion confrence ever since I first heard about them.  They only come around once every other year, so you have to grab the opportunity when you can.  Last time (Oneday '03) the dates were during the semester, like Tuesday through Friday, which is a LOT  of time to take off from school.  This time, however, it'll be before classes start, so I'm definitely going to try to go.  For anyone else who might be interested, be sure to check out the link.  In addition, be sure to register soon because space fills up quickly and prices go up, too.

Jul 26, 2004

the day the silence ended...

I had the house to myself for an entire week.  Matt, Alyssa, and Abbey went to Texas to visit their uncle, and Rex, Marti, and Ashlee went to Brazil on a mission trip.  I got bored at times, but it sure was nice being on my own schedule and having a quiet house for a while.  I was excited to see the kids when I picked them up at the airport on Sunday (which is another story altogether), but without Marti here to be the one in charge, I'm playing "mom" again for a few days.  I don't mind it, except that the kids are still in "vacation with Uncle Chuck" mindset, which means I'm having to nag them to clean up after themselves and all that stuff.  I hate sounding like the "bad guy," always saying "come get your cup" or "is this your plate?" or "make sure this is all cleaned up before you go to bed."  A necessary part of being the responsible adult, I suppose.  I'm sympathizing with moms everywhere tonight, though, because after cooking dinner, no one really ate any.  Well, Alyssa did have some salad, and I would have made the rest  of the stuff for myself anyway, so I guess it's no biggie.  Anyway, random thoughts of the day.  Rex comes home tomorrow, so I can at least split the responsibility.  I figure, however, that by the time I have my own teenagers, I will be well-experienced in raising them!  Later.

Jul 17, 2004

new things...
First off, I get all used to the way Blogger is set up for me to publish my blog, and they go and change it completely.  But it'll be fine.  Secondly, lots of news from yesterday.  Abbey got her cast off her foot after six weeks.  Marti suddenly had to turn her car back in because the barter deal for it didn't work out the way they had planned, so the Briant family is back to one automobile for a while.  (A new one is in the works, however.)  So I went to pick up Marti and Abbey yesterday when they turned in the car, and then we took Abbey for her long-awaited pedicure, which was her "treat" after getting her cast off.  Marti and I got pedicures, as well, which was my very first one ever!  It was fun.  I wasn't sure how I would feel about somebody messing with my feet, but it was nice.  And now I have super cute orange-sherbert-colored piggies with nifty white flowers on the big toes.
The Briants are leaving for the week, so I'm gonna have the house to myself for a while.  Rex is heading to Brasil today, and Matt, Alyssa, and Abbey are going to Dallas to stay with their uncle.  Marti and Ashley are leaving for Brasil on Sunday.  After that, it's just me for more than a week.  Well, me and Solomon the dog.  Not sure what exactly I'm going to do to keep myself occupied after work.  I'll figure something out.
Well, for now I'm off to make a smoothie before going to the airport.  Later.

Jul 12, 2004

awesome song...

There's a new song that we were just introduced to yesterday at choir practice, and it's awesome!

I call You holy, Lord You are holy,
You are so holy to me
I call You holy, Lord You are holy,
Holy You are and holy You'll be

I call You awesome, Lord You are awesome,
You are so awesome to me
I call You awesome, Lord You are awesome,
Awesome You are and awesome You'll be

I call You Jireh, Lord my provider,
You are provider to me
I call You Jireh, Lord my provider
Jireh You are and provider You'll be

I call You Healer, Lord You are Healer
You're the Great Healer to me
I call You Healer, Lord You are Healer
Healer You are and Healer You'll be

I call You all that, Lord You are all that
You have been all that to me
I call You all that, Lord You are all that
All that you are and all that You'll be

Marti got the CD of the book it's in, and we listened to this song like 10 times in the car today!

Jul 11, 2004


We had CHURCH today! It was so awesome! Pastor Johnny has been out of town for like two weeks, and he's always really fired up when he comes back from not preaching for a while, so it was a given already that today's services would be powerful. Before this morning's service, Sunday School was also really good. Lots of good information and good participation from everyone. Then, the worship time in the service was good, and Pastor Johnny preached an energetic message. Tonight's service was unbelievable. There were a bunch of baptisms, many from our "regular" crowd and many from our inner-city ministry. That part of the service alone seemed to go on forever and it was awesome. (I love watching baptisms.) Then, we had a great time of praise and worship, followed by a very powerful and passionate soloist, followed by the choir special which was amazing! The choir special was a really good arrangement of "Days of Elijah," which I really enjoy anyway, and add to that the incredible lady who sang with the choir, plus (most significant) the awesome presence of the Spirit of God that was present as thousands of His children joined together to praise His name. Our service starts at 6:00, and by 7:15 Pastor Johnny was just getting up to speak! Sometimes things get long because we make them long, but tonight was prolonged by the Spirit of God and it was incredible. I love, love, love times like that, when His presence is just so evident and all you can do is continue to praise Him. That's what heaven's gonna be like. We will be compelled continually to praise Him. On, and on, and on, and it will be awesome!!!

Days of Elijah
Words and Music by Robin Mark

These are the days of Elijah
Declaring the Word of the Lord

And these are the days of your servant Moses
Righteousness being restored

And though these are days of great trials
Of famine and darkness and sword

Still we are the voice in the desert crying
Prepare ye the way of the Lord!

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

And these are the days of Ezekiel
The dry bones becoming as flesh

And these are the days of your servant David
Rebuilding a temple of praise

And these are the days of the harvest
The fields are as white in the world

And we are the labourers in your vineyard
Declaring the word of the Lord!

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

There's no God like Jehovah!

There's no God like Jehovah!

There's no God like Jehovah!

There's no God like Jehovah!
(Repeat 3 times)

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

Jul 10, 2004

mini shopping spree...

Well, I went to Target today to get out of the house and to find a water bottle that I like. I had two other necessities on my list, one of which Target did not have. But while there, I managed to spend $60. How does that happen? I don't think it was a waste though. I found a backpack for school, which I had been looking for; I got the water bottle I went for; I got soap, which was on my list; and my "splurge" item was a set of really trendy silverware that was marked down. The backpack is perfect, which is a big deal to me because I'm really picky about backpacks. This one's a black, fairly plain, one-strap Jan Sport. The water bottle is perfect, too. I'm also really picky about those. This one is made by Eddie Bower and it's this cool nearly-unbreakable plastic that's supposed to be better for you, health wise, than other plastics. The silverware were calling my name. I always look at silverware, but could never justify buying them until now. (Yeah, I'm weird. I'd rather shop for housewares than clothes any day.) The mark-down sign in front of them was all the justification I needed. I had one other splurge item the other day. I was at Pac-Sun with Marti looking for a hat for Sam's birthday when the world's most perfect pair of brown Reefs jumped out at me. There was one pair hanging at eye level, which was about 4 rows down from the others like it, and that pair was my size. I tried them on and I fell in love. Yes, they cost way more than I would normally spend on any shoes, much less flops, but they are incredibly comfortable, and I reasonably justified this one by determining that for approximately 75% of the past year all I have worn is my brown flops. So I'm really happy with the stuff I have purchased this week, but I'm not allowed to spend any more money. Hopefully I can stick to that!

Jul 9, 2004

one more thing...

My friend Melissa from high school is getting married at the end of the month! I just found out a few weeks ago, but that's really cool. Wish I could be there, but congratulations anyway.
quote of the day...

"When things don't go right, just build a new door... and then shoot staples through it... character."

HAHA. (That makes no sense to anyone but me... and Marti, because it's her quote, but she's not reading this.)

This will be the condensed version of the Bible study on Ruth 1 that I led last night with the girls.

The story: A man named Elimelech lived in Bethlehem with his wife Naomi and two sons Mahlon and Chilon. Bethlehem was where the people of God lived at the time. A famine came in Bethlehem as punishment for the sinful lifestyle that God's people were participating in. Elimelech decided that another city, Moab, had more to offer, so he took his family there. They probably only planned to stay for a short while, but the two sons wound up marrying Moabite girls named Ruth and Orpah, they stayed for about 10 years, and eventually Elimelech and his two sons died. The three women were left. Naomi was going to return to Bethlehem because she had heard that the famine was over and God was providing food, but she urged the two girls to stay in Moab and return to their homes. The girls said they were going with her. After more urging, Orpah decided to return home, but Ruth stayed with Naomi. Naomi and Ruth returned to Bethlehem, but Naomi was so bitter for the things that had happened to her that she even wanted to change her name signifying her bitterness (Mara).

Important notes: Most of the names in this story have significant meanings. Elimelech: My God is King. Bethlehem: house of bread. Naomi: pleasant. Mahlon: unhealthy, sickly. Chilon: puny, pining. Moab: washpot; "what father?". Orpah: deer; stiffnecked. Ruth: beauty, friendship, mercy.
Elimelech, the one whose name signifies that he believes in God, quit trusting in the providence of God and relied on his own strength. He left the place God had for him and went to live in a sinful nation. Next, his sons married two girls from this pagan nation. All three guys died, leaving three widows (which, at that time, were equivalent to the homeless in our society), so when Naomi heard that God's blessing had returned to Bethlehem, she decided to go back. Even though the Christian family had been living in a pagan nation for a long time, their faith must have still had an impact on the two daughters-in-law because they were both interested in following Naomi back to her homeland and her way of life. Naomi was upfront with the girls and let them know that coming with her would not be an easy thing for them to do. It would be difficult. After considering the cost, Orpah decided it wasn't for her, but Ruth committed to Naomi wholeheartedly. Upon her return to Bethlehem, Naomi complained that the Lord had brought her back empty and she wanted to change her name to Mara to signify her bitterness. The Lord had other plans for her, however. He did not change her name... there was still hope for her. She was not destined to be bitter forever. She would still "experience great joy in her life and in her God. God had not abandoned her."

Characters to which we can relate:
Like Orpah, many people say they want to follow God, but they change their minds when they find out how tough it may be... that it won't be a walk in the park.
Like Elimelech, some Christians who are in a tough place, when given the choice of trusting God or running, choose to run. They doubt the "Fatherhood" of God and that He will take care of them. The step out in willful disobedience and rely on their own strength.
Like Naomi, some Christians who have run away do return, but they want to make sure God knows that they are mad at Him for letting bad things happen. They let bitterness take over and define who they are.
Like Ruth, true Christians consider the cost of following Christ and follow knowing that it might not be easy. They commit to Him through good times and bad.

Something else we can learn: "We can never expect to bring back anything productive from our [trip] to Moab! If we are true sons of God then the Lord will bring us back to Himself, but it is not usually pleasant."

Jul 8, 2004


Dallas and DJ got engaged!!! How exciting!

(Yes, Allison, you still need to write me and tell me all about it! Tell me everything you know!)

I forgot to mention, since I was busy ranting, that my book was also delivered. It's called TwentySomeone. Yes, "someone" not "something." That's the whole point. When you say "twenty-something" it's like making people into nothing more than a statistic. (Okay, that's not always how the word is used, but for the example.) This book addresses asking yourself the question "who am I?" which is more useful and fulfilling than "what am I supposed to do with my life?" So far it's been really good. It talks about who God has made us to be and how we have a primary calling of "living out our identity as children of God." Our secondary calling is the part of life that is individual to all of us, such as what job we choose, how we serve in our church, etc. As the book points out, however, sometimes God chooses to wait to reveal this part to us until later on in life. One possibility for this is that He wants us to focus on our primary calling during our younger years (say, our twenties). It gives an acronym (borrowed from another book) on how we begin the process of discovering our secondary purpose. We have to consider our SHAPE: spiritual gifts, heart, abilities, personality, and experience. There is a section about each of these. One quote under "heart" that really stuck out to me was this: "What is it I'm passionate about? ... If we don't pursue the passions contained within our desires (the good ones, that is) because they're impractical or we think they're silly or we're too busy, we run the risk of losing a major part of ourselves. So once you figure out what you're passionate about, cultivate those things. We need to care for our hearts and passions--examine them, write about them, share them, express them--or we will grow cold and disconnected as we pursue things in life we don't really care about." So that's what I'm doing here! Writing about my passions. And hopefully this is just the start. My desire is to go further by actually developing things in my life that I am passionate about. Like the quote says, sometimes I feel like my desires are silly or impractical or I'm too busy, but I really want to do certain things despite those facts. Here's my list, or a shortened version of it for your sake!

1. I want to learn to be a better photographer. (I'm signed up for a class this fall... as long as I get in and I can get a camera, we're on the right track.)
2. I want to learn to play the guitar. (I own one but can't play it.)
3. I want to learn to play the cello. (If I still care to learn a third instrument after the guitar, this will be it. Or if the guitar doesn't work out too well, this is another option.)
4. I want to learn to paint.
5. I want to go to a gym on a regular basis. (During the school year I'm pretty good about going twice a week. When I graduate, however, I need to find one close to wherever I live and make myself go. I enjoy it when I'm there, it's just hard to get myself there at times.)
6. I would love to sing in a really good choir. (This one is dependent upon where I live and whether or not that area has one. I'm open to suggestions about this, if anybody has any info.)
7. I MUST be involved in a good strong group of believers. I CANNOT let this get pushed to the back burner. (While in St. Augustine I am involved. If I move, hovever, I have to make it a priority to find a group.)
8. I want to allow myself time to enjoy things like the scenery, art galleries, the beach, whatever. (This is why I love St. Augustine... it provides all these things as long as I do my part and make time for them.)
9. I want to cook real food on a regular basis instead of relying on the quick-fix meals our society bombards us with.
10. I want to go to good Christian concerts as often as possible. (This is already happening at this point in my life, but I want it to continue as I get older. I don't want to stop taking time to enjoy the music I love just because it's a little less convenient or I'm starting to get out of the average age group or whatever.)

That's my list for now. I wrote about my passions and desires like the book says. (For that matter, writing is one of my passions.) Now I intend to go out and do as many of them as I can.