"Stars" by David Crowder Band (from "Illuminate")
You should see the stars tonight
How they shimmer shine so bright
Against the black they look so white
Coming down from such a height
To reach me now
You reach me now
You should see the moon in flight
Cutting 'cross the misty night
Softly dancing in sunshine
Reflections of its light
Reach me now
You reach me now
And how could such a thing
Shine its light on me and make everything
Beautiful again
And you should feel the sun in spring
Coming out after a rain
Suddenly all is green
Sunshine on everything
I can feel it now
I feel You now
And you should hear the angels sing
All gathered 'round their King
More beautiful than you could dream
I've been quietly listening
You can hear 'em now
I hear them now
And how could such a King
Shine His light on me
And make everything
Beautiful
And I want to shine
I want to be light
I want to tell you
It'll be alright
Yeah, I want to shine
And I want to fly
Just to tell you now
It'll be alright
It'll be alright, yeah
It'll be alright
'Cause I've got nothing of my own
To give to you
But this light that shines on me
Shines on you
And makes everything
Beautiful, again
It'll be alright
It'll be alright
I went camping last night at Anastasia campground with a bunch of people from church. It was so fun. More than just fun, it was incredible to sit back and take in God's creation more than I usually do. We sat around the campfire and sang as many worship songs as we could come up with, accompanied by Jill on the guitar. In the middle of that, we shared times when we've seen something awesome about God's creation and what that has meant to us. We sat around singing till very late into the night. Afterwards, most everybody headed to bed. Erica, Chris, Forrest, and I chose to go out to the beach to see the stars. It was amazing. We laid out on the sand in the pitch black and stared up into the vast expanse, naming constellations and pointing out interesting stars (and flickering green asteroids that were surely headed for our destruction!). God is amazing. Just to think that He made all of creation for us to enjoy blows me away. We headed back to camp around 2:00 am. This morning Erica, Phyllis, Billy, and I woke up early and went back out to the beach to watch the sunrise and pray together. Talk about incredible! It was completely amazing to watch the transformation of the sky as the sun crept up over the horizon. The gray rain clouds that were off in the distance changed from gray to purple to red to orange, with ever changing shadows and reflections. The waves and ripples in the water relfected the sky from every direction, making part of a wave dark and part of it red and part of it white. It was a sea of colors. I guess I haven't watched the sun actually rise in a long time because it amazed me how fast the sun moves once it breaks over the horizon a little. I'd say it took from 30 to 45 seconds to go from not seeing the sun at all to seeing it in its entirety. It was awesome. The rest of our time at the campground today went well, also. It was fun just to have a day/night to get away from the "daily grind" of school and everything else. God is completely amazing and I'm so glad I got a chance to admire His creation a little this weekend.
Take time to look around.
Oct 25, 2003
Oct 22, 2003
Oct 17, 2003
A shining light, a beacon of hope...
Yes, yes, I know my posts have been few and far between lately. I'm sorry. But life gets a little crazy at times! Today I think I may have quite a lot to say, though, so be prepared!
I just had a meeting with Paul Carpino, the career counselor here at Flagler. As I told Erica earlier, I didn't really know what to expect, but I did expect and fear that he would sit down, look at me, and say, "so what do you want to do with your life?" And essentially, he did just that. Anybody who's been keeping up with me in the past few weeks knows that this is the exact question that I have been struggling to answer for myself, so I sure as heck didn't want somebody else to ask me! But he asked. And I told him what I've come up with so far. I hesitantly began by informing him that I'm not totally sure that I even want to teach. [*gasp!* are education majors allowed to say that???] I proceeded to explain that the reason I am unsure of what I want to do is that I have so many interests in so many different areas (art, language, music, etc.) that I'm having trouble focusing on one thing that I "want to do." I expected him to give me the typical "hmmm.... I see" like a doctor after receiving the list of symptoms from the patient and then to spout off a cliche solution to my "problem," but that wasn't what he did at all. In fact, he seemed almost pleased with my answer. He mentioned that we all have to have a job that "pays the rent" but we should also continue to pursue what we love even if it doesn't make the money, and sometimes what we love will start making money and we can dump the other job. He began by telling me that he had corresponded with Jim Davis, the writer of Garfield, over the summer. (I thought to myself "Does this really have to do with me, or is it just a story he likes to tell?") The story actually had quite a good point. Long story short, Jim Davis never had any idea that people would even like Garfield, let alone that it would explode into the multi-million dollar thing that it is today. The reason Jim got to where he is today is because of his philosophy on life. He says, "Do what makes you happy, whether it is gardening, selling, or writing.... If you do something constructive that makes you happy, you'll work harder. The harder you work, the better you get. The better you get, the better you'll do. Success is bound to accompany the happiness." Mr. Carpino told me that it's all about having a vision or a plan. He said that when he was in graduate school he sat down and wrote out a plan of all the things he wanted to do. He got a little crazy on the details, even down to what kind of office he would have and what the view from his window would be! I don't think I'll take it that far, but the idea is really good. He said that writing out a plan makes it a lot easier to accomplish what you want. He said that years later he looked back at what he had written and like 95% of it was accurate to what actually happened. "So I would advise you to make a plan" he said. I told him that I've been messing around with some ideas lately, and he asked what they were. So I told him about Rex and Marti and their furniture shop, and how Marti and I have talked about me possibly working for them over the summer. I told him that I could totally see myself in that kind of job because I would absolutely love it. I could see myself having a job like that (maybe not that exact job, but a similar one) full time because I would enjoy it and it would make the necessary money, and then I could do other things on the side like photography and sing in a choir or work with a kids choir and maybe even teach a class here and there. Most teachers and professors, I think, would find my ideas a little random and lacking focus, but he seemed to think I was right on track. He called me an "aligned" person, which to him is a great thing to be. He said it's a great quality to have and there aren't many people who are truly aligned. That definitely boosted my confidence a little! So I'm starting to sort through things a little better now, and I'm really glad I didn't come away feeling like I'm wasting my time being here or being in Education. In not so many words, Mr. Carpino implied that it was fine if I never "used" my major. That makes me happy. He told me "Don't let the nay-sayers discourage you from doing what you want to do." I was like, "yeah, they're the ones who hate their jobs anyway!" So I am greatly encouraged today. I am convinced that I will have a wonderful life with a job that I enjoy, or at least a job that makes money and hobbies I enjoy! It's a good day.
Yes, yes, I know my posts have been few and far between lately. I'm sorry. But life gets a little crazy at times! Today I think I may have quite a lot to say, though, so be prepared!
I just had a meeting with Paul Carpino, the career counselor here at Flagler. As I told Erica earlier, I didn't really know what to expect, but I did expect and fear that he would sit down, look at me, and say, "so what do you want to do with your life?" And essentially, he did just that. Anybody who's been keeping up with me in the past few weeks knows that this is the exact question that I have been struggling to answer for myself, so I sure as heck didn't want somebody else to ask me! But he asked. And I told him what I've come up with so far. I hesitantly began by informing him that I'm not totally sure that I even want to teach. [*gasp!* are education majors allowed to say that???] I proceeded to explain that the reason I am unsure of what I want to do is that I have so many interests in so many different areas (art, language, music, etc.) that I'm having trouble focusing on one thing that I "want to do." I expected him to give me the typical "hmmm.... I see" like a doctor after receiving the list of symptoms from the patient and then to spout off a cliche solution to my "problem," but that wasn't what he did at all. In fact, he seemed almost pleased with my answer. He mentioned that we all have to have a job that "pays the rent" but we should also continue to pursue what we love even if it doesn't make the money, and sometimes what we love will start making money and we can dump the other job. He began by telling me that he had corresponded with Jim Davis, the writer of Garfield, over the summer. (I thought to myself "Does this really have to do with me, or is it just a story he likes to tell?") The story actually had quite a good point. Long story short, Jim Davis never had any idea that people would even like Garfield, let alone that it would explode into the multi-million dollar thing that it is today. The reason Jim got to where he is today is because of his philosophy on life. He says, "Do what makes you happy, whether it is gardening, selling, or writing.... If you do something constructive that makes you happy, you'll work harder. The harder you work, the better you get. The better you get, the better you'll do. Success is bound to accompany the happiness." Mr. Carpino told me that it's all about having a vision or a plan. He said that when he was in graduate school he sat down and wrote out a plan of all the things he wanted to do. He got a little crazy on the details, even down to what kind of office he would have and what the view from his window would be! I don't think I'll take it that far, but the idea is really good. He said that writing out a plan makes it a lot easier to accomplish what you want. He said that years later he looked back at what he had written and like 95% of it was accurate to what actually happened. "So I would advise you to make a plan" he said. I told him that I've been messing around with some ideas lately, and he asked what they were. So I told him about Rex and Marti and their furniture shop, and how Marti and I have talked about me possibly working for them over the summer. I told him that I could totally see myself in that kind of job because I would absolutely love it. I could see myself having a job like that (maybe not that exact job, but a similar one) full time because I would enjoy it and it would make the necessary money, and then I could do other things on the side like photography and sing in a choir or work with a kids choir and maybe even teach a class here and there. Most teachers and professors, I think, would find my ideas a little random and lacking focus, but he seemed to think I was right on track. He called me an "aligned" person, which to him is a great thing to be. He said it's a great quality to have and there aren't many people who are truly aligned. That definitely boosted my confidence a little! So I'm starting to sort through things a little better now, and I'm really glad I didn't come away feeling like I'm wasting my time being here or being in Education. In not so many words, Mr. Carpino implied that it was fine if I never "used" my major. That makes me happy. He told me "Don't let the nay-sayers discourage you from doing what you want to do." I was like, "yeah, they're the ones who hate their jobs anyway!" So I am greatly encouraged today. I am convinced that I will have a wonderful life with a job that I enjoy, or at least a job that makes money and hobbies I enjoy! It's a good day.
Oct 14, 2003
At long last...
I'm just now getting a chance to post. And I don't even really have time to say much. I will say that Sonburst was great once again. Here are the words to one of the songs we did that I really liked.
We lift our hands in the sanctuary
We lift our hands to give You the glory
We lift our hands to give You the praise
And we will praise You for the rest of our days
We will praise You for the rest of our days
Jesus, we give You the praise
Emanuel, we lift up Your name
Risen Savior, coming Messiah
We will praise You for the rest of our days
We will praise You for the rest of our days
[We clap our hands]
[We sing our songs]
Yes
Yes, Lord, for the rest of our days
I'm just now getting a chance to post. And I don't even really have time to say much. I will say that Sonburst was great once again. Here are the words to one of the songs we did that I really liked.
We lift our hands in the sanctuary
We lift our hands to give You the glory
We lift our hands to give You the praise
And we will praise You for the rest of our days
We will praise You for the rest of our days
Jesus, we give You the praise
Emanuel, we lift up Your name
Risen Savior, coming Messiah
We will praise You for the rest of our days
We will praise You for the rest of our days
[We clap our hands]
[We sing our songs]
Yes
Yes, Lord, for the rest of our days
Oct 9, 2003
Last post of the week...
Yeah, I won't get a chance to post again because I'm going on a retreat with InterVarsity called Sonburst. I went last year and it was like the best thing I've ever done. We're leaving tomorrow after classes. I'm SOOO excited! It will be great to have a weekend with no homework and total focus on things of God. I'm sure there will be some good stuff to post about when I get back. So that's all for now. Later.
Yeah, I won't get a chance to post again because I'm going on a retreat with InterVarsity called Sonburst. I went last year and it was like the best thing I've ever done. We're leaving tomorrow after classes. I'm SOOO excited! It will be great to have a weekend with no homework and total focus on things of God. I'm sure there will be some good stuff to post about when I get back. So that's all for now. Later.
Oct 8, 2003
"this is a [post] about the two loves of my life..."
In order of affection: Tazo Chai Tea Latte and Tazo Chai Tea Cream Frappachino. Yumm! Monday night was our much-anticipated first trip of the semester to Barnes and Noble. It was then that I discovered the latte. Today I had a craving for another one, so on my way to my elementary school I stopped in again. I decided to try the frappachino. It was different but quite good.
Monday was a weird day. One of those where everything feels as though it's going wrong, yet God spoke in very clear ways in the midst of it all. I was struggling with thoughts of my future... where I'm going, what I'm doing, etc. At InterVarsity we sang "No Sacrifice," the words of which I have posted here on more than one occasion. I needed that song so badly. Here go the lyrics once more...
to You I give my life
not just the parts I want to.
to You I sacrifice
these dreams that I hold on to.
Your thoughts are higher than mine,
Your words are deeper than mine,
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice, here's my life.
to You I give the gifts
Your love has given me.
how can I hoard the treasure
that You designed for free? (chorus)
to You I give my future
as long as it may last.
to You I give my present.
to You I give my past.
The speaker on Monday said something to the effect of "if you're comfortable, you're missing out on something." I thought to myself, "well, I must not be missing out cause I'm really uncomfortable right now!" Honestly, Monday was a really rough day. But I really needed to hear what the speaker had to say. He talked about having faith to take a risk and just trust God. He mentioned how we sing the words to the song I just posted, yet we just want to sit in the boat instead of stepping out on the water.
Good things have happened in the last 24 hours. God is starting to show me the answers to the prayers I prayed on Monday. I've been able to get a lot of my thoughts together. I know He's in control. I know something incredible is going to take place in my life in the next few years. I'm excited.
In order of affection: Tazo Chai Tea Latte and Tazo Chai Tea Cream Frappachino. Yumm! Monday night was our much-anticipated first trip of the semester to Barnes and Noble. It was then that I discovered the latte. Today I had a craving for another one, so on my way to my elementary school I stopped in again. I decided to try the frappachino. It was different but quite good.
Monday was a weird day. One of those where everything feels as though it's going wrong, yet God spoke in very clear ways in the midst of it all. I was struggling with thoughts of my future... where I'm going, what I'm doing, etc. At InterVarsity we sang "No Sacrifice," the words of which I have posted here on more than one occasion. I needed that song so badly. Here go the lyrics once more...
to You I give my life
not just the parts I want to.
to You I sacrifice
these dreams that I hold on to.
Your thoughts are higher than mine,
Your words are deeper than mine,
Your love is stronger than mine.
This is no sacrifice, here's my life.
to You I give the gifts
Your love has given me.
how can I hoard the treasure
that You designed for free? (chorus)
to You I give my future
as long as it may last.
to You I give my present.
to You I give my past.
The speaker on Monday said something to the effect of "if you're comfortable, you're missing out on something." I thought to myself, "well, I must not be missing out cause I'm really uncomfortable right now!" Honestly, Monday was a really rough day. But I really needed to hear what the speaker had to say. He talked about having faith to take a risk and just trust God. He mentioned how we sing the words to the song I just posted, yet we just want to sit in the boat instead of stepping out on the water.
Good things have happened in the last 24 hours. God is starting to show me the answers to the prayers I prayed on Monday. I've been able to get a lot of my thoughts together. I know He's in control. I know something incredible is going to take place in my life in the next few years. I'm excited.
Oct 7, 2003
Oct 4, 2003
Oct 3, 2003
Boy, what an exciting day... just kidding. So I woke up for class this morning (and I actually went to breakfast today) and in my psychology class there was this professor dude who wasn't our usual teacher. He was like, "Dr. Noboloff is unable to be here today, so I'm supposed to put in this video for you and you're supposed to stay till it's over." So we had to watch a 20 minute ANIMATED video about the effects of drugs on the human brain. It was honestly the worst thing I've ever had to sit through. I was really shocked that only one person left class since there was no professor and we didn't take roll. My second (and last) class of the day was fine. After that, I went to the 95 Cordova cafe and sat out on the patio balcony thingy and read some Plato. Lost focus after a while and started sketching random things on my paper. Got a phone call from Brenna. Read a little more. Walked down St. George Street a bit. Walked back to school. Read some more out in the gazebo, where some of the philosophy majors were sitting around with one of those Aborigonal Austrailian instrument thingies... you know, those long wood tube things that really only have one pitch, therefore I find them very boring... yeah, that was a little weird. Couldn't take Plato any more, so I finally came inside. Did a few random things for a while in the room. Took a much needed nap and slept through dinner. Krissy and I had Tang and pickles later! Yumm! Watched Krissy get ready for her date. Cooked some Romen and watched "Maid in Manhattan." That was my day.
Oct 2, 2003
Thinking...
I wonder how many times we misinterpret people's actions to mean something other than what they truely mean. I know I do it a lot. There's innumerable situations right now even where I wonder if a friend or I have misinterpreted things completely. Maybe we see a conversation taking place between other people and we try to make up what was being said and we somehow convince ourselves that that indeed was the actual conversation. Or maybe we hear a comment and make the false assumption that it was about ourselves. Or we simply misread people's reactions. Maybe they're just tired, but we assume something is wrong because they don't seem to be themselves. The list goes on and on. I guess I'm being taught that you shouldn't make assumptions about people's actions. You should gather the facts before forming your opinion. Know what's going on instead of just thinking you know. As Socrates would say, the wise man is not the one who says he knows, but the one who says he does not know.
I wonder how many times we misinterpret people's actions to mean something other than what they truely mean. I know I do it a lot. There's innumerable situations right now even where I wonder if a friend or I have misinterpreted things completely. Maybe we see a conversation taking place between other people and we try to make up what was being said and we somehow convince ourselves that that indeed was the actual conversation. Or maybe we hear a comment and make the false assumption that it was about ourselves. Or we simply misread people's reactions. Maybe they're just tired, but we assume something is wrong because they don't seem to be themselves. The list goes on and on. I guess I'm being taught that you shouldn't make assumptions about people's actions. You should gather the facts before forming your opinion. Know what's going on instead of just thinking you know. As Socrates would say, the wise man is not the one who says he knows, but the one who says he does not know.
One of my many favorite songs...
I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from?
My help comes from You, Maker of heaven, Creator of the earth.
Oh how I need You, Lord, You are my only hope, You are my only friend
So I will wait for You to come and rescue me, come and give me life... give me life.
I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from?
My help comes from You, Maker of heaven, Creator of the earth.
Oh how I need You, Lord, You are my only hope, You are my only friend
So I will wait for You to come and rescue me, come and give me life... give me life.
Oct 1, 2003
Signs...
Neon signs. Big, flashing neon signs. That's what we should have. They should be above every person's head, telling us things we need to know about them. Like "Sincere" or "Jerk" or "Fake" or "Honest." So often we're left to wonder and figure these things out on our own. So often this becomes a very difficult task. It would be so much simpler if we just knew. If it were just told to us. Then we could skip the figuring out stage and get right into getting to know the people we want to get to know. In a perfect world, we would just know. But alas, ours is not a world of perfection, so we are left to figure it all out.
Neon signs. Big, flashing neon signs. That's what we should have. They should be above every person's head, telling us things we need to know about them. Like "Sincere" or "Jerk" or "Fake" or "Honest." So often we're left to wonder and figure these things out on our own. So often this becomes a very difficult task. It would be so much simpler if we just knew. If it were just told to us. Then we could skip the figuring out stage and get right into getting to know the people we want to get to know. In a perfect world, we would just know. But alas, ours is not a world of perfection, so we are left to figure it all out.
Sep 30, 2003
Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:8-9/NIV
Verseoftheday.com
1 Peter 1:8-9/NIV
Verseoftheday.com
Sep 29, 2003
Why...
Why am I so stubborn? Why don't I get it? God has told me -- has promised me -- that if I seek Him, everything else will just fall into place. Yet I seek my own desires instead of His, and nothing really works out! Tonight He reminded me that if I would just leave things up to Him, the things I want will fall into my lap before I even notice. "Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day" (Rainer Maria Rilke).
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."
Why am I so stubborn? Why don't I get it? God has told me -- has promised me -- that if I seek Him, everything else will just fall into place. Yet I seek my own desires instead of His, and nothing really works out! Tonight He reminded me that if I would just leave things up to Him, the things I want will fall into my lap before I even notice. "Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day" (Rainer Maria Rilke).
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."
Reach down, please touch my soul... I've given away pieces and it needs to be made whole... purge me in your healing flood... wash away the emptiness, fill me with your love... I want to taste of your mercy... I want to drink in your life... I want rest in your fullness... I want to run in your light... oh breathe in me... oh breathe in me... breath of life
-- "Breath of Life" by Among Thorns
-- "Breath of Life" by Among Thorns
Sep 28, 2003
"Painting Pictures of Egypt" by Sara Groves
I don't want to leave here;
I don't want to stay.
It feels like pinching to me either way.
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I've been.
They are calling out to me like a long lost friend.
It's not about losing faith;
It's not about trust.
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much.
And the place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live.
And it wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this.
I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacked.
The future feels so hard
And I want to go back.
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned.
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned.
The past is so tangible;
I know it by heart.
Familiar things are never easy to discard.
I was dying for some freedom,
But now I hesitate to go,
I am caught between the promise
And the things I know. (chorus)
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
I don't want to leave here;
I don't want to stay.
It feels like pinching to me either way.
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I've been.
They are calling out to me like a long lost friend.
It's not about losing faith;
It's not about trust.
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much.
And the place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live.
And it wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this.
I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacked.
The future feels so hard
And I want to go back.
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned.
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned.
The past is so tangible;
I know it by heart.
Familiar things are never easy to discard.
I was dying for some freedom,
But now I hesitate to go,
I am caught between the promise
And the things I know. (chorus)
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it.
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
Sep 27, 2003
Where is he?
Searching. Wondering. Waiting. Where is he? Is he here already and I just don't see him? Or is he somewhere else still? Who knows. I sure don't; I have no idea. I wish I knew. But am I supposed to know? Obviously not, because I don't. Can he see me? I don't really think so. I think we'll see each other at the same time. But what if he can? What if he can see me and I just can't see him? Is that possible? Hmmm. At any rate, the waiting sure is getting hard. Or boring. Hard and boring, I think. Is he waiting like I am? I mean, is it hard and boring for him, too? Or is he so preoccupied with everything else that he doesn't even realize the wait? Like the doctor's office. All it takes is a really intriguing magazine article and the wait is insignificant. But what to do when there's no magazines? A hard, boring wait. You become consumed with the fact that you're waiting. I'm consumed. I shouldn't be. I have plenty of magazines. But I guess it's like waiting to find out if you've got cancer. The magazines are of no help then. I'm not waiting for bad news, though. I have no reason to be anxious. Yet at times the anticipation is excruciating. Why is the smell of brownies baking so tormenting? Yeah, that's how it is. Like brownies. I know -- I know for sure -- they're going to taste incredible, but the wait is so hard. And I can't focus on how interesting the magazine is because the smell is there distracting me. So I am consumed with the fact that I am waiting. Searching. Wondering. Waiting.
Searching. Wondering. Waiting. Where is he? Is he here already and I just don't see him? Or is he somewhere else still? Who knows. I sure don't; I have no idea. I wish I knew. But am I supposed to know? Obviously not, because I don't. Can he see me? I don't really think so. I think we'll see each other at the same time. But what if he can? What if he can see me and I just can't see him? Is that possible? Hmmm. At any rate, the waiting sure is getting hard. Or boring. Hard and boring, I think. Is he waiting like I am? I mean, is it hard and boring for him, too? Or is he so preoccupied with everything else that he doesn't even realize the wait? Like the doctor's office. All it takes is a really intriguing magazine article and the wait is insignificant. But what to do when there's no magazines? A hard, boring wait. You become consumed with the fact that you're waiting. I'm consumed. I shouldn't be. I have plenty of magazines. But I guess it's like waiting to find out if you've got cancer. The magazines are of no help then. I'm not waiting for bad news, though. I have no reason to be anxious. Yet at times the anticipation is excruciating. Why is the smell of brownies baking so tormenting? Yeah, that's how it is. Like brownies. I know -- I know for sure -- they're going to taste incredible, but the wait is so hard. And I can't focus on how interesting the magazine is because the smell is there distracting me. So I am consumed with the fact that I am waiting. Searching. Wondering. Waiting.
Sep 26, 2003
Another quote from Martens. This one's for you, Laci.
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day. (Rainer Maria Rilke -- "Letters to a Young Poet")
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day. (Rainer Maria Rilke -- "Letters to a Young Poet")
The following was a post from L.Martens at Wander, Worshipper, Lover of Leaving. I really like it.
Cutting the Strings
"Let us return once more to the image of the puppet theatre that our argument conjured up before. We see the puppets dancing on their miniature stage, moving up and down as the strings pull them around, following the prescribed course of their various little parts. We learn to understand the logic of this theatre and we find ourselves in its motions. We locate ourselves in society and thus recognize our own position as we hang from its subtle strings. For a moment we see ourselves as puppets indeed. But then we grasp a decisive difference between the puppet theatre and our own drama. Unlike the puppets, we have the possibility of stopping in our movements, looking up and perceiving the machinery by which we have been moved. In this act lies the first step towards freedom." (Peter L Berger)
Cutting the Strings
"Let us return once more to the image of the puppet theatre that our argument conjured up before. We see the puppets dancing on their miniature stage, moving up and down as the strings pull them around, following the prescribed course of their various little parts. We learn to understand the logic of this theatre and we find ourselves in its motions. We locate ourselves in society and thus recognize our own position as we hang from its subtle strings. For a moment we see ourselves as puppets indeed. But then we grasp a decisive difference between the puppet theatre and our own drama. Unlike the puppets, we have the possibility of stopping in our movements, looking up and perceiving the machinery by which we have been moved. In this act lies the first step towards freedom." (Peter L Berger)
