Aug 18, 2003

Crushed hopes...

I have this friend who just makes me so sad sometimes. Here's the story. She got saved several years ago (about two, I think), which I was incredibly excited about, but she still doesn't "get" God. I don't know that I've ever seen an ounce of passion in her about the things of God, nor have I seen her experience true spirit-filled worship. Okay, I know you could say this about lots of people, but it's quite severe in her case. It's like she really just doesn't care. She comes to church most of the time, but I would say it's mostly for the social aspect of it. While there, it's as if everything we do has absolutely no value to her. Singing is just something we do; preaching is just something to listen to, if she even bothers to stay for that part; and while the Bible study is expected to be "good," I doubt seriously if she could tell me what it was about as soon as it's over. I just want to scream at her: "God is so much bigger than you can see. It's not about doing the church thing; it's about having a passionate relationship with God." It makes me so sad to see her like she is. I had such great hopes for her. God has such great hopes for her. I just want her to get a glimpse of who God is. I'm convinced it would permanently alter her perspective.

Other than this, I had a pretty good day. Point of particular interest is that the pastor's message coincided with my quiet time today. He even quoted one of the verses I read this morning. That's always incouraging, because it reassures me that I'm reading what I'm reading for a purpose. I don't believe in "coincidences"; I believe God plans for things to fit perfectly together.

Upcoming events: hmmmm.... not much. Really, really not much. The next two weeks look kinda bleak. I'm only working like two days this week, due to my hours being cut, which I mentioned yesterday. Don't yet know what my last week of work will be like. The last weekend of the month, however, we will be keeping "the kids" at my house. That's my youngest neice and nephew. Brandy is two months away from being 4 years old, and Cody is nearly 5-and-a-half (and started school this year, so I'm sure I'll hear all about it). It's a horribly inconveinient (sp?) time for them to come, though, because I'll be doing a bunch of laundry and packing to move on the following Tuesday. I have this brilliant idea, however, which isn't any more conveinient but a bunch of fun: Allie is going on a road trip of sorts the last week of the month, and if I could somehow manage not to work at all that week rather than the one or two days that they will probably schedule me, I could try to convince her to let me go with her! (And since I haven't mentioned this to her yet, Allie will learn of my "brilliant" idea as she reads it here on Monday while at work!) I'm pretty sure this plan of mine will not work at all, but it would be fun if it did. Hey, it's nice to dream! Anyway, back to the upcoming events. The singles' group from church is going on a Labor day retreat to St. Augustine, which I am not going on, due to moving the next day and the cost of the trip. I may go down and hang out with them on Labor day though. (They will be there for 4 days, Monday being the last.) Kind of a weird plan for me, since I will then return home, pack my car, and return to St. Augustine the next day. I haven't decided yet. I may, or I may not. Then... TUESDAY is moving day! Hip-Hip-Hooray! I've told friends that I believe God implanted this little switch thingy in people's brains so when they turn 18 it suddenly becomes more and more unbearable to live at your parents' house. The summer hasn't been horrible or anything; it's just that I'm like a fully-functioning adult 8 months out of the year, but for the 4 that I'm here, I'm suddenly treated just like a high schooler again. I'm ready to be away again!

Well, that's about it. If I write any more it will just be jibberish. I'm sure if you've read this far you're bored to tears already. I apologize! Happy Monday to all, and to all a good night.

Later!

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