RATED 'g'? I'M NOT QUITE SURE....

HOLY COW! What a day we had at work! For the most part, it was completely uneventful. Aside from moving a bunch of new merchandise around, it was kinda slow in the store for most of the day. THEN sometime after lunch I was working cash register and I had this customer.......... She came through my line with a baby in a stroller, which I assume was her grandchild since she seemed a little old to have a newborn. FIRST of all, she had on a pair of shorts from the store that she had not yet purchased, so she pulled off the tag and gave it to me so I could scan it. She also had three or four tee shirts with her. [ You always start to suspect that a person is slightly strange when they seem to have no concept of what size they wear.] She had with her a boys size 8 tee shirt, which she wanted to know did I think would fit her. She informed me that she usually wears a boys 10. (Why does she wear boys tee shirts in the first place? I have no idea.) I told her I thought it would be a little tight on her, so she decided not to purchase that shirt. One of the other shirts was a boys XXL, and she had me call one of the other employees on my headset to see if they could find an XL or L. (Why didn't she have the right size to begin with? I have no idea.) While I was waiting for a response from my coworker, however, the UNTHINKABLE happened. The woman decided to try on the shirt.... WHILE STANDING IN MY LINE!!! She removed the shirt she was wearing [I prayed "dear Lord, PLEASE let her have on her undergarments!"] and tried on the XXL tee shirt, and told me that she thought it fit fine, so she would get that one. Mind you, there are two or three customers in line behind her! She pulled the tag from the shirt she was now wearing for me to scan, I quickly completed her transaction, and then the next exciting circumstance developed. The shorts... remember the shorts?... the shorts still had the security sensor on them, which has to be removed before you leave the store. In normal situations, this is no problem. However, since the woman had the shorts on, this was to be a rather difficult situation. The security sensor is on the inseam of shorts, and since the inseam of the shorts is only 3 and a half inches long, it was practically in the woman's crotch! The sensor releaser is mounted on the side of my register counter (on the inside where I, the cashieer, stand) so the woman came around the counter and attempted to remove the sensor from the shorts while wearing them. Removing the sensors under normal circumstances can be difficult, especially if you've never done it before, so this situation was completely unsuccessful. The woman -- who had by now removed her old clothes, placed them on my counter, and asked me to THROW THEM AWAY -- decided to go back to the fitting room, remove the shorts, give them to an employee, have the employee take them back to the front to remove the sensor, and return the shorts to her in the fitting room. While in the fitting room, she decided she wanted a different pair of shorts INSTEAD of the ones she had on, so she gave the first pair of shorts, the new pair of shorts, her credit card, and her receipt to an employee to have her go to the front, do a return for her, and return the second pair of shorts back to the fitting room. As if she had not caused us to go to enough extra effort already, she had the nerve to ask the fitting room attendent to call the employee who was doing the return and ask how much longer it would be! All the while, the woman was standing in the middle of the fitting room in plain view WITHOUT any pants on! [Oh, and here's some information that I wasn't sure where to throw in: the woman's reason for buying and wearing these clothes was that she had gotten dirty in the garden. Now, if I had gotten dirty in the garden, presumably at my house or a relative's house, I don't believe my first instinct would be to load up the baby stroller, drive to the mall, and buy new clothes to put on. I think I could have found some clean clothes at the house!] This concluded our eventful circumstance of the day. Pam, one of my managers, scooped up the old clothes that were still on my counter into a plastic bag, taking care not to touch them, and whisked them away into the back room to be disposed of. For the next several minutes all the employees and many of the customers just kept giving each other looks, as if to say, "What just happened here???" Frankly, I'm not quite sure.