"Hello, friends. I'm your Vitameatavegamine girl. Are you tired, run-down, listless? Do you poop out at parties? Are you unpopular? Well, the answer to all your problems is in this little bottle..."
(for those of you who don't know what this is from, shame on you! I would quote the whole thing, but it's much too long, and it would be far too strange to demonstrate that I could actually quote the whole thing from memory!)
-from the I Love Lucy show