Jul 27, 2003

I was thinking tonight during the evening service at church how silly it is for me to strive for the things I think I want becase I'm usually miserable when I do that. Relief only comes when I give total control over to God and His will. Earlier in the year I remember I was miserable for a while because I was seeking my will over God's. Rather than just relaxing and letting things happen the way God intended, I spent endless hours wondering and worrying about what the outcome would be. Actually, this applies to a lot of situations I've been in! Anyway, I'm not saying that we don't have a responsibility to do certain things in order for us to take the path God has chosen for us; I'm just saying that we should relax a little and just let things fall into place, because if God has planned for something to happen, then it will. Our worrying will not change a thing. "Who of you, by worrying, can add one inch to his stature?" And like Wes says, we like to call it "concern" rather than worry, as if we're less guilty if we don't call it what it is. Sit back, relax, and obey and everything will be fine.

(I just spilled my sweet tea and came about an inch away from completely drenching my laptop.)

Today I had to explain to some friends (again) that I really don't plan on coming back next summer. That's tough. These are people that I really care about so it's tough telling them that Christmas will be the last time they'll see me for any length of time. Then, I was thinking about what a tough decision it really is to move away permanently. The decision itself isn't hard at all because that's what I really want to do, but what I will miss most is my church. It's weird because I love my church here and I love my church in St. Augustine, but both for completely different reasons. I love Westside for the preaching and the choir and the people I've always known. I love Anastasia for the awesome worship, the fresh approach, and the growing college ministry. The two are so totally different it's unbelievable. Yet I miss each of them when I'm away. It's killing me right now not to be able to go to Anastasia's awesome worship service every week. Yet when I'm there, it kills me that I'm not at Westside singing in the awesome choir. Hmmm. What to do. Sit back, relax, and obey? I suppose that sounds like a plan.

"The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example."
-from my fortune cookie today!

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